Broken Hearts

Well, now If little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you Little by little If suddenly you forget me Do not look for me For I shall already have forgotten you If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots Remember That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms And my roots will set off to seek another land
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Dear ex, I am currently seeking professional help to process and hopefully overcome all I went through with you. I have come to the painful realisation that you were in fact abusive. Even now seeing it written down, I struggle to completely accept it. I still make excuses for it, for you. I still try and explain why you did what you did and that it’s not your fault because you have been through things and you need help too. I tried to tell you before, that what you were doing constitutes as abuse, but you always dismissed it and said I was being dramatic, so I started to believe you. You told me I was being ridiculous and I was 6ft tall, so how could someone who was 5ft be abusing me. It made me feel pathetic and I thought no one would ever believe me or if they did, they wouldn’t...
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We were once the closest of friends. We hung out together daily after school for lunch, texted and chatted about everything under the sky. We were inseparable, and school was made fun only because of you. The once jovial you, however, changed soon after I introduced you to him. Naive as I was, I never expected for two of my best friends to vibe so well and to grow even closer than what both of you were to me at first. Alas, after knowing him you experienced bouts of anxiety and depression, confiding me about your suicidal thoughts occasionally. I tried to break down your wall, to help you overcome the stress and worry that you were facing at that point in time. Despite my persistent attempts, you refused to see a counsellor. Refused to confide in your parents or in your teachers. Refused...
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"Lost" they say that hell is crowded, yet, when you’re in hell, you always seem to be alone....
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for my part in the hurt y'all feel, babies, i am truly sorry. i am so sorry for the pain i caused. i didn't leave y'all or at least that was never my intention. i only meant to leave y'all father. i only ever meant to be happy. i absolutely loved being a mom. it's the only thing that i miss. i only craved happiness...
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We all have childhood sweethearts. We all have first loves and great loves. Mine just happened to be the three of them combined. To Chester, this is for you. We were something that was never meant to happen. Because if we were meant to be, it wouldn't have ended that way. But time with you is time worth spending or wasting. No one understands me the way you do. No one sees me the way you do. No one can fill my gaps the way you do. No one would ask me what book I read after disappearing for 5 hours. No one would sing with me during calls. No one would be my selfie dump. No one would be the Chester that I need in my life. People know that I was so gone for you. Even after 2 years of being separated, you're still the only one I'm willing to live for. You, Chester, bewitched...
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oh. wait. is that the stench of guilt i'm smelling? must be. but no. no, i didn't go through your phone. i will ever only make that mistake one time. so pay attention to what i'm telling you. and please know this to be very true. understand this to be facts. you ready? for the remainder of my life ... I WILL NEVER AGAIN GO INTO YOUR PHONE! under no circumstances. won't matter. once is enough. enough disappointment. enough heartbreak. once is enough for this fool. you know, i'm usually so damn good about keeping myself busy, but i was having an off night. boredom and too much time to think. my two worst enemies. i knew better. damnit i know better. yet i didn't do better. fuck! i just needed some goddamn reassurance. that's it. reassurance that you were all that you portrayed yourself to...
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You are my all time favorite game. I bought my first starter deck of Revised Edition in 1994, a year after the first release and I was instantly hooked. I started High School, Mtg and my first job in the same week of that year and over the next three years I spent a great deal of money I made at that job on your cards and played them on the floor in the halls of that school. A friend of mine and I taught ourselves to play from the little rule book, but a whole new world was revealed to us when we made contact with the local card shop that was running your tournaments in town. At our first tournament we were just playing every card we owned. Before a year had passed that little card shop closed and the tournaments stopped, but I wasn’t done with you. Far from it. I put up posters and...
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I literally dont know how to start this.. I guess ill start by saying that im sorry. Im sorry for not realising and giving you what you really want, i got so self absorbed in doing what I thought was right for us but despite this please remember that I did love you. I loved you with the best of me even though its not what you needed. You see, Ive been in this exact same situation. But at the same time its different from the others. Its different because for once i feel this heavy weight on my shoulders, so much sadness and hurt in me and its starting to take over the love i have for you. Its different because i think i actually havent loved this much before? Which i blame you for. I blame you because for that short amount of time all you showed me was how amazing you are, how...
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This will be my last letter to you. DB I would tell you anything and everything if you ever asked. If you wanted to know something, I'd tell you. Because I've chosen to trust you and I've chosen to fancy you. Even though, now that I really think about it, I barely even know you. With that privilege though, you've also gained the ability to hurt me. I wish I knew what I was to you, if anything. I wish I could just ask you and talk to you about how you make me feel. I've given you access to affect the emotions inside me because somehow...I've gotten so very attached. I know better. I know it's wrong. Perhaps that is why I feel as though I can't just ask you ...because I know what your answer would be. It would be the logical and obvious answer... I'm nothing important. Because you...
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