A Letter to You…
To you, my best friend, my only kiss, my first love… this is for you.
You were my soulmate. My partner in crime. When I was next to you I felt like I could conquer the world. I remember the good times. The late nights, the face-times, the laughs. I remember us belting out songs in your truck, I remember me standing out your sunroof as we drove along the beach, I remember us swing dancing on my porch, I remember deep talks, I remember tearful goodbyes… I remember it all.
Now every day I wish I could forget you. I wish that every single song that comes on the radio didn’t have a piece of you in it. I can’t wait until the day when I can look at a piece of the past and not see you in it, hear a new song without wanting to make you learn it so we can sing it together...
Broken Hearts
I remember when we weren’t best friends when we were simply strangers bumping into each other. You and I simply bumped each other here and there. You were there but you were not at the same time. Then one day we simply clicked and you told me your name. Depression. Nice to meet you!
You knew everything about me but, I knew nothing about you yet we became friends anyways. You cheered me on over and over again every time I lowered a razor on my skin. You watched me as I cried and you told me everything would be alright. You make me feel alive and full yet I am slowly emptying.
We had our arguments and we broke up a few times but you managed to slither your way back in telling me you would do better and that you would be there whenever I needed you. I believed you and we stayed...
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Before you I always thought missing someone was the worst pain someone could feel. But once you left, I realized missing someone hurts but knowing you’re not being missed by someone you can barely breathe without, kills you.
June 20th was the day I met you. You asked me on a date to dinner and a movie. I will never forget that night because it was perfect, almost too perfect. I was the happiest girl ever when I was with you. Everyday we would happen to be together. We became best friends who could tell each other everything, and soon girlfriend and boyfriend. We were dating for about 3 weeks, when I got asked by you and your family to go on vacation with you. 10 days on your houseboat at Lake Cumberland, Kentucky. We were inseparable. From sunrise to dusk, we were side by side. Every...
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Dear Dad,
I remember when I was just six or seven years old and you came home early from work and started to pack bags and I asked you “daddy why are you packing bags are we leaving” and you said “no baby i’m just going away for a while” I was hurt, it felt like god let his anger out on me.....for no reason. I felt like I was going to run into an asthma attack…… like someone was pushing hard on my chest, or like I was getting kicked in my stomach over and over and over and over again. As tears started to roll down my face I stared at you in your big brown eyes for the last time and gave you a big hug goodbye.
I thought that i’d never see you again until…….
A few years later when I was about nine, I was at grandma's house for my cousin tykeaiahs birthday party. I was in the house...
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Dear brother,
Hey brother it seems like yesterday you were teaching me how to make your famous pizza with all the different sauces, even the sauce that you put on top of the pizza. It was so fun,we listen to music and danced and just goofed around till the pizza was done. Then after we would go in the basement and watch movies and then I would fall asleep. When I fell asleep you would put a cover on me and kiss my forehead.
I really miss you so much bro. Everything you have told me has helped me so much in life and in school. Just know I’m so proud that you went to the army. I think and talk about you every single day, I even keep your army picture in my phone case. So everyday I have my brother with me everywhere I go. By the way you’re probably worried about me...
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You don't realize what you're doing, do you? Drinking every night because you're stressed or because it's cool to drink or because you can't do it when you're older or simply because you're bored. So you decide to drink your life away, you didn't see it coming but I did. You went from a kid who likes to have fun to someone who depends on alcohol to live or even to sleep through the night.
"I’m not an alcoholic" you say as you're taking your 12th shot in the past hour. "I’m just having fun" you say as you're taking your 15th shot. It’s gotten to the point that you can drink a whole bottle of alcohol and "feel nothing". "I’m not even drunk" you say as you're stumbling around trying to stand.
You decided that alcohol is more important than keeping relationships. You don't even know but...
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Dear boy who treated me like shit,
First off I just wanted to say fuck you! I gave you my all. I turned down everyone, including some of your friends, just to be with you. Also fuck you for making me question my self worth. I laid on the floor bawling my eyes out way too many times wondering why I wasn't enough for you and why you needed to "hangout" with the girl I hate. Fuck you for the countless nights of insomnia and the hundreds of panic attacks that I still have to this day.
But also I wanted to say, thank you.
Thank you for making me question my self worth. Thank you for making me realize that I deserve the world and nothing less than that! Thank you for wasting my time so I could be ready to really look for someone who's going to treat me with the love and respect that you...
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Dear boy who treated me like shit,
First off I just wanted to say fuck you! I gave you my all. I turned down everyone, including some of your friends, just to be with you. Also fuck you for making me question my self worth. I laid on the floor bawling my eyes out way too many times wondering why I wasn't enough for you and why you needed to "hangout" with the girl I hate. Fuck you for the countless nights of insomnia and the hundreds of panic attacks that I still have to this day.
But also I wanted to say, thank you.
Thank you for making me question my self worth. Thank you for making me realize that I deserve the world and nothing less than that! Thank you for wasting my time so I could be ready to really look for someone who's going to treat me with the love and respect...
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I'd always known. I'd known there was something that really set you apart from previous boyfriends and crushes and other possible love-interests. I looked past the quirks, the questionable remarks that you sometimes gave, knowing that you chose me to be with. You chose me over anyone. Everyone. Now today I look back and see I was just telling myself that to feel better. To make an excuse as to what I subconsciously had known was taking place in your mind as you kissed me, held my hand, cuddled me, made love to me, and told me how much you "loved" me. It's absolutely not anyone's fault that you are who you are today. It's who you've always been and I was ignorant not to stop and ask myself the difference between what I wanted and what was the best (and right) thing for you.
Since we...
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May 24, 2016. I'll never be able to pinpoint what exactly made me pick up the phone and make an appointment for an ultrasound for that afternoon. Maybe it was because I suddenly realized that I no longer "felt pregnant". It hit me all at once that I hadn't felt sick in days,...
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