To anyone about to read this.. Why do we not talk about friend breakups?! I feel as though they are worse than an actual relationship. I don't know about you, but I've never felt this way before.
A few months back, up until now, I was working on this card for someone who was once very important to me. The same week I was going to give it to her, she remained posting negatively about me and from there, I realized maybe it is a loss cause.
~You never apologized for hurting me but, I've apologized multiple times for being angry about it..~
Why is that?
But whatever. I get it. You're still human.
Life happens and a series of a unfortunate events transpired between us and I wish that wasn't so. If I could change the outcome of all that became, I would. I would start from the...
Broken Hearts
Thank you for making me feel worthless.
Thank you for never giving me a reason that you left.
Thank you for ignoring me when I wanted answers.
Thank you for leaving and never saying goodbye.
I deserved your abandoning me.
I deserved to stay up crying every night for months.
I deserved to question my self worth
...because I finally found myself.
Because of you, I realized my own self worth.
I realized I deserve more than you could give me.
I realized I can be independent.
I realized I can make my own happiness.
I realized I can make memories without you by my side.
I realized that life goes on.
I realized that I'm OK.
As a typically private person, I never thought I would share my thoughts on this past year publicly.
What I thought was the worst year of my life,...
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As I sit here in the wake of another failed relationship, I can't help but wonder if my fear of abandonment and deep rooted lack of trust are born out of the child that you left standing on the porch without ever looking back.
You have never been available when I needed you: always putting yourself first and giving the rest of us the scraps. You taught me that there is no such thing as unconditional love... I had to earn your time, your attention, through expressions of admiration and idolization. You only gave to me when it suited you: when you wanted to pretend to be the man you profess you are.
The tales you weave of being a single parent, the hardships you pretend to have faced in 'caring' for us. None of it is anywhere near my truth. You have never sacrificed for your...
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Dearest Love,
We have known each other for a while now and I would like to believe that we both have respect towards each other. But it seems as if I am incredibly wrong, you don't respect and I'm not sure if you ever did. You ignore me in every way until you need or want something, I'm just convenient for you. I ask myself many times throughout the day "why am I still with him? And why is he still with me when he sees uninterested?" Well the answer is obvious, I am still with you because I truly do love you and you're still with me because I do everything for you.
You see, things were never like this until recently. You used to hang on to every word I said along with doing as much as you could for me or helping me with things. I'm not sure what happened to make it all change and...
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Hello Dii!
You have a wonderful smile and a magnetic voice. Had I not been so deeply mystified by your sister, you would have been my cynosure and not her. I write these pleasantries to you only hoping that you do not confuse my compliments for flattery.
And I write to you for you have demeaned my hopes and faith in you, in ways beyond repair.
You don't know me well, but trust me when I say I share equal excitement and joy for her wedding tomorrow. My heart overflows with constant well-wishes and small prayers, and it has been so for some time now - I believe you would relate to this.
Even I have had random outbursts of tears in the past few days, just like you did the other day, and like you would do tomorrow.
One of the reasons for my tears is for the fact that she will...
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You'll almost certainly never read this, but I need to write it anyway. For myself. For my own mental well-being.
The first time I saw you, a few days after I had started the job, it was like those cheesy movies I never took seriously. Everything around you faded for a moment and I could have sworn you were glowing. My world was rocked. I already had an amazing boyfriend, and for 3 years up until that point, no guy had made me question the relationship even a little bit. I really couldn't complain, it was nearly a textbook-perfect relationship. And then, I saw you.
My next thought was, "He's probably an ass anyway." And so, I avoided you accordingly.
I kept that thought at the forefront of my mind for as long as I could, despite moments of weakness some nights where I'd look up...
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Today I read an article about the things teens are scared of their parents finding out. Their fears were things like being bullied via social media, the stress they are under in terms of school and grades, their daily lives and pressures they feel are trying to drown them. This article got me thinking about what things are going on in my own life that I am constantly trying protect my parents from.
You see, I am a twenty-one year old college student. I have moved out of my parents house and I’m (for the most part) financially self-sufficient. I’m a full time student, a junior, at a state university. I work part time. I’m a mentor and an active volunteer in the community. I have some of the greatest friends I could ever ask for. And yet, I hide so many pieces of my life from my parents...
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Dear U KNOW WHO YOU R,
So, four months down the line from the Discovery Day and a month and a bit since publishing my first letter to you I decided to re-read it. Retrospectively, I can see there were a lot of anger, bitterness and hurt in me, not surprising though. I was a bit naive and emotional and raw, asking endless questions and blaming you for everything. Your reasons for having an affair with my husband are only known to you and I have no desire to find them out anymore.
At the time it felt easier to put the blame on you because if I blamed him I would have hated him to the point of no return. I was not ready to do this, as deep down I still loved him and couldn’t imagine my life without him. But now I understand that you did not make him do anything he didn’t want to do,...
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Dear U KNOW WHO YOU R,
So, four months down from the Discovery Day and a month and a half after publishing my first letter to you I decided to re-read it. Retrospectively, I can see there were a lot of anger, bitterness and hurt in me, not surprising though. I was a bit naive and emotional and raw, asking endless questions and blaming you for everything. Your reasons for having an affair with my husband are only known to you and I have no desire to find them out anymore.
At the time it felt easier to blame everything on you because if I blamed him I would have hated him to the point of no return. I was not ready to do this, as deep down I still loved him and was not prepared to let him go. But now I understand that you did not make him do anything, he chose to be unfaithful and...
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There is no emptier feeling then the feeling of loving someone who will never love you back.
I gave you my heart and soul but that wasn’t enough for you. Nothing I do will ever be enough.
No guy before you made me feel the way you did. You gave me a sense of comfort that I had never felt before. It was as though we had known each other for a lifetime. You knew my insecurities and flaws and you accepted them. You accepted me. You made me feel wanted.
You told me I was beautiful. You made me feel like I was special; like I was different from all the other girls before me. You made me believe that you actually cared about me. You made me promises of a future. You said all the right things at the right time. I was naive then. I believed all of your empty promises. I think that deep down...
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