Preface: I have thoroughly considered the potential consequences of publishing this open letter. I expect that some of my family members may judge me harshly; they may attempt to guilt me or may even decide to cut off contact with me forever after reading it, and that’s OK. Everyone is entitled to their feelings and emotions! My personal, most heartfelt desire is for peace and healing in my own life. My goal is to weed out negativity and drama and leave toxic relationships behind.
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Mom,
I’m not sure if you will ever read this; but if it happens to find you, I am almost certain that you will not care at all. So, I am writing this letter for me, and for anyone like me, who feels like they are a broken shell of a person desperately trying to...
Broken Hearts
Remember when we were messing around with that old video camera I found in my room? “Are we going to show this at our wedding?!” “We have to! Hi family…!” “Here let me record you.” I found those discs, but the camera doesn’t work anymore. I thank that camera for breaking. Maybe it knew I shouldn't look at those recordings. Not because it would make me miss you, but because it would make me even more angry. And yes, I am certainly still angry. I think that’s why I’m writing this. I really don’t want to be angry about this anymore. It’s been years, it may even seem longer to you, but I remember the moment you broke my heart like it was an hour ago.
God I was so excited to come home from work that day that I was actually giddy, smiling as I walked through my door. Stupid....
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There are millions of people in this world, but in the end it all comes down to one. I know that there's something beautiful in my imperfections; the beauty that you held up for me to see. This is the reason I can never shake you.
I don't know what I did to ever deserve you, even if for only a short while... You always handled all my flaws and "weirdness" with an open mind... I remember the beautiful way you always looked at me, like you knew the depth of my soul from day one...As time went on my insecurities and anxiety began to show, but you still chose to love me anyway...After that things began to change I felt different I wanted space and time i wasnt ready to let you in let you see the mess I truly was .. I began to imagine how my life would be without you I began to go out and...
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He and I grew up together. We were raised by our grandma together while our parents were gone. We had some of the best times growing up. When he had to move away, it was probably one of the saddest times in a five-year-old’s life.
When he moved back nine years later. Everything changed. It took an adjustment period, but we started getting really close. I helped him and his parents move into their new house. We helped our grandparents move into their new house out in the country. We started taking walks and talking about his life back in Maryland. We talked about music and video games. He’s the reason for my love of music. He got me interested in video games. He is or was one of the most influential people in who I am today.
After we got closer, we were inseparable. We played games...
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It's been a year since we ended. I don't know what happened. To this day i still don't know what went wrong. I'm doing better. I don't know if you care, but I got my life together. I got myself back together. I'd be lying if i said i don't miss us, because i do. But i saw your Facebook, and i can see you moved on, and i know i have to as well. I think we were right but we did it wrong. At first i was a fantasy, it was paradise. But then, we just found that we couldn't make sense. You said we'd still be friends, but i knew that wouldn't happen. I understand that you've moved on, but you didn't have to cut me off. You can't pretend it never happened, because it did. We were a thing. I loved you and you loved me. At least i think you did. I saw you the other day, with your new girlfriend. I...
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To My Abuser,
I was so young when you touched me in places that, at the time, I wasn't even old enough to know that they were private and sexual places on my body. All I knew was that something was deeply wrong.
All day you came up with excuses for touching me like for example, my underwear were showing. I kept my distance the rest of the day. I didn't want you touching me...
That night, my friends and I thought it would be so much fun to camp out in a tent in the backyard. Our parents said yes because after all, what could possibly happen 10 steps away from them. What could happen just in the backyard. A lot, a lot can happen and it did. My whole life changed that night. I was molested.
You came into the tent and took my friends place beside me. Did you even know how...
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I know this has been said a million times in a million different ways, but I can’t seem to break the cliche. I’m sorry for hating you when I see him smile like he used to. And I’m sorry for tearing you down in my head when I think about you touching his skin. My heart hasn’t completely learned to accept the fact that he took his heart away from me yet and I don't know how long it will be until it does. But, it knows that he has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen and I’d do anything to see it again; even if it means letting go. I don’t want you to view me as a jealous ex because we were friends before I fell in love the way I hope you have, and if you make him happy, I will love you too.
I’d like to tell you a few things. He’s terrified of spiders, there is no way you can expect him...
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To My Ex Love J: I've hated you for the last year and a half, I have so much hate for you that I can't move on with my life, I can't get passed the heart ache I feel every day. My life for 10 years was always about you and your happiness. I don't even know how to live my life without you, I don't know what to do without you, some days I'm just on auto pilot hoping one day I'll wake up and see who I'm really meant to be.
I hate you more than I've ever wanted to hate anyone in my entire life. You used me for 10 years and made me a promise you'd always be my best friend, that we would get married, start a family and love each other, but one day you change, I just kind of delta with the adjustments, you would tell me it's normal to be out all night with your friends and because I was...
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To the man who was too broken to love me:
I'm so sorry that we didn't meet sooner. I was 18 and still in a relationship that I was fooling myself into believing would work despite the distance and the opposite college schedules. Please don't think I never noticed you. I did, but I always pushed the thought out of my head. When my previous relationship became too toxic, you were there. Not in the days that followed, but in the weeks that followed. I think there's something to be said about those who are broken. They're the ones who try to fix others. I want to thank you for that. I always want to apologize for not being able to meet you sooner, to prevent you from being so broken that you could not let yourself love me. I wish I could remove the pain your ex-girlfriends' caused. I never...
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We started as chatmates at a certain dating site, we chat a lot everyday but I never knew that he will play the biggest part in my life. That time I'm broken, or could be perfectly define as LOST! Yes! Im lost because of a guy who made me feel a totally worthless creature, but then this guy came (the one Im describibg in my title) he's first message in the dating site was "oh! I think I won't sleep today because I saw an agellic face in you", he caught my attention coz of his OA message, I msged him back but the first chatting session was just short since we have 7 hrs gap coz his in nigeria and I am in the Philippines (but were both Filipino). Since Im broken I tried to keep myself busy, then I realized that we were chatting regularly ( btw we are in a relationship in just 3 days of...
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