Broken Hearts

Dear Almost, I am writing this letter to help gain a sense of peace, closure, and the strength to continue moving forward. I didn’t see you coming. Having only known the feeling of toxic love, I did not have many expectations for dating anymore and was quite content being single and on my own. You came out of no where and before I knew it, I was hooked and the love I felt for you hit me like a ton of bricks. From the moment I first laid eyes on you when we met over coffee that day, I knew you were going to be a huge part of my life. The ways in which we were connected were anything but a coincidence. If you ask me, it was fate. Our moms grew up together, I’ve known your step family for years, your dad lived directly across the street from me in the past, and yet we never crossed...
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I am angry at you because, I have forgiven you again, like every other time. Without a single word spoken between us I have forgiven you and allowed myself to feel the blame of your anger, sadness, stress, and every emotion I never wanted you to feel. I am angry because I still miss you when I hear a song on the radio, or smell a scent of cologne. When I miss you it’s like all of the rare good times outweigh the all of the bad times. I still wish for a second I was in that two-bedroom house with you, cooking your supper, cleaning up after your messes, and feeling warm when you would say “I love you”. But then I want to hate you, so much, because I know you didn’t love me. Or at least you didn’t love me as I loved you. Because to me, you were more than just an object that I could use for...
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You make me cry. It's that simple. Even as I write this, I feel that burning at the corners of my eyes. I lock the door in fear someone will walk in, see me about to cry. I don't know if it will be a sob, weep, or one of those quiet, long cries. But I know I'll cry. What else am I supposed to do? How do you want me to respond to you? I am terrible at words, feelings, empathy. You know this. You don't know the depth of my emotions, though. You broke your own heart and mine in one blow. Impressive, if we weren't the ones getting hurt. If you weren't the one with a rope around your neck, and I wasn't the one losing a heart, it'd almost be a story for the ages. A tragedy. But for me, for you, it is us. It is our lives.
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Hey, To be honest, i really don't know why i am writing this, and i also have no idea how to begin this. I know you because you are the brother of my (female) best friend. You were in Australia for a year while i got to know your sister better and better. I didn't really realised who you are because i may saw you a few times until then. When you came back, you get into my class in school, and i remember the first time we had math class together, you were sitting in front of me and that was when i first really noticed you. My first thoughts on you were something like, wow, he actually looks very good. The next summer my best friend Allie invited me to go on vacation with her and her family. I agreed, not knowing that this will be the time were I get to know you better. I am really...
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I watched you. Pinned at the throat. The man is yelling at your face, and you standing there, unbothered. A mere few seconds before, I had unknowingly walked a few steps back to grab something I left on the table. Then right after... BAM! You were slammed onto the concrete post. My friends shifted their glance to you and me, wondering if I was going to react. The man let go of you for a few seconds, and then he slammed you against a wall this time. This time, anger surged through me. You looked at me and I stood there, able to do nothing. But I wasn't the only one just standing, all your friends were just watching! What kind of friends are those? I waited there until everything was sorted out, but many of your friends had walked away. As the week progressed, my friends...
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Your broken pieces don't define you. You will encounter people in your life who will not understand your pain, and you will lead yourself to believe that this broken self is who you are. But how can everyone have the same level of understanding when we have all had different life experiences? Our experiences shape our perception. How we see things. How we feel towards things. So how can we understand something we have never experienced? We are also all different. Some of us can breeze through a certain situation where others will struggle. If you asked the dolphin what it's like to swim in the ocean, he'll tell you it's exhilarating. Speeding through the water then launching yourself through the air
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...if the Universe sees fit, then this letter will somehow make it's way to you. If it does and you feel like this letter is for you, it is. I miss you. I miss you so much that I can hardly withstand the pain. Every single day I want to text you...but I don't. I do not excuse what you did to me, but I don't think you are entirely yourself at this point in time. I remember all the things we did, the words we said, the laughter we shared. I miss getting your texts all day long. I miss cuddling with you. I miss the way you that you loved me, quite simply. But the thing I realize now is that I don't think you know what love truly means. This could be due to your age, I am not sure. Maybe you never had anyone love you the way I did. I think that you loved me the only way you knew...
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I am hurting. I feel like my heart has shattered into a million pieces and I will never be able to find them all. It's been a long while since we last spoke. Admittedly, things didn’t leave off on a good note… no matter how badly I wished to message you. Things between us will never be the same. Though I do miss you. I miss you more than you could ever know or ever believe. I still love you. To sum it up, the last words you said to me implied that the time I spent with you, everything I did with you, and everything I said to you was a lie; that everything was a lie. That I was selfish; that no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I did, I only cared about myself and not the slightest amount for you.That I said “f*** you” because of your mental illnesses. That in the end...
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To who I used to be, I remember when you were me and we were comfortable and safe. I was able to make it through the day when we were together. It has been a struggle without you by myside and it is hard to do the things we used to do together. I didn’t notice you slipping away from and then just one day you were just gone. I never realized how happy we were until you disappeared. I am sorry for letting you slip away, but can you come back please. Since you have been gone it has been harder to do everything. There isn’t even a trace of you to help go through the day. I can’t smile like you would for me. We used to be perfect at that, no struggle just natural happiness. But without you I can’t even feel happy, even around my friends. Every joke that is made comes with a fake laugh...
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Dear Ex, You broke my heart. Not only did you break it, you shattered it. Now I am left with all of the pieces that don't quite fit back together correctly. My heart was already cracked and broken in several places. When I met you I thought that your love was the glue to help mend what was broken. Instead, you held the weapon to destroy it once and for all. You told me every day that you loved me. I love you so much, you said. Then the minute that there was a true conflict that arose, you chose to walk away. I was always there for you. When you needed me during your hard times, I was there. You told me that my sadness was too much for you. When I needed you, and you knew I did, you left. True love does not evaporate when there is an issue in the relationship. Was there someone else...
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