Since I was a child, nobody wants me, nobody needs me and most especially, nobody loves me. If you'll tell me 'how about your family. For sure they love you', then sorry to break you thoughts but they don't. The only person that loved me, left me. My dad. He is my only bestfriend and a hero but unfortunately, he died.
During my elementary years, my parents, specifically my mom wants to abort me. (Amazing right.) They don't want me in this world. They don't want me in their lives. But because of my Dad, I got a chance to see a beautiful world. When I heard their story, that's where my anxiety and depression starts. Every time they will scold me for no reason, I was thinking of killing my self. (Note: this happened when I was still a child) You know, I already have my suicidal thoughts...
Family
Mom,
I’m so glad you’ve finally found yourself again. Put the missing pieces of your mind back together, letting the crazy diminish after years of being on a mental “vacation.” I’m glad you’re back because I missed you, I missed the mom that did cartwheels down the soccer field after I scored the goals required usually winning us the game. I missed the mom who wore those god awful, themed vests to parties at school to show her support and excitement for her daughters. I missed the mom who felt like my mom and not my rebellious teenage daughter. I know you’re probably confused with what I’m saying, you were and remain oblivious to what was going on so I’m going to try and explain.
The car accident really took its toll on your mind, bruising parts of you that we all loved stripping you...
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I don’t remember a time before you and Mum divorced. I do, however, remember you introducing me to the woman who would eventually become your new wife. It was only a few months after you left our family home that you brought along this new, super keen woman. When you are young your gut is very keen and the feeling I got was pure and instant dislike. She was all over me. Forcing it. Pushing you. Pushing me. Never openly of course. Subtly and in a soft and calm voice. So subtly it would take another 25 years for it to all come to a head. Her control. Your submission. You didn’t like that I didn’t like her. You turned off all your care and love for me and left me high and dry. It would probably have been better if you had actually absented yourself. Instead, I got to see you in body and...
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On October 26th 2018 I took an overdose of paracetamol, I was having drinks with my friends, they passed out and I just kept drinking and popping tablet after tablet...
How did I get there?
For as long as I can remember I haven't been a happy person,
If you met me you wouldn't believe it.
I am a middle child, my sisters never liked me, a distant memory is my eldest sister holding a knife to my head. I don't remember how we got there or our age but it happened.
I don't live with both sisters now just the eldest and honestly I feel like she doesn't want me living here and is just set out to make me feel as uncomfortable as possible with her horrible and spiteful comments.
My youngest isn't much better, she fell pregnant in 2017 and gave birth in 2018, during that time she...
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Hey Dad,
Wow, were coming up on 13 years since you died, but if were being realistic, you died way before 13 years ago.
You may have not died physically before then, but mentality, spiritually, and most importantly, emotionally, you were long gone before 2006.
And WOW, that's the first time I've ever actually said that other than in my head, and you know what, I guess, that's a big thing for me; for me to say that out loud and all.
It took me a lot to even begin this letter. I've tried time...
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Dear girl,
You have no idea what you put your parents through. Nights of illness, stress, and worry don’t seem to mean a thing to you. We loved you and supported you. We sought treatment for your mental health issues and poured massive amounts of time and money into getting you the help you need. We have been over and over things in our mind and we have come to the conclusion this isn’t our fault, just as many people have told us.
People are stopping by at all hours of the day bringing food and support as though someone has died. You know what? Maybe someone did. The girl who cared so much for her family and was so grateful to be taken out of a horrible situation. The girl who shared movie nights, inside jokes, and vacations. The girl who was a beautiful hard working person who seemed...
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Dear (cough) Mother, or woman who gave birth to me,
I want to write this letter to tell you how much you have hurt me over the past. I will start with saying I hated being the youngest child, and the only Daughter, as I lived in the shadows of your perfect golden boys! I was constantly bullied by them, called a fat pig, and they assisted you when you put me on a diet at age seven.
I cannot remember a time when you held me close, or kissed me or encouraged me, you were always cold and uncaring. you never asked me about school or my aspirations, just got on with your life with your new husband and baby who subsequently became the golden daughter, who you molly cuddled. But the worst part was when you and my so called paedophile of a Father divorced, and I was sent to him at...
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An open letter to my kids,
“My kids are growing up and I’m missing it.”
This is the main thought running through my mind every single day lately. As parents we do our best to make sure you guys are home with one of us, always. This means working opposite shifts. Daddy is on steady day shifts. Mommy is on steady afternoon shifts. We have different days off and we do it because it’s what works for our family. But let me tell you something, I miss you. I miss you more than you can imagine.
Mornings of chaos are what I live for right now. When I wake you for school and beg you to get your butts out of bed to get ready. The moments when I repeat your names for what feels like the 100th time in five minutes. The moments when I run around gathering school uniforms and preparing...
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To whom it may concern,
A few times throughout my life I was asked to express my hardships and the obstacles I’ve been asked to jump over the course of my 17 year old life. I brainstormed things like my big brother leaving me for college, my parents divorce, the loss of my grandfather due to a heart condition, breast cancer taking away my grandmother or even addiction taking over my cousins body. However, one thing seemed to stand out more than others. Now some say I have it lucky, my father is still in the picture, while other children do not have any idea who their father is. I would’t call it luck, far from it actually. My father may make an appearance in the perfect picture I have drawn of my life, however, the garden snake seems to be a more accurate drawing of him than his...
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Oh no.
A letter from "the crazy daughter that hates us"
That's all I am to the man that you guys call father. That's all I am to all of you.
Maybe I can take you guys on a trip down memory lane. Maybe you'll understand my pain.
I scroll through my time line and come across pictures of my "dad" at chuck E cheeses, with kids who aren't even his.
You say I feel jealousy, I say I feel hurt. I feel sadness. Ask him when he ever took me, or my brother.
I see you guys living in a HUGE, nice house. Care to know where I lived?
My brother and I lived in a bug infested duplex, sleeping on a mattress on the floor.
Now don't take this wrong, my mom tried. She tried damn hard. She had nobody though. We made do, while I watch you live in luxery.
I see that my dad takes you...
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