To my boyfriend...
well it's been awhile now , awhile since we have made love and I actually felt like I was connected with you . Yes I know that it sounds bad that it's been a while since I've felt connected with you . But it's true ...
I can't keep going to bed at night knowing what you are doing . I can't lie awake wondering if you stood to your promise or if you broke it ... yet again .
You can't see me physically get hurt .. but why can you watch me be out through hell day in and day out with this addiction you have ?
You have hurt me mentally and emotionally . When we have sex I can't even enjoy it anymore . Because I know you aren't think of me .
You are thinking of Sarah with the big tits and perfect body . Or your thinking of Hannah the milf who's butt is just to big you can't control your "excitement "
Since day one I knew I loved you . I wouldn't be here almost 5 years later if I didn't .
But you need to understand the amount of hurt you put me through . The devastating look I had on my face when yes I pick up your phone and searched your history . All but one app .
I thought to myself wow he has really changed since last year he's really committed to me . Until I opened up that one app and saw what you've been looking up .
I didn't know how to feel . My body was numb . I went limp . I was so infuriated that you could lie next to me in my bed and act like it was all good . But it wasn't . You don't understand the amount of pressure that is put on girls . We are normal girls . Who go about their life every day . We don't laser our hair or go to the doctors to make sure our bodies our in tip top condition . We get lazy . Don't always do our hair or makeup . But we can do something those girls can't . And that is love you , Bear you with our
Children . We can love you endlessly because all in all . We know what you like ; and what you don't like in and out of bed . Those other girls don't . We have everything you do memorized .
You think this is just a small thing but you don't see how much hurt it brings me . I can't sleep next to you without having a pillow between us because I'm so just torn apart . I know I can't change people and what they do . But I can take distance . And if that's what you need to realize that you don't want porn in your life anymore and that you only want me . Then I will give it to you . But right now it pains me . I don't have the perfect body . Or the perkiest boobs . But I have a heart that loves you . And a mind that wants to hold everything about you in it .
The next time you open up that webpage or app or whatever it is . Think of me . Think of how much you are hurting me every time you are watching another woman . You don't think you are cheating on me . But you are virtually . You are committing adultery and it pains me to see you get sucked into this kind of evil .
I love you . I always will . But you need to figure out what you want in your life . Because hurting me isn't helping .
Sincerely,
The girl who will only ever love you
