You Bastard!

Dear the ex-boyfriends who are now best friends We thought we never would have to say this. That you were the only ones for us and that you actually loved us. Can you believe that? We actually thought you loved us. You were the perfect boyfriends, well to the people around us,but we knew different. We knew the way you thought and we were fools to believe that we could change you. We knew who you were the past you had but we ignored that and it would of been nice to have actually been treated differently. You don't think we know but we do. We know you were talking to other girls and cheating on us but we didn't say anything and you know why? Because for some reason we actually loved you. We wanted to be with you and we wanted you to be with us. We know. We know you; the way you act...
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A thank you To the guy who thought he broke me: Thank you..... Thank you for breaking my heart Thank you for cheating on me and hiding it for so long Thank you for leaving me out of the blue Thank you for leaving me with questions unanswered Thank you for making me come to terms with reality THANK YOU!!!! There is this saying that "if you lose someone, but find yourself, you won" At this point I am proud to say that I have won Well here we are months after I thought life would not carry on. At the time I thought you were the only one who could make me happy, and make life fun. I have come to learn that I am beautiful girl with an even more beautiful heart. I never ever deserved to be treated and dogged up the way you did to me. You did me wrong, but I have come to...
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Today while checking Facebook I saw you show up in the people I might know area. Your name brought back all these awful feelings. That self loathing and distorted body image I still have as a constant reminder that our paths ever crossed. Since we were both small children you would taunt me, tell others to ignore me, belittle me, and call me things I'd rather continue to try forgetting. You made me lose hope in the world. I remember high school when you'd call me ugly every day as I walked by. I remember you joking about raping me to my brother. I remember you making my life hell. I doubt you remember though. I doubt you care. But here's the thing... I never gave up like you thought I would. I never stopped being a geek. Looking at you now I feel sorry for you. I hear people...
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You came... I never expected that. That was just a simple invitation. Yet you did came. That was no accident, I believe. We started talking... those talks became an every-night-conversation. We shared stories. We shared moments. We shared lives. We even made a vow to be open to each other. No secrets. Sounds silly right? We created that kind of friendship that was established well. We even made it to the point that we talk about us. You made it clear that we can only be friends. I'm cool with that. What could I ask more? I want you to stay so even if it means only being a friend to you, I will grab it. Days... weeks... months passed. I can't help it. I'm falling. I'm really aware that you will never catch me but I let myself believe that it's really fine. I never told you about what I...
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A thank you To the guy who thought he broke me: Thank you..... Thank you for breaking my heart Thank you for cheating on me and hiding it for so long Thank you for leaving me out of the blue Thank you for leaving me with questions unanswered Thank you for making me come to terms with reality THANK YOU!!!! There is this saying that "if you lose someone, but find yourself, you won" At this point I am proud to say that I have won Well here we are months after I thought life would not carry on. At the time I thought you were the only one who could make me happy, and make life fun. I have come to learn that I am beautiful girl with an even more beautiful heart. I never ever deserved to be treated and dogged up the way you did to me. You did me wrong, but I have come...
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Men were asked “Why do you fear women?” and they answered “Because we are afraid they will laugh at us.” Women were asked “Why do you fear men?” and they answered “Because we are afraid they will kill us.” I am a survivor of “sexual assault” as people are so politely phrasing it now days. Sexual Assault…what does that actually mean? What that really means for me is that I have been kidnapped, gang raped and sodomized by three men. What that means is that l I have been incested by a relative. What that means is as a child, when I would go to visit my friend; her pedophile father would sit across the table from me and try to force me to touch him. What that means is that when I would walk home from visiting my friend, and another equally frightening and creepy neighborhood...
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Okay, real talk here. I'm sure you're a very nice person. But stop looking at me every time the racial wealth gap is mentioned. Seriously. Because when you look at me, the rest of the class looks at me, and I hate that. The racial wage gap doesn't even affect me or my family. Both of my parents are in well paying jobs. It's the gender wage gap that affects me, and, well, that hasn't come up yet. If it did, at least not everyone in the entire room would be looking specifically at me. I'm not an exotic beauty from foreign lands, ok? I'm a second gen half-Pinoy girl who's never even left America. No, I dont say prayers in other languages, and if I'm speaking another language around you it probably means that I'm cussing you out for being racist. Actually, there's a second person I'd like...
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It's been three years and here I am still trying to convince myself I'm happy. Asking myself everyday when I'll give another man the time of day because I'm deathly afraid of them thanks to you. I want to thank you for showing me how easily trust can be broken, also for showing me the person who was supposed to protect me could so easily fail me, and that I'm the only person who can truly protect me. I endured three painful years of physical and emotional abuse. Every no I screamed, every punch, every slap, every push, every bruise, and every scar I've suffered from your hands has made me who I am today. Every tear I cried made me stronger than I could have ever imagined. I so vividly remember that night and the clothes I was wearing, you didn't even let me get through the door...
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You always did have a problem with hearing "no". You were entitled and you had to get what you wanted. I just ignored the red flags like I always do because I like to see the good in people but it has never backfired like this. It was the summer I was 16. I had been with my girlfriend (who I still think was amazing) for two years, I had the best group of friends that I could ever ask for, and I was staying with my sweet grandma because she needed a little extra help being taken care of. I did have a history with depression but my life was going great at that moment in time. Then one night changed everything. You wanted to hang out so I asked my grandma and she decided to go to my aunts to give us some room because it wasn't a huge apartment. I don't remember what else happened that...
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Dear Dad, Fuck you. Your psychological, emotional, and verbal abuse has haunted me everyday since I last spoke to you 3 years ago. You have permanently altered how I perceive myself. I'm sorry I'm not skinny and fit. I'm sorry I get excited about eating good food. I'm sorry that you feel like I have failed you as a daughter. Though you won't admit it, I know you are thinking it. Thank you though for letting me know how disgusted you were by my body weight. We all can't have a gymnast's body forever. "Lose 15 pounds if you want a sweet sixteen and you can't invite black people. Wait how much do you weigh? 140? Jesus Christ. Ok maybe 20 pounds." Not only was that racist comment utterly sickening, but thanks for saying all of that really loudly in the crowded JC Penney's while...
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