I loved you.
People say once you love someone and it's real, the love never goes away. I didn't believe this until now. It's been several months since we last talked.. When I think I'm over everything and you, I have some type of reminder of how happy we were or I have something I want to run and tell you because you'd be proud or just as excited as I am.
I loved you
I thanked God every day that he put you in my life. For the first time, I had everything I wanted in a relationship. We talked about a future together and made compromises with our dreams. We had an image of a house in our heads that was a mixture of what we both wanted.. We had names for our children, we had it all figured out. I thought about you all day. We spent almost every day together.. My life revolved around seeing you and including you in everything. I felt so lucky to have you and even questioned how I got so lucky to call you mine.
I loved you.
Taylor Swift said the age 22 is magical and I was wondering what all would happen for me this year. Two weeks after turning 22, we met. A few weeks later, I got accepted into nursing school.. Something I have been trying for a long time. I was amazed, thinking this was going to be my magical year.. Even finding the man of my dreams. Or so I thought.
I loved you.
I loved everything about you. Your voice was my favorite sound. Some words you said all the time became some of my favorite words. I loved how good you were with my nieces. The time we took them to Nashville shores, you melted my heart playing with one of them while I was with the other one.. It made me love you even more. I just sat back and watched, picturing that in a few years that would be our little girl. Your curly hair. I loved running my fingers through it. Your lips. Your hands.. How they fit perfectly into mine. Everything. I even loved your daughter who I hadn't even met yet. We planned a vacation to go see her. I couldn't wait to meet her. You couldn't wait to see her and introduce her to me.
I loved you
I loved you and you broke my heart. I still can't hate you for cheating on me. Instead, I think about all the special moments and say to myself, "He should be here." You should be with me to share moments with me. The holidays are the worst, knowing you would be here with me and my family. Instead, I feel something missing. You have a piece of my heart that I will never get back.
I love you.
As much as it hurts not having you around and still missing you, and still loving you, I know you'll never change. I know you won't be able to beat the temptation of another girl wanting you. I can't live my life wondering if one day after spending years together and building a family this will happen again. That's not fair to me.
I could have gone crazy, broken something, hit you, beat your truck.. But I didn't. Instead, I handed you your stuff and said you had to go. Was it easy? No. I made it look easy but it was the worst goodbye I've ever had. I watched my whole future walk out the door, and it wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for it, I did nothing wrong.
I loved you
I loved you, you loved me. We had a perfect relationship and you threw it away. There's one thing you need to know.. no one will ever love you as much as I loved you. I promise.
