You Bastard!

Divorce is like death….the death of the person you love the most. You feel their absence acutely. It brings with it the added bonus, however, of excruciating guilt and/or the agony of rejection because you either chose this or it was chosen for you. There’s a constant battle with indecision and regret…you’re always second guessing yourself because you feel like you could take it all back if you really wanted to. You could have prevented it if you were only just a little more perfect. Everything could go back to how it used to be and the pain could all disappear if only... Imagine that; mourning the death of a loved one, wondering if you should try to bring them back…..but knowing you can’t, or you shouldn’t, even though deep down you really want to. Just because you handle life on...
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You know who you are, I just want you to know that dating you was the biggest mistake I have ever made, no joke! You was totally my rebound and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. You used to stare at my ass when you would walk home behind me, which was oddly enough creepy but not as creepy as me finding your Facebook, knowing it was you; but yet asking if it was you. Anyways, I thought whatever he seems cool, he's friends with my cousin so sure let's be friends. No, no, no. Two days later, also two days after my boyfriend dumped me, you was texting me and knew something was wrong so you came over on your stupid little mini bike. Well, I thought hm. He seems really nice to make sure I'm okay. But then...BOOM. You asked me if I wanted to go see the graffiti train (the...
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Dear Him, When you assaulted me in 2004, I felt nothing but confusion, fear, worry and most of all shame. Shame at myself for not fighting back harder. I had no idea what was going on, no idea why it was happening, no idea why it was happening to me - out of the billions of people on this earth, why did it have to be me? Ever since that day, I kept that secret. I continued to be friends with your daughter, she was my best friend. She was feeling so sad and I couldn't let your actions destroy my friendship with my best friend. Even though she did punch me in the mouth at school, when I asked her if she was okay, or when she dug her nails into my arm because she was angry. I forgave her every time, most likely because I was gullible. The years went by and the secret stayed...
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You are in my dreams as if I know you; Like I've seen your face before. It's hazy but definitely recognizable. Like the dark cloud that's always in the corner of my eye. I could feel you there, I could smell you but I could not see you. If feels as though, perhaps you know me as well, For you have faintly whispered my name again and again. Yet, we have never met. I've heard about you in real life, I'm almost certain you've heard about me; not that it's a small town but we've had friends in common before and you know, people talk. I've heard how amazing you are and how good you make people feel, you might have heard the same about me! Which is why it's beyond me as to why we've never met. Still here I am fighting another sleepless night with intermittent dreams of you. Your wonderful,...
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To the man that walked away, I have for so long thought about contacting you again, but every time I have gotten close to it one thought goes through my head; you chose to walk away. First I do feel it necessary to tell you thank you because you have given me my son, a beautiful son that I would give everything and do anything for but, that is the only gratitude or even slightly good feeling I have toward you. I next want you to know that with every part of my being I hate you and not only as man but a person in general I am so mad at you for leaving not just me but him too, he did nothing to deserve to be left without a dad and you didn't care about anyone else except yourself I don't care that our relationship was over you didn't have to walk away from him. The thing that makes me...
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We've all seen it, or had some experience with a girl dating a guy who won't leave. She shares how awful and miserable the relationship is and frequently says how she wants to leave him, yet, she stays. One day I googled "signs of abusive relationships". There was an article listing 13 signs, and my face turned bright red as I realized that I experienced each and everyone of those signs. So my story begins. On December 21, 2012, my life changed forever. The date 12/21/12 was noted by the Mayans as the date the world would end. I remember watching news anchors covering the story as nothing happened. Little did I know, the world itself wasn't going to end, but it was my own world that would come very close. Now onto you, you sick low life bastard. Before you, I was an...
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I blocked your number and blocked you on facebook because of everything that happened. I also unfriended your girlfriend about a week after it all went down. I'm still not sure what is going on in your head, but you need help, and I hope you're getting it. We met working together at a retail store, unpacking boxes. I thought you were a cool guy. You eventually found me on facebook, claiming to have been searching for my cousin of the same last name that graduated with you. We got a chance to hang out a couple of times, and eventually we started to text each other as well. Your texts, however, started to only come late at night. You claimed it was because you work nights at a broadcasting station. I had insomnia, so it was fine. Yet I also noticed you starting to text me only when...
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It's been 4 years. 4 years I've struggled to look at my reflection in the mirror, 4 years I've flinched when someone accidentally brushes past my skin and that I've slept with my light on for fear of waking up in a cold sweat sobbing at the image of you that is forever ingrained in my mind. What you don't know is that I had already spent the majority of my adult life struggling to feel "good enough". It took you only 5 hours to rip that away from me. In hindsight, I can see you were looking for someone just like me werent you? Someone with low self esteem, that you could break? I was too blind to see that you groomed me, even as an adult.. You seen I was weak and you manipulated me, we weren't strangers. You knew me and you knew how to break me, that if you kept pushing me I'd stop...
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25 Aug 2016 Equality law requires that those providing services HAVE A DUTY to make reasonable adjustments for disabled service users. To fail to do so is discriminatory. See the enclosed print out. I must thank you for your repeated refusal to knock on my door so I can 1)hear you knock 2)have sufficient time to walk from my bed -it's too painful to sit or stand- not that it's any of your fucking business- to my front door - all EIGHT FEET of the distance. "put a bell" you say. There IS a bell at the ground floor entrance. Right next to where you tie up your trolley. TRY FUCKING USING IT. I cannot put an additional bell on the stairs as it will invite further abuse and harassment from neighbours and their visitors. I AM NOT DEAF - far from it I am...
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Dear U The other day I was reminded how the crazy-making begun. You wonder what I'm talking about, as always. If we had this conversation instead of me writing this letter, you'd not only blame me for everything (that's a given, everything and I mean EVERYTHING was always and I mean ALWAYS my fault) but you'd have no recollection, none whatsoever of what I am talking about. Every time I tried talking to you about us, our relationship and the problems we had, you had no idea what I was talking about. Couldn't remember anything. Told me, whatever I was talking about was nonsense plus it never happened. Laughed about me. Oh, the energy I invested in trying to make you talk to me. A proper conversation. For once. Make you listen. Make you remember. It was so frustrating, I can still...
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