Hi Vince, how are you?
I was hoping to hear back from you by now, but I guess someone is still taking your mail that I sent you. Maybe someone who knows you in Toronto will see this message and the others, and will tell you so we can share some memories on the phone and catch up with each other’s lives. As I explained in my first message, I didn’t leave home because I wanted to, but only because I had to in order to keep our family safe, and alive.
Anyway, I was going through the only 35 family photos I have and this one is of the two of us under the “Happy Tree” as you called it. Here you are at just 11 months of age, with both of us doing our favorite thing. I enjoyed this daily routine as much as you did because your giggles and laughter were contagious Vince. Your vocabulary was quite limited 20 years ago, but every day when I came home from work you pointed out the living room window to the back yard swing and jumped up and down on the sofa chanting “Happy Tree, Happy Tree”!
We would then spend the next hour of our lives together under the Happy Tree as I would sing your Name Song to and you just laughed and giggled non-stop. If I tried to take a rest you were not very happy and would shout two of the few words you knew very well “More Appa More!” and I would have to resume my favorite task in life – being your father.
You had no fear of heights, and as you turned, two and then three years-old, you demanded that I push you higher and higher as you tried to grab a handful of bright pink cherry blossoms from the lowest tree branches. Your Aunt hated this tree and would almost have a heart attack as she saw you reaching for the flowers instead of holding onto the ropes. She really wanted to beat me but she did not understand how snugly you were locked into that seat with the safety bar. She threatened to have the tree cut down if I kept pushing you so high. But by age three you told her “I’m the boss of Appa – not you” and our fun continued. You had to have your swing time every single day, and got really upset if it was raining, and once brought me an umbrella!But by age four you had already grown too big for the Happy Tree and by then we found even more fun things to do together… bicycle riding, swimming, mini-golf, and computer games!
The first time we went to the swimming pool together, you scared the hell out of your mom, probably because she herself didn’t know how to swim. You saw all the other kids having fun in the water and you just ran and jumped right in! Mom screamed at me to save you and although I dove in after you, you didn’t need any saving! You were paddling around with a big smile on your face – laughing. Mom insisted that I carry you down to the shallow end of the pool, but even there your feet were still six inches from the bottom. Thank God Aunt Emo wasn’t there or she would have killed me for sure.
The most amazing thing about you in those days Vince was that you never ran out of energy. You were like the Energizer bunny rabbit. You just kept on going and going and going! You made sure I slept well every night. But after mom would fall asleep, you would come over to my side of the bed, shake me and then ask “Appa are you awake?” Once I woke up and said “yes, now I am”, you would pull me out of bed so we could sneak out to your computer and play “combat” or “Halo” with the volume turned off. But after we got caught by your aunt, she snitched us out to mom and the next time we went for some wee morning fun, the power cord was missing, and we found a sticky note that simply said “Go back to bed!”.
At this point in my life I was trying to organize organ donations for the 800+ Iraqi kids destined to die from injuries they sustained from American "smart bombs" that weren't. This did not sit well with President Bush and PM Harper who made sure the children did not get medical visas to come to Toronto for the surgeries that doctors offered to donate. We were getting plenty of military vets willing to donate organs and bone marrow after I went on a BBC talk show. You can read what happened here https://whyunclesamhatesbruce.blogspot.com Actually those 800 kids were the lucky ones, because over 2,000 Iraqi kids died in those wars launched upon false pretenses in an oil grab attempt.https://www.opnlttr.com/letter/heartless-stephen-harper-letss-iraqi-chil....
It was about this time that we had a family meeting and we informed everyone, that you were “the man of the house” whenever I was gone and you were given the honorary title of “Commander” at age 5 after playing a little too much “Battleship” on the computer. At first, we all laughed and went along with all of the “commands” you gave us when you stood at attention and pointed your finger at mom, me, your aunt, or Grandma and say “I command you to bring me some juice”. I caught a lot of grief for that and had to step in as the “Admiral” and “order” you to insert the words “Please” and “Thank You”., and you diligently obeyed saying “Please I command you to …… Thank You!”
Then one day I took you through the automatic car wash for your very first time, and you were absolutely amazed and convinced there were robots washing our car! For the next two years you insisted on being notified whenever I went to the car wash - you would tag along with me, and you carefully examined every aspect of that machine. By age 6 you explained it all perfectly to me about how “sensors” told the “pumps” and “conveyor” when to start and stop. You were so curious about that car wash that you looked it up on the internet and figured it all out on your own. I was really proud of you buddy. I still am today.
Your biggest love as a child was trains Vince. I don’t know if you remember or not, but after I took you on the Polar Express (an old steam engine) that took us to “The North Pole” to meet Santa –something I had to do so you would not figure out it was me you saw every Christmas putting gifts under the tree every Christmas morning at 2 am. After that train ride you were fascinated with trains and you would play over an hour every day building your Thomas the Train tracks, and within 6 months you had progressed to an electric train set that took up our entire living room floor, and finally you mastered the Microsoft Train Simulator Software used to train real train conductors. By age 7 you learned to drive every train ever made from the old steam locomotives to diesel trains to the newest bullet trains. You never failed to amaze me Vince.
