Family

Dear Dad, Please hear me. I look at you in admiration. I see my dad who taught me how to ride a bike. I see my dad who used to make me cry out in laughter when he’d be a crazy driver or make that goofy laugh. I see my dad who guided me down the right path and who was so quick to reroute and forgive me when I strayed. I see my dad whose intelligence I could only strive for. That is what is so confusing to me; you gave me your smarts, you taught me the meaning of benevolence (both literally and practically), and you showed me that I can achieve anything. But to teach something, you must know it first yourself right? So how is my dad so blind and helpless to the man that has taken over? I look at that man who is awoken with alcohol with despise. I see a man who cares of no...

When I was 7, you told me, likely in a frustrated moment “you don’t need to tell me everything about your day, just give me the highlights.” And my fragile 7 year old self took that to heart. It also was said to me several more times over the years. But as I got older, you also told me “You never tell me anything. You keep your life such a secret.” How am I supposed to know what you want to hear when you told me throughout most of my life that you “wanted just the highlights” … makes total sense. It’s been almost one whole year since we have spoken. I’m sure you aren’t too phased by this though, as your mother had gone a year without speaking to you before. You’re sure I’ll come around, because you always did with your mother. But this is different. I’m no longer going to be the one...

Dear Dad, I have spent the best part of my life, the last 13 years to be exact, afraid. Afraid of receiving a phone call, a text message, of walking into work and finding out from a stranger (again) or scroll on my Facebook news feed and see a post alerting me to you having had another heart attack, or worse, your death. I couldn’t see a missed call from you on my phone screen without having a fully-fledged panic attack, no matter where I was or who I was with. It got to the point that anyone even mentioning your name sent my heart into overdrive. My mental and physical health, as I’m sure you are aware, have suffered greatly. I spent my teen and early adult years suffering with depression and anxiety, something that only during last year I had begun to recover from. On October 11th...

To the Turpin children: You may not know who I am, but I have been praying for you the moment I heard your names. The world may have moved on, but your story is just beginning. I know because I have been there. I have been in a place where I did not know how to move forward and begin my life much later than I should have. I know that this is just the beginning on a road to a happier and brighter future, and I know while some days may seem like a struggle to get through, each day brings with it a new sense of hope. It will slowly get easier, and one day without even knowing it, you will be the person you always wanted to be. I know there may be does you will be plagued with the question of “why?” Why did this happen? Why me? Why? And while you may never have the answers you...