My Wedding Day
Today, April 15 2017... I had a dream. I dreamed of my Wedding Day.
I'm writing this down, because after all the dreams and nightmares that I had, this one was the longest and most memorable dream I had ever had. Why? Because this was about a dream of a man named "Bobby". My Ex-boyfriend that I know I will never get over with...
Of all the dreams I had about this guy, this was the only dream of him that felt so real. It felt so real it was like I was living in another life where everything actually happened. I felt all the emotions and physically touches in that dream, even when I woke up. All of those feelings lingered throughout the day, repeating those images in my head, repeating all those words in my head as well.
To start... What was in that dream? To...
Broken Hearts
March 10, 2012… I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. My stomach was in knots, I felt like I was going to vomit and my stress level was maxed out. Between the decorations, the rehearsal, the dresses, hair.... and the fact that I had gained weight and my dress didn't fit properly anymore definitely didn't help things. I remember being to the point of tears by the time the night was over. I remember everyone reassuring me that the details didn't matter because I was still going to be married to the love of my life by the end of the next day. They were right! (I thought)...
I remember lying in bed that night, still stressing, thinking of all of the things that we still had to do, what time I had to be at the church the next morning. "Did I tell everyone what time to be there? Did...
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The day you first texted me, or hit me up; I thought it was weird. Little did I know we would be here. We started to talk almost everyday and it was good. No one ever gave me that kind of attention before; I felt needed, loved, and cared for. I knew a lot of my friends and family cared and loved me, obviously; but I never felt the kind of affection you gave me. It was new, it was scary, it was worth it, at the time. Something about you had me hooked. You were like a drug I was slowly getting addicted to. We talked every night. I would facetime you or you would facetime me, and we would talk endlessly or until one of us fell asleep. This kind of attention I had never felt before. It was good, at the moment. Little did I know, you showed that kind of attention to every body. You told me I...
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Dear dad (and every dad who loves his daughter)
Today after 26 years I question myself why i was brought to this world? Yes, you read it right. Why did you had me and later you taught me all wrong,all these years? Why? Why i was kept in imaginary world of love and kept away from reality? All the years you told me stories of my prince charming who would come and love me even more then you. You should have also told me the other side of the story! The story of a cruel prince, prince who beats his princess.
Dad you said i was beautiful, but the prince you found don't think the same.
Dad you also said i was smart and very intelligent but my prince says that i am stupid, and also my dad is stupid.
My prince hates my body, he says i look sick.
My prince also calls me a Dog as he feels I...
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Disclaimer: The inspiration that made me write this letter was from Sam Hunts "Break Up In a Small Town" Love him and that song :)
I saw you today, and we acknowledged each other for the first time in weeks. You don't look good. You almost look angry...but not at me (I hope). You have this different look about you now that we are separated..a look that makes me fear you. I think our relationship was too forced. It seemed like it was driven from loneliness and not love..at least for me anyway. I was so lonely and itching for that kind of love that all my friends had..I was jealous. So I went for it, with you. I realize now that that was the wrong thing to do. I dragged our relationship out for months, when deep down I knew you were not the one for me. It was not your fault in...
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Life.
What does life bring you? Does it bring you sorrow or joy?
Whatever it brings, you were meant to live your life the best you can.
It seems very obvious to point out, but many people don’t realise that the sole purpose of life is to enjoy it.
Yet many people cannot do such a thing.
They yearn for things which they know will not fill their empty gaping hole, but will settle their hunger for a short time.
Yes, I know, I sound like those spiritual gurus who are forcing you to free the mind, free the mind etc. But I’m not. You don’t need spiritual gurus to know how to be happy.
This is how to be happy:
• Don’t let anger and hate eat away at you.
I must have said this about a million times, but truly, you can’t act like a rude, harsh, unkind, uncaring and unfeeling human being...
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Rupert,
I just wanted to explain something to you...
I am insecure these days, something I am not used to. You see, when I was yours, there was no need to be scared as I knew we would last forever. I had to compete with nobody, compare the size of my thighs with no-one, look at another woman's perfect smile and feel no fear, see a girl with beautiful eyes and a perfect bum lingering round you and still not be afraid. You see, you were mine. Only mine. You had chosen me - over all others... and every evening when the corridors quietened and the hubbub ended, it was always my door you ended up at. You would come to me and say 'I'm heading home - see you in a bit.' I never felt threatened or envious like so many of my girlfriends had described. You made me feel secure.
Most evenings...
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I've spent over an hour staring at this blank screen thinking of ways to start this letter off. But now that I think of it, maybe its just because I simply have nothing left to say to you. You took things from me I will never be able to get back.
Every morning I wake up from a dream with you and I just keep telling myself to close my eyes and go back to sleep. Just go back to the feeling of being wrapped in your arms.
" Did you take your medicine this morning?"
yes mom.
" How are you feeling?"
I don't know mom.
" Did you talk to-"
mom please stop you know I don't want to think about her.
Don't want to think about her.
Don't want to think about her lips
Don't want to think about her hands
Don't want to think about her scars
Don't want to think about her perfume...
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And so... memories of us slowly begins to fade.
The "hi" "hello" things was replaced by a deafening silence.. what happened to us really?
I cannot seem to understand why I am so affected by you while we haven't met each other personally.
Every night I am thinking.. One thing is for sure.. I'm drawn to you.
It feels so empty when we don't talk like we used to do before.
No matter whom I talked to, I am still longing for you.
But to you I am just a friend, a "special person" you say. You always leave me hanging..
I don't want this anymore.. I am just the girl you found when you were on the process of forgetting the girl you one had.
I will take a step back from you, whether one day you realize or not, atleast I tried my best to stay with you at the time you...
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I just don't have the courage to say these things to you now, but probaby one day i will be the one who will send this to you.
I can clearly remember it was a month of september when we had our first hi and hello. I chatted you first and asked for your kakao id. I knew from the very first time i laid my eyes on you, that you are something. I mean, something that i've ever been looking for.
You were a gentleman, you never even doubted my motive why i'm chatting with you. You even spared almost all of your time chatting with me. You even shared that you were broken hearted that time and it's like we were in the same situtation. What the girl did to you, i also did to my ex. And we were like having goosebumps and saying "are you my ex!?"..
I can still remember how i...
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