Broken Hearts

Dear Love of my Life. The day I first saw you in conditioning class, I did not know what I was in for. Just over a year later I look back on that day with great joy. I had thought that I had met the person of my dreams. You were beautiful, funny and clever. I instantly formed a crush on you and tried to work up the nerve to talk to you. I wont lie I looked at your twitter page to try and find a way to talk to you The first thing I noticed was that our birthdays were only one day apart. Mine being the day after yours. I was formulating my plan to talk to you. A friend of mine was wondering if she could get a job at the place that you worked. I told my friend that I would ask you for her. So there was my chance. I messaged you on twitter and asked for her. You responded and the best year...

Mr B, Always know you are the love of my life, my first and last thought of everyday and the reason I am the mellowed down - softer - slightly kinder version of me. But you are also the cyanide I drip into my veins in tiny doses. Not enough to kill me quite at once, but sufficient amounts to cause irreparable damage. Never enough to show scars on the outside but nevertheless slowly decaying me on the inside. I have tried everything I have been advised to do... Go on dates - tick, be alone - tick, talk about it - tick, don't mention it - tick, give someone else a chance - sort of tick, try and focus on something else - tick, be unkind to him - okay 6 out of 7's not bad, right? I know you are back with her now. Not a lot can be kept quiet where we are! And that is okay. I...

First, I need to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I held on for as long as I did without being completely honest with you. I thought you knew how I felt. I thought that you were stringing me along; that you were slowly destroying me. And I'm sorry for holding it all against you. Its not your fault that you don't love me. You didn't mean to hurt me. I did that to myself. I destroyed myself by loving you. By stringing myself along in hopes that one day you would feel the same. But you don't. And that's okay! Second, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being such an amazing friend to me all these years. Thank you for being there for me in my darkest times. You honestly saved my life. You were the breath of air that I finally got after I had been drowning for so long. You brought...

Boy, I've written this letter over and over again for months, but I decided to just write everything out and edit along the way. I've tried starting with the usual openings of "I miss you"s and "I need you"s. That, however sounded too needy. I also tried with "I hate you" and "I never want to hear from you again". That doesn't work. So, how will I address the boy who took up four years of my life? How do I talk to the guy who was my first love without even realizing it? The one who threw it all away for someone identical to me? I'll start like this. As I start packing for college, I literally pass through things that have been small, intricate parts of our journey. I carefully folded the burgundy, confetti covered shirt that I wore for the birthday party you planned for me. I...