It's been more two years. Two years since you left me for another. And yet I'm here, taking care of our two year old who doesn't even know she has a dad. I cry almost every night, wondering what I did wrong to make you leave me while I was 6 months pregnant. Wondering, if we found out I was having a boy, would you have stayed? I know you really wanted a boy. I cry, thinking what did our daughter do to deserve this? It's been more than two years... And I can't stop thinking about it. About you. I suffer from depression and anxiety now. I work three jobs and haven't gone out on a real date in two years. I take care of my girl. I do what I have to in order to survive. I can't believe after all this time, your still on my mind.
You broke me to the point I KNOW I'll never be the same.
You broke me to the point I sometimes feel like I can't do anything right.
You broke me to the point that if I'm having a bad day, and I drop something, I start crying because it just shows I can't even hold a cup of water without screwing up.
On my worst days, it hurts to even look at our daughter because she has your eyes.
On my best days I cry myself to sleep after I get off of a 14 hour shift, them come home to wrestle my toddler to bed.
Now you are trying to be there for our child. And I'm glad she may someday get to know you. But you HAVE to know this is hard. You broke me.
I'll always be broken, but she comes first.
I'll always be broken, but I learned a valuable lesson.
Sometimes you gotta put on a fake smile to get through the day.
Jared Padalecki has taught me to ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING. And always keep fighting I will. You may have broken me, but I'm Fighting to see another day. I'm fighting to be a mom and a dad.
But I will thank you. By breaking me, I can say I've built myself up to be the strongest I can be when it comes to life. I'm stronger than I thought I was.
Thank you for breaking me. Maybe this gave you a chance to grow up and be the best Man you can be.
