Family

Hi Vince, This virus crap still has me trapped in New York which is the last place I want to be right now. In fact I really thought that by now we’d be playing some tennis together every day and catching up on each other’s lives. Buy I guess mom wants you to forget about me. I suppose forgetting about me and all the stress my legal problems created fro her is a convenient way to deal with things if she found a new guy to take my place or if she’s being threatened again by the American government goons. Either way I can understand Vince, but it does not solve the problem of our family separation. You are my treasured and cherished son and from the day you were born, you were someone quite special. Let me explain… First of all, you made sure we would never forget your arrival. You had...
38
To the mom who can’t stop thinking about the baby she lost, I'm sorry. I’m sorry that your arms are empty when they should be holding a little baby. Perhaps the hardest part of the miscarriage is the weeks and months later when every day feels like it could’ve been a milestone in that little angel’s life. Would they have taken their first steps today? Said their first word? I’m sorry that you won’t get to find out. I’m sorry that every time you pass that room in your home, you hear silence instead of laughter. Hell, I’m sure you’d even be happy to hear crying; anything that resembles life would be better than this deadly silence. I’m sorry that you had to hear all of the cliche phrases: “It happens for a reason” or “This was meant to be.” Sure, it might not have been time...
90
Today is March 12, 2020 Vince and I just mailed you letter 23 since I got back to America last August. I have not heard back from you so I'm thinking maybe someone is taking your mail because you were never a lazy kid. I sent you a few photographs and a poem I want you to read to your mom and another for grandma for me. I am really worried about you buddy so please give me a call or send me your telephone number to AppaDiMarco {at} yahoo.com and I will call you. I tried to call you at JMS but nobody ever answers the phone! (Always Voicemail). Anyway, this is my favorite photo that is on the back of my bedroom door and when I was in China all those years it resided in the center of my refrigerator door. Coaching your Little League baseball team was a lot of fun for me buddy - how about...
93
Hi Vince, Going through our family photos this one here reminded me of how such little things made us both so happy. If you remember this day, it was the day you finally got to do what Mom and Emo would never let you do because they didn't what you to "get your hands dirty". You filled up the tank on our Audi and then we went to race go-karts at Square 1, and it was the first time you drove your own cart instead of sitting on my lap as mom always insisted. As usual, you had no fear, and put the gas pedal down all the way (even on the turns) and smoked me to the finish line by three cart lenghts. I will never forget how happy you were that day. You told every one that "I beat Appa by 15 feet at the track today!". You must have reminded me about that historic event at least ten times...
157
Mama tried. To get you to see things for yourself instead of chasing this false reality you have created. Everyone is so unfair to you! No one should tell you anything! You poor child. People need to stop keeping you from living your life! Mama tried. To make you see the terrible choices you were making. The addiction we all saw coming fast and loud. It never mattered who you had to run over or who you had to betray, you did it, and you were merely a victim! Mama tried. To make you understand decisions you make now do matter in the future. How’s college going? No family, friends that will party with you, but don’t care about the hole that is left inside of you that no amount of sex, drugs, or booze will ever fill. Those children that looked up to you now see you as a role model...
286
Hello my little Boo Boo! – This is Appa, your real father writing to you to let you know that I did finally make it to the border of Canada in time for Christmas to bring you the electric rainbow I promised you. But mom said you are retarded and didn’t remember me any more. I don’t believe that because the last time we spoke on the phone, you told me you loved me five or six times and you said “Appa come home”. Dylan, I am coming home, one way or another so I can hug you every day, take you to school and to play in the park every day on the playground with your friends. I know you want to show them that you also have a real daddy who loves and misses you very much. I know you are a very special little boy Dylan and that is I why I love you even more. I want to be there to protect...
146
Hi Vince, how are you? I was hoping to hear back from you by now, but I guess someone is still taking your mail that I sent you. Maybe someone who knows you in Toronto will see this message and the others, and will tell you so we can share some memories on the phone and catch up with each other’s lives. As I explained in my first message, I didn’t leave home because I wanted to, but only because I had to in order to keep our family safe, and alive. Anyway, I was going through the only 35 family photos I have and this one is of the two of us under the “Happy Tree” as you called it. Here you are at just 11 months of age, with both of us doing our favorite thing. I enjoyed this daily routine as much as you did because your giggles and laughter were contagious Vince. Your vocabulary...
209
My dear son Vincent, I apologize for having to communicate with you publicly like this, but as you know, someone has blocked your email and skype account and I just realized the telephone number your mother gave me for your mobile phone is not actually yours and most probably belongs to your aunt. That explains mom's voicemail on your phone every time I was able to call. Until we can establish some reliable and private and secure channel of communication,(preferably on Signal which is encrypted end to end), please check this website for messages and I will try to get a friend of mine in Toronto to deliver you copies of things you need to see buddy. Once we have a connection, I will delete this and any other message I have to send publicly here and on naver.com or reddit at r/...
275
Tag – I’m it! Waking up on our birthday last year to one of the most moving letters I have ever received was a gift of immeasurable love. Throughout this year, I have looked back on the words you wrote in times of celebration and happiness, as well as in times of doubt or sadness. I oftentimes read it when I am missing you and wishing we were together… That said, I thought I would take a turn! Happy Birthday to you my 3 minutes older identical twin sister. You may have entered this world first but I wasn’t about to let you stay there long without me right by your side. You see, right by your side is where I was gifted to be 44 years ago and is where I pray to be for as long as possible. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without a twin sister like you. You are incredibly...
309
I honestly don’t even know how to start this. When I was 6 months old you left my dad and because of that he left to. I was placed in my grandparents home and have lived there ever since. My father came back into the picture when I was 8 but he was never my father after that. You went off and got pregnant by another man and had another daughter. You also went and married another man and had a son as well. Over the years I had to contact you to to hear about anything happening in your life. You didn’t even come to my wedding even though I called and told you about it months before it happened. When I had my first child you came a month after and stayed a week which made me hopeful. But of course you disappointed me yet again. He is now 5 and you have seen him maybe 3 times. You also have...
455

Pages