I was like a puppet to you.
You controlled me emotionally and mentally. You controlled my actions and feelings towards others. You alienated me from my friends, family, education, work, my true self. You turned me against the ones who were always there for me. The ones who saw the true you early on. The ones who I did not listen to because I loved you.
You broke me, but you did not ruin me. Your manipulation is what kept me in the relationship. I was too blind, too in love, to see your real intentions. You threatened suicide multiple times just to keep me. You told me that no other guy would want me. I believed you. I wanted out so bad. It took three months to finally be free. Be free from you, from your power, from your manipulation, from your abuse.
I felt like I had no voice....
Broken Hearts
Dear Neighbor I May Not Have Heard One Day;
This is the happiest time of year, right? It is Christmas. It is the excitement of ending the old year, and the wonder of the year just starting. It is chock full of resolutions, dreams for the future, and a willingness to see more than what we have at the moment...no matter what that actually is. It is full of hope.
It is during this holiday season that we become willing to give to others. We allow ourselves, if only for a brief moment, to feel sympathy and guilt towards the plight of people we don't even know. We wonder over misplaced children in the care system; we ponder the needs of the homeless and hungry; we consider the disabled and mentally challenged; we may even reach for our pocketbook and send a helpful cheque, or...
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People say that the first year is the worst... It gets better with time... You'll move on... And I want to just scream at them until I have no voice left. Every year will be the worst. No it doesn't get better with time. It just becomes different in how I have to deal with things. And who the he'll are they to tell me that I will move on... So what if I never do!
You were the absolute love of my life. The only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I still feel robbed... I still question why... I still wonder how this plays into "God's plan" for me and our son. How could this be a part of any plan? Taking you from me and our son... REALLY? I'm still trying to come to terms with that. I know I never will, but I wish I could understand.
I know they mean well, but it's not what...
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The truth is you did not love me, you did not want me; you needed me. No..not me someone, anyone someone to keep you stable. The night we met you had been planning on killing yourself, but chose to hang out with me instead. During the relationship you told me you didn’t know what you would do without me... that I was what was keeping you sober. At the time I thought this was sweet and romantic.
The same night we broke up you made a friend. That is totally rad, friends are great . I was glad you didn’t have to be alone. I was happy someone was with you to make sure you did not harm y yourself. You also told me she was just a friend nothing more nothing less. Now you are happily dating her. Less than a week later…
You met them a night you were planning on harming yourself in some way...
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Five years. I spent five years of my life with you. Five years that I can never have back. To say you hurt me would be a major understatement. I devoted my life to you. Did my best to make you happy. Gave you everything I could. Though, nothing is ever enough for you. Nothing I could have done or not done would have stopped you from cheating on me. I've learned that cheating is just a part of who you are. When our daughter was six months old you began seeing a 21 year old that you swore was nothing to you. You swore you barely even knew her. Of course, that was all lies. You'd go do your thing with her then come home and pretend nothing was wrong. Even when I asked. Even when I begged with tears running down my face for you to please just tell me the truth. You never did.
Shortly...
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Today my father got a rejection letter from home office for his visa application. A retired 69 years man. Home office is xenophobic. We will have a sad Christmas because an officer from home office is a heartless paranoid person.
They rejected the visa because my father is totally alone in our home country and they said maybe he doesn't come back after his visit.
I am senior scientist. My husband is lecturer in university. We both are UK permanent resident. Why can't we invite my old father for Christmas to our home?
We are not allowed to appeal or question the decision. This is unjustified. Is this democracy UK is proud of? British people reading my post, is this moral that minority and foreigners are treated like this in your country?
If by chance a border officer read this,...
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An Open Letter to the Three Guys that cheated on me,
How are you? How’s life? Actually, I know you guys are fine, because sometimes I check your social network accounts. And I can see you all have moved forward, are happy, enjoying and someone even got married.
Honestly, I envy you all. That you go on with your life easily, with new partners on your sides. And yet, I am here, figuring what was my fault, what’s wrong with me that it was so easy for you to leave and hurt me. It will always end up to that, I am not enough, because if I was, I don’t think you’ll leave, right?
Did I ever cross your mind? Did it even come to your mind to say sorry to me? To explain what happened and why it became like that, you left suddenly and next thing I knew, you’re with somebody.
At random nights, I...
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To the guy whom i love and cherish the most, to the guy whom im willing to sacrifice my all, the word i hate you and yet still loving you is the best thing that i can tell you right now. I hate you for taking me for granted and yet i love you cause you did.
I hate you for always scolding me and telling me how childish i was and yet i love it cause it means that youre still connected with me.
I hate you for always telling me how stupid and naive i am but still i love you cause i really do.
I hate you for thinking i dont love you.
I hate you for not seeing my worth and yet im still here waiting for you to see right thru me.
Theres almost a lot of reasons for me to hate and despise you, and yet im here still beside you for better or for worst. I may not be your first wife neither am i...
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I had seen signs of things that I didn't think we're normal in a healthy relationship, but I ignored them because I loved you. When school started you got mad when I went to lunch with my friends and you even got mad when I spend time with my family. It was almost as if you were in competition with them, fighting for me. I wish you had known that you were the only one fighting when you didn't even have to. You weren't in a competition with anyone.
Fast forward to the threatening texts messages, the criticism, the hatred of everyone in my life, the cruelty, and the manipulation. When we first broke up I thought I was blind to that because of how much I loved you. Looking back on it now I realize that you made me feel like I had no one else, leaving me to rely only on you. I wasn’t...
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Love was never a concept that I thought I would experience in high school. Nor did I ever think I would fall so hard, so fast. It was crazy really. My sophomore year go high school will be one i never forget. I knew you weren't as interested in me as I was you, but it only made me crazier about you. As a teenager with almost zero sexual experience I thought that was going to be the key to your heart.
Sadly as I write this, I know it didn't work out like that. I hate myself for being so naive and trusting. We began to "hook-up" frequently, but you would never consider it anything past desire. As you boasted to all of your friends about things that seemed personal to me, I gleamed with happiness as i described the guy I was so into. I thought we were together, but still not in your eyes....
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