You Bastard!

Dear Reader, Now if you are the reader I wish to speak to, then you have a very specific outlook on life and how you feel things and activities should be gone about. Concepts, that people easily relate and respond to may become social norms, and they in turn become an instruction booklet to some in a sense, a foundation to build judgement and expectations on. If you are who I expect you to be, you should mostly align with this, for it will impact your day to day decisions and mannerisms. I say this for I am exactly as I have described, but after reading the novel Women in White, I have done much self-reflecting upon my day to day life. For example, I’m a big person when it comes to first impressions. They affect the way I view anything. I still go back to my impressions of...
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I haven't decided if I am going to send this email yet but if you're reading it, it's because I have given in to my compulsion to say exactly what I'm thinking and I know how much you like that about me... It's been eleven weeks since I got back from New York, four weeks since my abortion and only four weeks since you sent me a message telling me that you still love and miss me. More importantly though... It has been just a few days since you took your wedding ring off under the table in Gullivers hoping I hadn't noticed it. Silly really, isn't it? When you'd clearly put it back on to make a statement in the first place. Except you'll tell yourself you put it on, not to make statement, but because you're a good married man now who is making the right choices and behaving the way a...
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How could you? How could you tell me you love me, and that you care about me, but just leave? Just like that. You couldn't even wait 2 hours before talking to another girl. You're a fucking player. 3 strikes I'm out. I sacrificed 2 friendships for you! You promised you weren't leaving...everytime...and everytime you leave, you come back, and my dumb ass takes you Why? Because I loved you so much it hurts! How can you tell a girl you love them, look them in they eyes….kiss them…and not mean any of it. If you truly meant it, you wouldn’t fuck me over every godddamn time! I told you if you did it again I was done, guess what? I’m fucking done! Do you even remember the date we first started talking? Probably not…February 27, 2016…I thought I found the one I’d marry,,,,I thought we’d make...
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(Date Omitted) Dear Step-Mother-In-Law, Since neither you or your husband "have the balls" (your words to MY husband) to contact me, I have decided to reach out to you about your history of disrespect and trespasses. I am taking the initiative right now, to inform you of where you stand with my family and I. I understand that you and your husband are intimidated because I am a strong woman. I do not adhere to a dated, subservient view of women as a fawning and submissive species whose sole purpose is to cater to men. When you and I first met, you really liked my strong personality and the fact I do not tolerate disrespect towards me or my loved ones. I never judged your relationship with your husband, as we have vast cultural differences and initially you were supportive of me as...
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B, I have to tell you that I never thought that this would be us ... never thought that we would be the two on opposite sides ... never thought that we would be apart for any more than what the job or our life made us be apart ... you were my world you were the one person that no matter what was always supposed to be there through the good ..the bad .. the everything ... I don't know why you have done these things to me I don't know why you fought sixteen years just to end up at square one ... You ran ... when I finally exposed your lies and addictions in black and white ... When I could finally prove that I wasn't crazy ... all the lies to our daughters ... The lies you told to "our" friends ... Lies that you told your "good" friend who was quick to fill me in on how I was made out to...
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Through every lie (the ones I did know about, and the ones I did not), I still loved you. I thought we shared something so special and so real, while you used me only for an ego stroke, your personal kinks and purely for sex. You said one thing and did another; and then you played the victim when I asked questions or expected to be treated with care. You knowingly lied, used your only child in those lies, and then allowed me to be the one to beg you for forgiveness for my expectations. I would've done anything for you...and I did... so how could you possibly be so heartless. It is beyond my comprehension and has been a hurt like no other. As soon as you no longer needed me, I was treated like a nuisance and the real you became evident. I know about every lie. You really are terrible at it...
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Have you ever felt someone grip your arm so tightly, you panic that it's going to bruise? Have you ever had your jaw grabbed so firmly that your teeth cut into your cheeks? Just because you tried to argue back, defend yourself. Have you ever been shoved into a wall hard enough that it makes your back sting? Have you ever had someone get so in your face that you can feel the heat of their breath on your skin, the moisture coming off their tongue? Have you ever lost all your friends because they force you to make them the only one in your life? Have you ever just laid there on your back, waiting for them to be done using your body for the sixth time that day? Have you ever screamed for them to stop in your head, but were too scared to tell them no? Have you ever been raped? Have...
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I need to write this letter Because I'm happy now and nobody likes it when you bring up the past. Not my past. I need to write this because you're in prison now. You're in prison because you tried to kill your wife. You strangled her almost to death. A woman who so easily could have been me. Only a year and a half ago. I need to write this because you thought it would be okay to call me from jail even though we hadn't spoken in over a year. Maybe you thought I'd bail you out like last time, and the time before that. But those times were different. This time I don't love you. And it's not me that you hurt. So I dont get to decide that you're not guilty. I need to write this because you thought that I'd pay a whole three dollars to hear your voice from...
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An Open Letter to My Abuser Did you know that today I stood in a very long line at my local bookstore, and had an anxiety attack because there were men behind me in line? Did you know that everything you did would have that long of an effect? Did you think that nearly 3 years later I would still feel pain because of you? I am willing to bet that you didn’t, I have battled you every day since the night that you decided to hold me hostage and rape me at knife point. Although I don’t have to battle you physically, I must battle you mentally for the rest of my so called “worthless” life. I have tried so many times to forgive you because I know that is the right thing to do, and I have so many times before, but every time I go to the next isle in a store because there are too many men in...
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To the man that molested me: You molested me when I was 4 or 5 years old and I repressed those memories for over 25 years. For 8 months, I have remembered everything you have done to me. When I close my eyes, I see the dresser right in front of the bed when I felt your penis in my butt. I see your sister lying on the bed beside me fast asleep. I can feel your ejaculate on the top of my butt checks. I can smell your sweat in the room. I can hear my dad calling your name and I can feel the comforter on the bed. It was white. These memories and flashbacks have come back in various intensities over the last few months, but they are still present with me every single fucking day. This happened 25 years ago, but the impact is still strong and it has changed my life. The thought of...
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