To the man i never truly met.
From the very first message I knew there was something about you. Something even a year later i still can't put my finger on, but you made me feel like i mattered.
As time went on i soon worked out our lives have crossed paths in more ways than one, i knew of your bother and you knew my ex husband.. were even working with him at the time!
Out of all the people i could have messaged that day it had to be you, you weren't even my type! but there was something magical about you!
We had the same way of thinking, we both had failed marriages we both wanted to find love again and our children meant the world to us!
You were different from any other guy i had talked to, but i couldn't tell you who i actually was because i knew it would change everything, but...
Broken Hearts
They say, it’s right love at the wrong time. Some says that the person is not just right for you. But for me, i can say that the timing is right, the person is right but things are complicated and we have to go on separate ways. We’re leading on a different side of the road. A road where i can’t take him with me and his road where he needs to walk away alone. We have different journey, we have a battle that we need to face alone, all by ourselves.
Our hearts beats as one. My heart screams for his name and i am the keeper of his heart. The love we have for each other is pure and unconditional. It’s a magic for two people to find each other, moreover to love each other just the same. We fell in love at the right time and we’re just perfect for each other. It’s like he filled the missing...
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Its hard to tell when you changed. Its hard to tell when you lost love for me. You aren't the same, some say you've changed for the better, but not me. You broke my heart, and I forgave you. We stopped talking but you came back, and I foolishly let you. I let you back into my home, and my heart. I didn't feel the same, the love I had for you had become dull, but still I stayed in hopes it would come back, and it did. Nothing was the same, we both knew that. I forgave you, but I didn't forget. You have done so much to me that has hurt me, but still I act as if everything is fine and take you back. I should've known you were going to leave me again. You promised you wouldn't leave, you told my family that they didn't have to worry about me being heart broken again. I always had the...
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Sometimes I imagine you have died.
I know that is a little harsh but it's not too far from the truth, it's only a ghost of your former self I have to see haunt my news feed. You got a tattoo? You smoke cigarettes? I don't recognize you anymore, but just think how much easier it would be for me if you ceased to exist. Okay maybe too melodramatic but then I wouldn't have to see your happy smiling face all the time and wonder why I wasn't good enough for you anymore. Why one day I woke up and realized I wasn't the person you turned to anymore, and although my life was a mess I didn't know you well enough anymore to tell you. I didn't know you well enough. I have known you for 6 years and suddenly you were a stranger.
Sometimes I wish you had died.
Because at least then I could mourn...
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We have so many memories, that I don't know where to start. We were so young when we first met that no one thought we'd last. You were my first everything, not just love. You were the first boy to kiss me, make me cry, comfort me when my family got crazy, tell me I was beautiful just the way I am, and you were the first person I was intimate with. You were my first love.
I also tried to be all those things for you, but I just didn't feel adequate. You were wonderful and I was sub-parr. You never made me feel that way. It was self imposed I know, but it was there. It lurked in the back if my mind and eventually lead me to break your heart. I'm truly sorry for that, but I was convinced that there was someone else out there for you and I both.
So I went on to college and had my fun....
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I always thought it was me; I was the reason you left. Even though I blamed myself, I still waited for you. I waited to see if maybe, just maybe, you would pull into my driveway and apologize for all the lost time. You never did. Instead you fooled me. You made me come looking for you. Once I found you, I found out how you really were. You manipulated me. You hurt me. You hurt my siblings. You torn us apart just so YOU could be "happy." You left a hole in my heart, that nobody can ever heal. You made me believe that you were a good person, but in the end, you were just another member of Satan's clan. Instead of you being there, my siblings, friends, and parents of friends had to fill in your place and try to take your position because you were too lazy to step up to the plate of...
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Dear U KNOW WHO U R,
I thought I would write you this letter mainly for the reason to see if I could make any sense of the last year’s events and find some answers to my endless line of questions. Having found out a couple of days before Christmas that I have been living a lie for over a year I feel the need to blame someone, and I choose you. By writing this this open letter I want to liberate myself from you. There is also something very comforting in knowing that your pain is shared.
What was it? What did you try to do? Was it to relive your youth, experience a bit of excitement on the side? Was your life boring? Grown up children leaving the nest, perhaps no sex with your wedded half? I bet you didn’t include him in the aftermath, just went back to your comfortable life, leaving...
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Ex:1 We were in six grade when we dated. We do not talk anymore.
Ex: 2 Your my boyfriend now. I hate myself for it... You only want my happiness but I don't love you.
Ex: 3 Our relationship was a joke. Nothing good came out of it and nothing bad did either.
Ex:4 You hurt me.... Bad. Your the reason my family moved away from town. Your the reason I wanted to give up.
Ex: 5 I will always hold a place for you in my heart. I carried our daughter for nine months and she's the best thing in my life. I don't think I could forgive you for what you said to me and about me. I dont know if you were lying then.... Or now. I miss you. My current boyfriend wants to fill your spot as a boyfriend and father. I will not let him and I hate him for it. Your young so you don't understand. I will always...
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Dear love,
I can still imagine you in my room when i sit here alone, even when I have company all I'm thinking about is you. How your laugh brightened my days and how your lips toke my breath away. How we could talk for hours and id never get tired of it. How when I held your hands, it just felt perfect. Your small hands that disappeared underneath mine, you always joked about how silly it was but i loved it. How your body felt pressed against mine when i held you close. And how now all i have from that is memories. Some good, some bad. But to me the good out weighed the bad tenfold.
I blame myself for our falling out. I had my issues that i needed to fix but I thought I could push it away and that being with you would fix me. It felt that way. Every kiss saved me. Every touch made...
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5 Years ago today...
I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. My stomach was in knots, I felt like I was going to vomit and my stress level was maxed out. Between the decorations, the rehearsal, the dresses, hair.... and the fact that I had gained weight and my dress didn't fit properly anymore definitely didn't help things. I remember being to the point of tears by the time the night was over. I remember everyone reassuring me that the details didn't matter because I was still going to be married to the love of my life by the end of the next day. They were right! (I thought)...
I remember lying in bed that night, still stressing, thinking of all of the things that we still had to do, what time I had to be at the church the next morning. "Did I tell everyone what time to...
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