Read until the end.
I always wonder why things never work out as planned. Maybe I'll never know but I was so sure that things between us would work out. We started dating in April and we instantly clicked that night at Walmart, you automatically became my best friend. The more we talked, I told you everything no matter what. I instantly felt comfortable and safe around you. We would take random Walmart trips and we would go to the toy section and we would just joke around, it made me like you so much more than you could imagine. Just being with you made me happy. We hung out all the time and it even got to the point of me meeting your mom, even though I didn't want to, I did. Just to make you happy.
I met your mom at the beauty pageant, she never really liked me because I was so young...
Broken Hearts
Before you I always thought missing someone was the worst pain a person could possibly feel. But after you left I realized missing someone hurts but knowing you're not being missed by someone you can barely breathe without kills you.
Do you want to know what you did by leaving me? I can no longer enter a relationship with innocence. I can no longer hope for love and feel those butterflies. Instead I'll enter cautiously, and kill myself worrying when I'll be left. I can't enjoy, I can't laugh, I cant be delicate. I cant love at all. You've taught me to worry, and not to trust. You've taught me a new perspective of the world. You've changed everything. You've changed me. I can never be the same delightful girl I once was. I can no longer be loveable and I guess after all these months I...
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Dear Depression,
You suck. You make me feel hollow, broken, lost and hopeless—but you are a part of me. You have been with me as long as I can remember. For a very long time I didn’t understand why I always felt pitiful, sad and inferior. I felt something was wrong with me, but it wasn’t me, it was you.
You slip into peoples’ minds and twist them to feel dark, heavy and wrong. Sometimes you are gradual, like a steady dripping of water that eventually turns into an overflowing pool of despair. Other times you blow through like a tornado, destroying all the good in your path.
When I finally understood what you were I was embarrassed to ask for help. People that have never truly felt your weight don’t understand the impact you have. They told me to think positive, to exercise and eat...
4,339
The night was perfect. The moonlight kept us sober despite the alcohol prepped on the smooth wooden table. We were two twinkling stars of the night shining oh-so brightly. So bright that we'd make the perfect astrology. It was amazing. So amazing that we'd own these memories to ourselves. The embrace I've longed for, you seem perfect to provide it without hesitations. It was passionate; it was undoubtedly magical. We can watch the clouds and stars shower upon us. I desperately wished this was the night- the perfect night to fall in love.
Sadly, I was the only one who hoped for it. I was the only one who starred in the film I thought we both directed. But I had to be okay. I was /okay/.
We continued our journey. It was those late night conversations that kept us walking even 'til...
2,509
As i sit here listening to the rain fall as if tears from my check, i can still feel the warmth of your skin on mine the way your lips felt on my cheek. Its been months since everything fell apart and there are days still that it hits me so hard that i can literally feel the cracking in my heart.
I dont understand why things happen the way they do or why we couldnt make it work and this will be the question i fear will haunt me. You were my everything, my best friend, my heart, my strenght and my weakness. You made me insane but yet kept me grounded somehow. There wasnt anything i wouldnt have done for you, ive never felt a love like that before and i fear i never will again. Our love seemed extraordinary to me one that you only get to feel once in your life and although things werent...
2,556
You wouldn't find the alias funny, probably, but you tend to startle me with the way you execute your exhibitions. It amazes me, really, seeing you all giddy and proud as you see me cheering louder and adorably giggling. My tiny stunty, please keep my eyes from getting all teary. Another nickname you say? Maybe /my/ frustrated wrestler since you seem quite odd in cuddling; it's not too much for you to comprehend. Easy.
I find it funny though. This playlist I've been streaming through reminds me of you. "I'm reaching out to you, can you hear my call?" Fuck you, you heartless immature prick. These words were uncalled for, neither was my heart hanging on; basically grasping for air, on a tip of an iceberg, about to slip down and break into millions of pieces; slowly turning into cold...
2,493
I'm sorry I failed you
I'm really sorry that I don't see how.
Maybe I loved you too much
And it suffocated you
Maybe I Overprotected you
Maybe I believed in you too much
And my belief pressured you to
hide your flaws, mistakes or anything that you thought didn't live up what my eyes saw.
I'm sorry that even though you have been very clear with your accusations,
I can't truly apologize for any of the things that you say I did to hurt you because I don't see them.
I still try to find any trace of truth in the things you say but I can't. I've prayed over and over for God to reveal them to me as truths so that I can own up to them and help you heal but he has not.
What I see is a life that was one hundred percent devoted to you. A life where every decision was made...
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Blue,
As I take another hit of my third cigarette in a row, I notice my chipped blue nail polish. It is reminiscent of you. Your favourite colour was blue, your eyeshadow was blue, I left you blue.
I have spent well over an hour deciding how to begin this letter. I don't know that I should, really, as I'm sure my pathetic heart will be disgruntled for the rest of the night after writing out this letter. However, so much of it must be said.
The nights that followed our first meeting were long, and confusing. I was cold, bitter, and distant. I tried so very hard not to let you in. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as we found your house, and as you wrapped your arms around him, a wave of nausea hit me like a train. The spite built up in my heart. When we got to...
3,118
We met at the fragile age of 16. I remember our first conversation like it was yesterday. You were like every other boy, but there was a glimpse of something great in you I couldn't help but want to know. We started off rocky, which should of pulled me away from you to begin with. Yet, you always made your way back into my life. As we grew older my feelings got stronger. I remember when I knew for sure I was in love with you. Staring into your eyes at my Senior Prom singing a familiar song in your ear, I never thought anything could ever pull us apart. After I graduated, spending time together got less and less as did your feelings. I knew things were changing, but I couldn't let you go without a fight. After a little break up I moved closer to you thinking it would help our relationship...
2,726
Its been 3 years... Ive moved on, in a happy relationship, but I still miss you. How did we confuse the love that we felt for each other with a romantic one? Why did we have to enter into that stormy relationship only to end up without each other. I Lost my best friend and I cant get over it. I cannot forget and my wounds will not heal.
Im sorry that I broke your heart. Im sorry that I was selfish and threw you away because I was tired of your immaturity. I will never forget the look on your face when I told you Im leaving. I will never forget your pained phone calls begging me to stay. I will never forget the tears on your face after you landed up in hospital due to a suicide attempt. Im sorry. How could I have been so selfish? Your life was already such a painful one. I wish I could...
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