Family

From the moment I told you I was pregnant, I knew we were done. I knew you didn’t want this and left me pregnant and alone. I finished up high school without anyone knowing I was depressed or pregnant! Ever since MY child was born, I’d always push for you to be in his life. I moved different states to make it easy for you, I didn’t take child support or ask you for a dime for him. All I asked was your time. For you to get to know him. You only did that when you wanted to impress one of your MANY 3 week hookups. You played father of the year and made me look like a bad person. Your whole family knew what an ass you were but nothing was ever said. When you met you now wife, she claims she’s been in my son’s life since he was one, NEGATIVE. You blew our son off for her. A 17 year old girl,...
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Dear the one I love the most, Let me start off by saying that since you've been gone, I have learned a lot. Everyday I wake up and I feel myself becoming a better person, I have you to thank for that. Nothing will ever take the pain away though. I will live the rest of my life having a missing piece in my heart. That piece is in heaven right with you. I will have that piece back someday. I know you are waiting for me too. After your death I started looking at life so differently. Words Hurt. Some things people say really puzzle me. One inconsiderate comment I hear within the whispers in the classroom run through my head all day. After your suicide I learned to bit my tongue more than I ever thought was capable. It isn’t easy but I know that not everyone is mature enough to...
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In India we always see our mothers waking up early doing all the chores and listing to everything doing everything for dadis fufas and buas and if she ever said anything she was tagged as a bad bahu with bad values which she gained from her parental side. And all of this continues people think by modernizing clothes they have modernized their thinking also but that is not true. now i got married to a man with whom i was in love with. I thought this a perfect life which anyone can get but it was not because i was in a Indian society. My judgement was started with namaste that she only passes smile and does not say namaste. I thought this was my mistake and tried to rectified it my husband is controlled by my mother in law and sister in law. My sister in law's son stayed with us a n...
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Dear Parker, I am writing you because you are set to arrive shortly. We are yet to meet, but I want you to know that I already love you so much. Despite feeling uneasy about your arrival and not knowing exactly how my life will change, I still feel as if you are my single most greatest accomplishment in life. I am more than ready to finally get to meet you. I am not going to lie, I am ill-prepared for you but I promise I am a fast learner. I know you will change me for the better and I am thankful for that. There are so many “firsts” that we will experience together and I am so excited to be a father-son duo. The first time I hold you, I just know that you will light up my eyes. There will be your first crawl, your first steps, your first words, and that’s just the beginning for you...
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This is coming from the heartbroken girl you "raised". You chose a dog over me dad, I am now mentally, emotionally and physically scared by your dog, which you had no business in having, he's aggressive, and I'm not to blame for it, no matter how many times you drill it into my head. You always tell me to take responsibility for my actions, but your hypocrisy is not for me. I never beat the dog, never wrestled the dog and made it attack, I never made it so he couldn't walk dad. I think the dog represents me in a way. But he hurt me, and it's still my fault I guess. As my mother and I stay with my grandparents I lie awake in bed every night thinking how you never loved me and never will, you aren't my dad, you're the man who convinced me. You help my mother by emotionally abusing her,...
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I wish we could talk. I wish I could look at a picture of you and not feel anger. I'm trying to better my life this year and so far this is how it's gone: -Quit smoking ( My own way ) -A month away from finishing school. ( Grad date late Feb. ) -Studying for the test I need to take to get my license. ( In Mar. ) -Cleaned out everything I had in the basement. -Finished organizing and cleaning my room. ( I can walk in it ) -Currently doing laundry that I've neglected for months. -Got a boyfriend and he's more than I could have ever asked for. ( 4 months ) -I have a friend group now that I can confide in, laugh with, and supports me. And as far as my other goals besides getting the car, a full time job, and moving out. I also want to lose weight when I get a steady...
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You know, its midnight and i have been up for an hour now just bawling my eyes out. Why? Because why do i even try anymore? Why do i still try to joke around with you when all i get is a glare? Why do i try to start a normal every day plain ol conversation with you when you ignore me and dont respond to the simplest questions? Why do i find myself deciding whether or not you even LIKE me let alone love me? You are confused in so many aspects of our relationship. The problem is that i have become a family-oriented-powerhouse of a mother and a problem solver, and i still have time to cook and clean the house and be with our kids. And quite honestly, i think that scares you more than your fear of me being unfaithful. I dont have any reason to be unfaithful, because i dont need anyone else in...
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Mom- I've put off writing this for a while. Partly, because I have the attention span of a goldfish, but mostly because I couldn't even begin to put into words how much you mean to me. How could I possibly sum up 24 years of unconditional love and constant support in a few paragraphs? I guess I'll give it a try.. You know, one thing I've learned to be true in this life is that parenthood is certainly not for everyone. There are so many people who should 100% just not be responsible for another human. In the wise words of Lorelai Gilmore, "Mr. and Mrs. Hitler for example. The Bin Ladens could have watched TV that night. Richard and Emily might have taken a pass at procreating." But, another thing I know to be true is that you were put on this Earth to be a Mother. It is not lost on me...
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I remember what it was like to live in a trailer park with a deadbeat, alcoholic, abusive, and lazy father and a mother who worked three jobs just to feed me. And I remember you, my mom, saving money so that we could afford a deal house. When he - my biological father- left, saying he found another woman, you told me you'd never let it happen again; you said you would keep me happy and safe forever. Now years down the road, I'm huddled into a ball in my bedroom. I've cried so much that I can't cry anymore. I can't remember the last time you told me that you loved me, or even the last time you hugged me. Every heartbreak has a story, though. You used to be my best friend. We would do everything together. When you weren't working you would pick me up from my grandmother's house and we...
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To the next man I love, I hope to find you soon. There are just some things I think you should know. I will love you with all of my heart. I will appreciate you, comfort you, support you, and care for you. I am a single mother, and I don't mean that as I'm a mother that is not in a romantic relationship. I am a single mother that has no help from my son's father. Of course it wasn't always this way though. He was around for the whole pregnancy, he was there everyday for about a year after our son was born. But, he never was really there for our son. Physically there? Yes. Mentally and emotionally there? No. I will be difficult to love. So just a heads up, you have your work cut out for you. But that's not because I'm irrational, bicker with you, or anything. I'm hard to love...
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