Broken Hearts

Ok, so this story starts two years ago from now. I fell in love with the most perfect person, The love of my life and even now when its done and over looking back I cant say we were ever unhappy or that I would of ever in a million years would of seen this coming. We had the perfect love story but sadly tragedy felt like it was right around the corner for us as I was due to be leaving for university and after many talks and tears we were not willing to give each other up. Our love for each other was so strong that nothing could change that. We planned to be apart for that one year as he was due to go to university the following year which I had even found a course in the neighbouring city which he thought was perfect for him and despite whatever odds we did it. We talked everyday,...
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It's okay, I promise. I love a drug addict, and there is nothing I can do about it. The mental abuse, the tearing down, the heartbreak, and the love that you don't want to destroy... I get it. I was in a relationship with him for 4 years. On and off, he was doing Heroin... the big bad drug. He was destroying himself. And it was destroying me. I love him. I loved him. I don't know him. I love him when he is sober. I love him when he is high. I don't know the difference anymore. A relapse here, a relapse there... Every relapse was found with the mental abuse. He tore me open, prodded at every wound. I can't leave him like this... I can't stay with him like this... He's killing himself... He's killing me... I have always cared about people more than I cared...
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Dear Dad, Unlike most letters, this one lacks a destination. It seems to have gotten lost somewhere in between the tall bud light in your left hand and the bottle of grey goose in your right. So I’ll write it in hopes that one day I do find out where I should send it. I hope you’re not as bothered by all of this as I am. I wouldn’t wish an ache like this on my worst enemy. If I’m in a quiet space and close my eyes tight enough, I can almost remember the overjoyed, filled with eagerness attitude I had upon your arrival. Saturdays were my favorite day of the week. I suppose that Saturday is a lot of people’s favorite day of the week but I have a unique reason for it. Saturday is the one day of the week I get to dedicate to having fun with my best friend, Dad. It was always “we can...
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An open letter to the women, who didn't even give me the chance. I hope your well, truly, I hold no hate, or anger against you, people tell me it's "their loss"... But is it really? You had nothing to lose, nor did I... But it feels like a loss. Maybe I'm just a sappy pathetic, hopeless romantic.... Why even try anymore? Why put myself through my hope being crushed, for when I know what awaits me.... Nothing, loneliness. One of the truest, yet falsely things said in today's' world is, "you can't love another without loving yourself".. "You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy" while all that is true, it's also false... What are you to do when you miss the companionship of a female? I miss the passion, I miss the trips, the sight seeing, the special moments, I miss the...
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We've always been close, you and I. Well, really, about since the time I was twelve, I suppose. You've always followed me around, breathing down my neck, just waiting for me to mess something up. I wish I could just live my life without you. It hurts so much when I'm trying and you sit behind me, eating your popcorn, telling me that I am not trying hard enough. You make me scared. I spend my days worrying, "Will I go to college?" "If I get accepted to college, will I be able to pay for it?" "My friend told me she wants to kill herself, but she says that all the time, and nothing ever comes of it. How do we know if this time is just a threat or not?" "Am I really okay, or am I just supposed to be okay?" I hate that you make me question everything. I even doubt myself. It's obvious...
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You see I still can't sleep at night. I've been in a lot of depression lately and you're still in my mind. I know I shouldn't be writing this but I can't help it. In some ways I think this is one of the things I should do to forget you. It has been months since I saw you, yet I still can't forget you're face. I think I just love you enough for me to never forget you and kills me every time I remember how things used to be.
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Allow me to write about you before letting you go. I write about YOU every day—from the game we first met, the day you miraculously accepted my friend and follow requests, the day we exchanged smiles and so many little moments we shared but “only I can remember”, “only I know”. People like me nowadays are rare and may sound weird and old school but yes, I write about you every day. In a notebook. With exact dates and places. Right after the 8th of June, you became one of the few who had strengthened my belief on how amazing God’s timing is—knowing that in a huge university, roads and paths would still cross even in the hallways or in the library. To me, you are one of the evidences left in this world proving how perfect God’s timing is. That is why I sacrificed so many words for...
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I’m not mad at you. I don’t hate you. I hate your actions and what you did to me. The anger and hate are out of my system and they have been for over 6 months. Sometimes I miss you, but then I slap myself in the face and realize that I miss the idea of you and I miss the things we used to do, but I sure as hell don’t miss you. There are things you may not know. There are songs that remind me of you and I can’t stop listening to them because it’s like they were written for me about you. Articles about love, hate, missing someone, and regret- all reminders of the past. You did me wrong, there is no way around it. You even admit it. “You deserve better than this”, “I fucked you up so bad”. Yeah, I do and yeah, you did. I question everything. There is someone new in my life. The words he...
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Dear Mum, I just wanted to say how much I miss you and how much I love you. I think of all the heartache this illness has caused, all the upset anger and pain, but not knowing if you know how much you are loved hurts the most. I want to say sorry. I am so sorry for how alone you must have felt in the beginnings of this illness. We didn’t know and didn’t understand what was going on either. I feel so guilty about the way I treated you at times, but please know my anger only came from being so frustrated at losing the person I love the most in this world. This is in no way an excuse, but I know if you were well and you you’d understand the times I got angry, shouted or walked away. I think of these moments every day and wish I could have known what was really going on. But we couldn’t...
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Dear, Women I know not all men are bad or good. Some are in the area of "grey". I read everything that you send no matter what. The times that you say to no longer talk to you. I respect it an I do not, even if I find myself wanting to send just that one message. You think that were bad for each other because we disagree an argue a lot. That isn't nessisarely a bad thing. Considering the fact that were "polar" opposites from one another. It's something that should not come to a surprise. However the fact that I "keep" you on your toes "should" be a good thing. You seem to believe that I do not love you at all. That I only love or "like the idea of you". As much as I disagree because I know in my heart. That I do actually love you that it is true. Now if I only "liked" the "idea...
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