Dear Oakley,
When you take the opportunity to read this someday, you will know that you are receiving my last open letter that I will ever write because you are my final child. I hope you really enjoy what I was feeling about your welcoming when this was written. I hope that we can eventually have a laugh together to see how right or wrong I was when I wrote this for you.
At this point, I am a seasoned veteran as a father. I have the dad thing down, but I know I have much to learn with you being my first and only daughter. I have been forewarned that little girls always have their dad wrapped around their little finger. I am so ready to find out if this is true when I meet you. I promise to protect you, but hopefully not be too overprotective. The one thing I can guarantee is...
Family
In these days of social media, female empowerment, and successful women, I wonder: where is that empowered, beautiful, and put-together woman inside of me? I feel like I lost her the day I became a mother, and don't get me wrong, I love my son with all my heart. It's been six years, and I still hadn't found those facets that were so me before I became a mother. It's hard to find yourself exhausted one day, wanting to be present for your child and your job, the one you fought so hard for, the role you yearned for. One day, anxiety, depression, lack of "tribe," and lack of good motherly love win you over, not for my son but for myself.
I found myself face to face with pain, incomprehension, trauma, and the whip of the judge who I thought would be my best ally in this journey: my mother....
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My best friend plays poker with her dad. A school friend's dad woke her up to watch the northern lights together. I hear people talk about things they've done with their fathers, I see snippets of other people's lives with their dads, full of smiles and laughter and good times. With you, I have only regrets and bad memories.
They say you only get one family. That's not entirely true - I know people with divorced parents that have two mums and two dads. But yes, I only have one family. I'm honestly happy that it is that way. I don't want a family. I don't want to be around you. I don't want to celebrate Christmas with you, I don't want to celebrate New Years with you, I don't want to celebrate Easter with you. You taught me that family is a hassle, a bother, an annoyance.
You taught...
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Just a note of thanks that you are like you are, that you have given me two beautiful grandchildren, who I love dearly.
Thanks you for seeing me as I am now and not as I was when you were growing up.
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My childhood was not really nice. Didn't get beat or anything but the verbal abuse from my father was something that I though was normal. Years later, when I was a single mum with you, I did somethings better but also abused you verbally. Motherhood overwhelmed me.
Now I am almost 70 and after my father died in 88 I still had the feeling that I wanted to tell him what he was responsible for in my life - eating disorder, depression, feeling worthless. As for my mum I couldn't understand why she did not protect me from him. And when I tried to talk to her about it she always avoided the subject. I developed a grudge.
Therapy brought some relief, but basically it was only when I realized that both of my parent, born 1928 and 1929, had their own past with my fathers father being a...
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At the time I did not think much about the fact that you did not ask me to come when you went wedding dress shopping. You went with your best friend.
It is only since I sometimes watch those shows about brides in the shops choosing theirs and their mum being there with tears in their eyes because they see how beautiful their daughter is, that I am sad about me not being there when you were out buying your dress.
You now have a daughter yourself, who at 8 told me that I can come when she chooses her wedding dress.
I have no doubt that she will want you there too. That will save you the sadness that you could not anticipate by me not being there.
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Another year has gone by and I have still not contacted you. The last time we saw each other was when Matilda started school and we all were out to lunch.
There had been a few situations that really irritated me about your attitude towards me and my life and I guess your comments on the fire in our town where foreigners were targeted and my comment that I am not doing anything about this got us into the situation again where you could not understand my standpoint of living in a small town with conservative people opposed to you living in Berlin, a very diverse and tolerant BIG city.
After this I decided that I will not let myself get irritated by you anymore, which means having as little to do with you as possible.
Do you remember a few years ago when we went away for a few...
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Dear Future Adopting Parents,
Having a child is a great endeavor and opens the door to a new way of life, but for many people getting a child through traditional means isn’t very easy or even possible, and for these cases, there are alternative family planning methods. These people tend to go for one of two popular methods: In vitro fertilization (IVF) or adoption. With adoption, parents have the choice of either foster care, independent agencies, international, etc, to adopt a child that lacks a permanent family. I write this to help you consider and ease your decision of adopting a child to give them a forever home. Adoption has many benefits for parents and especially the children, giving them a much-needed intimate connection, as well as saving money for the parents compared to...
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SabLem is a portmanteau, which involves blending parts of two names to form a new name. In Pop culture, we have (or used to have) Brangelina.
The disgraceful, SabLem has carved a hole in my heart. It is carved so deep that I do not think I would ever be able to erase it. It is the name blend that my husband and his mistress had formed to celebrate their despicable and inappropriate “friendship” behind my back.
To Sab, the mistress,
I’m giving you the courtesy of not naming you fully.
I do not know where to begin. Millions of years have gone by and yet humanity has no definite answer about why a woman would lower herself to get involved with a married man, especially when he has young children. There is no answer on how she can become SO heartless especially when the...
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Happy birthday, Mom,
Hope you have been well. Your mother says that you’re still being a total b*tch to her. I don’t really know anything about your dynamic. I just like filing information away. This is probably not the best way to start a letter ...
Your youngest seems to be thriving! She got that boss lady tat down her spine and appears well adjusted: Healthy body image, healthy lifestyle, good school, good grades, grounded yet optimistic outlook on life. Looks like you did a great job, and she’s been doing a wonderful job too. Though, it’s not really my place to judge your parenting (or anything about you really).
Came across an open letter site (what an interesting genre). Thought about posting there. Really, I secretly wanted to find a letter from you (or someone I...
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