Broken Hearts

Allow me to write about you before letting you go. I write about YOU every day—from the game we first met, the day you miraculously accepted my friend and follow requests, the day we exchanged smiles and so many little moments we shared but “only I can remember”, “only I know”. People like me nowadays are rare and may sound weird and old school but yes, I write about you every day. In a notebook. With exact dates and places. Right after the 8th of June, you became one of the few who had strengthened my belief on how amazing God’s timing is—knowing that in a huge university, roads and paths would still cross even in the hallways or in the library. To me, you are one of the evidences left in this world proving how perfect God’s timing is. That is why I sacrificed so many words for...
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I’m not mad at you. I don’t hate you. I hate your actions and what you did to me. The anger and hate are out of my system and they have been for over 6 months. Sometimes I miss you, but then I slap myself in the face and realize that I miss the idea of you and I miss the things we used to do, but I sure as hell don’t miss you. There are things you may not know. There are songs that remind me of you and I can’t stop listening to them because it’s like they were written for me about you. Articles about love, hate, missing someone, and regret- all reminders of the past. You did me wrong, there is no way around it. You even admit it. “You deserve better than this”, “I fucked you up so bad”. Yeah, I do and yeah, you did. I question everything. There is someone new in my life. The words he...
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Dear Mum, I just wanted to say how much I miss you and how much I love you. I think of all the heartache this illness has caused, all the upset anger and pain, but not knowing if you know how much you are loved hurts the most. I want to say sorry. I am so sorry for how alone you must have felt in the beginnings of this illness. We didn’t know and didn’t understand what was going on either. I feel so guilty about the way I treated you at times, but please know my anger only came from being so frustrated at losing the person I love the most in this world. This is in no way an excuse, but I know if you were well and you you’d understand the times I got angry, shouted or walked away. I think of these moments every day and wish I could have known what was really going on. But we couldn’t...
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Dear, Women I know not all men are bad or good. Some are in the area of "grey". I read everything that you send no matter what. The times that you say to no longer talk to you. I respect it an I do not, even if I find myself wanting to send just that one message. You think that were bad for each other because we disagree an argue a lot. That isn't nessisarely a bad thing. Considering the fact that were "polar" opposites from one another. It's something that should not come to a surprise. However the fact that I "keep" you on your toes "should" be a good thing. You seem to believe that I do not love you at all. That I only love or "like the idea of you". As much as I disagree because I know in my heart. That I do actually love you that it is true. Now if I only "liked" the "idea...
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Hello, I've got a feeling that there's something more, something that holds us together. Its the strangest feeling but i cant be sure. I think about you a lot almost everyday of the week for the past two years now. Its rare a day goes by without you ever crossing my mind in some way shape or form and i just thought id let you know that i thought about you today. And i thought about the things you used to say. And i thought about the things we did. And i thought about you living with your boyfriend now. oh what do i do now? I always though that we would be together. I wish i could tell you how i really feel inside, that you're the perfect woman for me but you like a certain type of guys, and its clear that i'm not that guy. I wish i knew what i know now back in the day when we were...
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Hi, It has been 52 days since we last spoke. Well, since I yelled at you. These past couple of months have been quite hard for me. I have had to learn to live without the one thing that was keeping me in this world. I imagine you have been going through something similar. You know, I often wonder if you still think about me. Or if you even remember what my voice sounds like. Because I hear yours everyday. From the moment I wake up to the moment I pass out each night. Your voice is a constant reminder of you, and that brings me pain. I hope you are doing well, or at least better than I am doing. I know we didn't part on good terms. Once I found out what you did behind my back, I lost it. I am sorry. I yelled, said some hurtful things, and didn't give you a chance to explain yourself...
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Hello, it's the last person you'd like to hear from, but it's time to let this all get out of my head and aching heart. We spent years of friendship wanting one another when the other had no interest. You had spent 3 years interested in a relationship with me when I had no interest but we held a very good friendship. The night you conquered up the nerve to just kiss me when we were talking in your car literally took my breathe away and from that moment on I knew I'd care about more then a friend forever but that most have been when you realized you didn't want me like that anymore. So instead you spent the next 5 years toying with my head, every time I had come close to being completely moved on you'd pop right back into my life dragging me along just long enough to make sure I'd...
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You don’t deserve me. Because you hadn’t fought for me like how I would have for you. Not hard enough, at least. Because you never really stood up for us in the face of your menacing parents when they found out about our relationship. When your mother chased me out of the house, you didn’t mutter a word. You didn’t even try to stop her. You didn’t stand up for me like I expected you to. It was all too disappointing. There I was, like a roach swept out of the house, in the silence of the other roach who claimed to love me more than himself. There, you allowed their intolerance towards the idea of a same-sex couple tear us apart. You allowed their ignorance toward one modern-day version of love shoot me down. In my head I was screaming like Cristina Yang in Grey’s anatomy. Be...
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I've lost count of how many times I've written these words only to delete them all in a fit of 'it's not fair', 'he's a ****', or 'I can't be that selfish'. I do know it is almost as many times as I have sat with my fingers poised above the keys, staring at a blank screen because it hurts too much to put it into words - to make it real. These numbers combined just about add up to how many times I've gone over and over... and over in my head all the things I could have done differently, all the things I wish I'd said, all the things I wish I hadn't, and all the ways I could have been better... I could have been enough. I tell myself you obviously you weren't right for me. I tell myself someday I'll be enough for someone and that I should move on. I tell myself off for being so...
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Hey You, I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this or know that it’s me who wrote to you. I don’t know if this will make you angry or sad or hurt. I’m really not sure of a lot of things in my life at this point in time. I want to blame you for that. You screwed up my plan. Our plan. We had a plan. I want to hate you for messing it up. I want to hate you for ruining my life. I want to hate you because you won’t let me get over you. But I can’t. Because you aren’t at fault for any of those things. It’s been months and I still can’t think about you without getting severely emotional. I miss our ways. The way you looked at me, the way you’d reach for my hand while we were driving, the way you laughed whenever I played with that one penguin at the Aviary. I hate to admit it, but I miss you...
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