There is no emptier feeling then the feeling of loving someone who will never love you back.
I gave you my heart and soul but that wasn’t enough for you. Nothing I do will ever be enough.
No guy before you made me feel the way you did. You gave me a sense of comfort that I had never felt before. It was as though we had known each other for a lifetime. You knew my insecurities and flaws and you accepted them. You accepted me. You made me feel wanted.
You told me I was beautiful. You made me feel like I was special; like I was different from all the other girls before me. You made me believe that you actually cared about me. You made me promises of a future. You said all the right things at the right time. I was naive then. I believed all of your empty promises. I think that deep down part of me always knew you were nothing more than a pretty face with an empty heart. But I managed to push that thought so far down inside because I hoped that you would be more. I dreamed of you as my prince that you yourself claimed to be. You said you different.
Well as it turns out you weren’t.
The night I gave you my all was the night you walked away. You got what you wanted and then you threw me aside. I spent weeks thinking about you and how if I had done something differently you might have stayed. Then I moved on to thinking about ways I could try to get you back. Maybe if I made myself prettier or thinner you would want to come back. You might change your mind and learn to love me afterall.
It’s been several months now and I still find myself thinking about you quite often but not in the same way as before. I no longer want to change myself to get you to love me. I no longer desperately want your love. I no longer want you. I have finally realized that I shouldn’t need to change who I am to get you or anyone to want me. I will always be enough exactly the way I am.
Despite the pure heartache and devastation you put me through I wouldn’t want to change a thing. I don’t regret what happened between us because at the time you were what I wanted and the way you made me feel is now something I aspire to find in someone else. All the pain you put me through has given me an immense amount of strength and for that I want to say thank you. Thank you for helping to show me that I deserve so much more then you could have ever given me. Thank you for pushing me to come to terms with my self worth. Thank you for finally opening my eyes and giving me the gift of genuine self love.
Thank you for never loving me.