Of course, I will never forget your “secrets” which you told me at least once a day. I think you did the same with mom when I wasn’t looking. You’d say “Appa, I want to tell you a secret." I’d say go ahead, but you would never say it out loud. You’d make me bend over so you could cup your hands over my ear and say “I love you Appa”. I remember you once did it after mom and I had an argument (about something stupid as usual) and I wanted to cry, but I hugged you instead and I told you that “I love you even more.” The next day however, the “I love you War” broke out if you remember, Every time mom or Emo heard me say “I love you Vince”, Your aunt or mom would say “I love you more”, and then I would have to say, “Yeah but I love you super heavy-duty big much” and mom would respond “But I love you extra super heavy duty big much” and we’d go back and forth with a growing profession of love with over a dozen adjectives until someone ran out of words. Of course you loved to hear all this and you would finally tell Emo “I love you the most.” But as soon as she would hug and kiss you, you’d say “But I love mommy moster” and Mom would grin ear to ear. But then you’d run over and hug me and say “But I love Appa the mostest!” I never heard sweeter words in my life buddy.
Today as I am stuck 500 miles away from you, I’d be happy just to hear your voice again and give you a hug. Over all these years I never stopped loving you, and missing you more than the mind I am losing now. Never in my life did I think anyone would want to keep us separated, for any reason. Mom always had a tiny mean streak in her that I had grown used to, but she was never ever selfish with me. That's why I was so shocked onChristmas Even she told me to "stay away". As I told you in my last letter, I still do not know if mom was threatened again by the American agents, or if she just grew lonely and found someone else, or was just angry and frustrated over all the problems and pressure my legal problems created for her.
Until I was forced out of Canada by the American government, we had a fun life together Vince and when that old Judge Weinstein in New York dismissed all the phony charges against me (EDNY case no. 07-CR-608) and I came home, mom and I hugged each other for 15 minutes, thinking our nightmare was finally over and we could get back to growing our family. She wanted so bad to have a matching daughter to be your sister, and I tried my best to make her wish come true.
But the crooked, corrupt agents I had reported for smuggling drugs and torturing people and Cheney’s insider trading and all the secret Panama bank accounts of 87 U.S. officials, had other plans for me buddy. They had to get me convicted of something so nobody would believe what I saw and knew about them. What did they do? Read my book manuscripts, or if you want the short version just go here https://opnlttr.com/search/node/gorcyca.
All that time apart in China I did not know for 3 years that they were blocking my emails and calls to you and mom. Even though they refused to renew my passport so I could not return to North America (where I could testify against them), I tried six different ways to come home as I told you in my last message.
In my desperation to come home, I found a human trafficking ring, actually three of them in Fujian Province (South China). I just assumed they were operated by the Chinese, but I was shocked to discover that although most of the ring’s employees were Chinese, the owners were American, Russian, and Canadian and they even had a rep working inside the U.S. embassy in Beijing. For $50,000 they offered to bring me home to Canada in a shipping container with around 50 pregnant women who wanted their children to be born in Canada so they could be Canadian citizens. Canada is a great country Vince. Their coalition governments are less corrupt and more money trickles down to the people that are actually cared about. Anyway, I made the RCMP aware of this trafficking matter Vince, but I was told that the American government would not allow them to “take any action”. When I tell you why you will be shocked. But I will save that story for another day. Aside from trying to come home, this is what else I was doing in China, until I was finally kidnapped by the FBI without a warrant https://brucegorcycainchina.home.blog/.
Hey Vince, did mom ever tell you that I took her to her first Broadway play, her first Major League Baseball game, and her first ski trip? And that camping trip we took together was another first for both of you. Do you remember how mom thought all the noise outside was a hungry bear and when we shined a flashlight out the window we saw over a hundred pairs of spooky red eyes - of raccoons?!? Our poor dog Bruno exhausted himself trying to protect from those determined critters. I also gave mom her first Halloween in Ohio, and that was the day we got married buddy. She dressed up as an angel complete with wings and and a halo, and of course I was the devil with some fake horns that looked so real. Ask her to see the photos. My mom was still alive back then and she and mom got along like as if they were schoolmates for years. Your Grandmother was so excited to hear she was going to have a grandson, and she prepared to spoil you rotten. Unfortunately Vince, she died just three months before you were born.
Right now, please just know that I miss and love you more than all the adjectives I could ever find in Webster’s dictionary, and I still hope that I can teach you how to play chess, ride a motorcycle, deep sea fish, skydive, and scuba dive. I don’t think I ever told you but I am a PADI Scuba instructor and used to have a water sports business in Puerto Rico after I got out of the military. I guess there may a lot of stories waiting to be shared with you. My dad never shared many stories with me when I was a kid Vince. I ended up hearing them from others after he died. I don’t want that to happen with us buddy.
Most of all I want to hear YOUR high school stories and about your friends, and the first girl you kissed and what you have in mind for your future. Whatever you choose to do with your life, I will support you 100% if I am allowed. No matter what mom wants or thinks, you will always be my beloved son until my last breath. Right now, mom has something very valuable that belongs to all of us, and the sooner she decides to share it, the sooner we can all be a normal family again. I cannot be angry with her for wanting a problem-free life, but please make her understand that I had no idea those evil, wicked, corrupt agents would make our entire family suffer just to shut me up. They promised to leave us alone if I didn’t publish my book. I kept my word, but they didn’t keep their’s.
All my love forever - Appa
P.S. If you received my other messages, please contact me on Signal at 646-X34-5X17. The first X is the month your were born, and the second X is the month your brother was born. This is a disposable number and I will get a new number after we make contact buddy. You can also send me and email at [email protected], but keep in mind the government guys will be monitoring it. I hope you see this message soon. I have something to give you that has been in our family for more than 100 years buddy. Even if others make it impossible for us to be together, a part of me will always be with you.