I was SO angry at you. I was SO angry that you would leave me when you promised me that you would always stay. I blamed myself for months, thinking that maybe it was my fault that you didn't feel loved, that it was my fault you didn't think about how much everyone cared about you. Hell, were brother...
Broken Hearts
I don't know if you will ever read this but I hope you do. I hope that you realize it's for you.
For so long I've wanted to get things off my mind, to say I'm sorry, to tell you I don't hold a grudge, to tell you I don't hate you and I hope you don't hate me ether. We fell in love with the same man and he chose you, I don't blame him for that, you are an extraordinary woman and he chose well. Despite what you may of been told I do not have a bad thing to say about you, in fact I've always spoke highly of you if anybody has asked.
Please don't get me wrong, there have been days over the last 15 months where I was bitter, I was angry, I was sad and my god I cried from the hurt, I blamed myself , told myself I wasn't worthy of his love, I wondered why he chose you and not me. I was...
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Sometimes we have to risk getting hurt to find what we are looking for. That one thing that makes our soul sing. It's not that we won't get hurt, it's more that when we find that one thing, we are willing to endure all things for it. Just as I did you. But after everything, I have to face the fact that while you are that one thing for me, I am not that one thing for you. And even though I will never regret believing in you, you were not my dream to dream. I don't believe there is a dream for me in this lifetime. At least not one that is willing to take a chance on me. Mine, likes to take chances on people he already knows will let him down, and ones that will not love him back in the same way he loves them. I won't fault him for this. It took everything I had to keep putting myself out...
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To my boyfriend...
well it's been awhile now , awhile since we have made love and I actually felt like I was connected with you . Yes I know that it sounds bad that it's been a while since I've felt connected with you . But it's true ...
I can't keep going to bed at night knowing what you are doing . I can't lie awake wondering if you stood to your promise or if you broke it ... yet again .
You can't see me physically get hurt .. but why can you watch me be out through hell day in and day out with this addiction you have ?
You have hurt me mentally and emotionally . When we have sex I can't even enjoy it anymore . Because I know you aren't think of me .
You are thinking of Sarah with the big tits and perfect body . Or your thinking of Hannah the milf who's butt is just to big...
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To the girl that has a wall that nobody can tear down.
I know it is hard. I have been there, actually I am still there. I know how it feels to have someone break you so bad beyond repair that you don't know how to move forward... because lets face it you can't go back.
Like a storm that no one knew was coming has swept you up and swallowed you whole. And you are fighting to swim to the surface to catch your breath but you are being dragged deeper and deeper into oblivion.
I know how you feel.
Like you can't do anything right.
compliments completely throw you off guard and you freeze and wonder why this is happening to you?
you are self destructive.
jaded.
unworthy.
unloveable.
ugly.
But the thing is you are not any of those things.
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I honestly don't know what I did. I thought we were best friends. We shared so many good memories. I wanted to make more but you obviously didn't. You turned people against me and now they won't stop teasing me and texting me rude comments. And needless to say, I still miss you. I was never good at making friends. I'm always pleased with myself whenever i manage to make a new friend. I always want to keep my best friends for a long time. I want all those "best friend goals" people post online. But you don't want that.
When you left, you never exactly told me what I did wrong. You said my boyfriend "changed" me. I know that was just an excuse. You didn't want to admit that the real reason you left was because the girl i replaced came back after her and I stopped being friends...
2,365
I write this not out of jealousy but out of speculation of your new relationship with a person that once was my entire life and out of fear for you well being.
I'm not sure what is was about him that made you fall for him. His eyes maybe. Or his jokes. Maybe his smile. Or his words. But whatever it was, i hope you fall in love with him all over again every day. I hope he will show you off and take time to tell you how much he means to you. I hope he brings you to meet his family and his best friend. I hope you have endless romantic dates and laughs. I hope he treats you right and makes you feel like the most special girl in the world.
And most of all i hope those things never cease to exist in yours and his relationship. Because if they do, his eyes will slowly become cold. You'll...
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"It just won't work."
"Another shot of us may be impossible right now."
"I'm sorry."
"You weren't made to love me."
"Her."
"She."
"Hers."
I had all these hopes and doubts to myself, not knowing you only cared less. People choose to conclude with the assumptions which weren't even part of the choices. And yet, some people do things that make others assume further, for either something better or worse.
That's simply part of the cycle of hurting.
It works either way.
It has to be one-sided or unfair, for it is to be realized to unfortunately exist in reality.
We are the negative measurement in an absolute solution. It is a fact I've already expected and reminded myself right from the beginning. And as you utter those harmful words, it was as if the concept seemed...
2,372
I'm so sorry that he found you. I thought I had time to meet you and build you back up from your last relationship, before he got to you. I'm so sorry for the things he will do to you. You don't deserve any of it, but he can't help himself. He thinks what he does is justified and fun.
I don't know the lies he told you about me, but I do know the lies he has most likely already told you, because he told them to me.
First off, he has only one biological sister. He doesn't have a brother and no one he knows died just before Christmas on any year, walking to his place. His mother was not abusive. Yes, she would smack or punch his stomach randomly, but only because he and his step dad asked her to do it. So they could tighten their stomachs. His step dad confirmed this.
He was only in...
2,447
Despite having never met you, I know a lot about you. More than I care to know, honestly. My husband has known you for many years now and I'm just now realizing what has happened.
He fell in love with you when I allowed you to come into his life because of my stupid decisions. We have separated many times and every time he has went to you. Every time he tells you how beautiful you are, how perfect you are. The scary thing is, he's right. You have everything in the world going for you. You ARE gorgeous and genuinely nice. You would be the best thing in the world for him. But the jealous wife in me would never want that to happen of course.
This time when we reconciled things felt so different. He still looks for you on his Facebook. He watches your MMA fights online....
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