Not long ago you said you’d love me forever
You said in fifty years we’ll still be together
“I need you”, you said
Telling me in not such a long time you’d be dead
But it was all a lie
You were never going to die
Took my heart in the palm of your hands
Said you’d look after it, said you would keep it
The only thing you kept was me and you kept me a secret
Should’ve known then, but love is blind
Thought you were the best person ever; so sweet...
Broken Hearts
My dearest love,
You are my lifeline. You stole my heart a long time ago. I feel so strongly for you, a feeling I’ve never felt before. You taught me how to love and feel love in the very few moments that we shared together. Until you came along I didn’t realise how selfless I could be in love. My darling if only I could let you know how I feel… Sometimes I wonder whether the universe is against us? Or is it that you don’t feel for me the way I feel for you? In this very moment it feels like I’m swimming in a vast ocean with no land to be found. My soul is tired of waiting. I write this, thanking you for all that you have taught me and made me feel over the years. Maybe in another life I would be brave enough to tell you how I feel and perhaps have our very own fairytale ending. As of...
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Dear Darius
You know I went to mental hospital, but I wonder if you would care if you saw why. Remember when I ran away before Music Fest? I was way worse than that.
I would run away from my parents. I didn’t trust them anymore. I thought they were going to hurt me. I ran barefoot and burnt my feet, than stood on top of an ant’s nest.
I was so confused that I thought my parents weren’t my real parents. I was so confused that I removed my clothes. I was so confused that they had to put me asleep. I can’t eat strawberry mousse anymore because they put me to sleep with fake strawberry mousse.
I don’t know if you care. I don’t know if you would care if you saw me, or if you’ll just dismiss me as a nutcase.
It brings me so much pain to recollect the messages I sent you. It...
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This afternoon, Thoughts of you suddenly filled my mind. Like lovelorn fool I filled my pepers of your name, repeatedly and religously wirting your name, over and over again.
I hate you… just when I finally and confidently could say that im over you, you betray me in the dirtiest way.
You visited me in my dreams, the longing ang aching that my heart and soul feels for you became apparent. I was fooling my self all this time…a fool I am.
I hate you.. leave my thoughts alone.. leave me alone, I beg of you. If your heart can not be mine, if us is not meant. I beg of you not toy with me, not with my heart, noy with this fool..
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PART A - ND's OPEN LETTER to MC Members
June, 2022
Dear MC Members,
Peace be with you.
Firstly, I would like to apologize to have to bother any of you with this. Secondly, I would like to ask for your help. Since July, 2021, I have put in 7 effortful attempts in trying to get my membership released from Maranatha and have been stonewalled by a couple of pastors regarding this at every turn. The reason I stood up to addressed the church people (as a last resort) at the 4/3/22 service is because I am left with no other option to get my request, or my side of the situation, heard in this church. And now I am исключена? For those who are willing to hear me out and help me, I will describe to you the circumstances around this all. All names are initialed to avoid doxxing...
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Baby,
Two days ago, we just decided to end things between us. I have been thinking about this for a while, because I feel like you are not into this as I am. And today, I was proved right. When I asked you if we should keep going or not, you immediately wanted to end it, coldly and without hesitation. I kind of expected it honestly because you have been so distant emotionally. I figured that you didn't want me as much as I want you. I wanted to know details about you and your life but you're not telling me anything anymore. And I don't want to force it from you. What we had was so good in the beginning and I really thought it would last for a while. But all throughout the relationship, it was just a cycle of ignoring, fighting, and getting back together again which is not good at all...
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Well, now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you
If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots
Remember
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land
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Dear ex,
I am currently seeking professional help to process and hopefully overcome all I went through with you.
I have come to the painful realisation that you were in fact abusive. Even now seeing it written down, I struggle to completely accept it. I still make excuses for it, for you. I still try and explain why you did what you did and that it’s not your fault because you have been through things and you need help too.
I tried to tell you before, that what you were doing constitutes as abuse, but you always dismissed it and said I was being dramatic, so I started to believe you. You told me I was being ridiculous and I was 6ft tall, so how could someone who was 5ft be abusing me. It made me feel pathetic and I thought no one would ever believe me or if they did, they wouldn’t...
524
We were once the closest of friends. We hung out together daily after school for lunch, texted and chatted about everything under the sky. We were inseparable, and school was made fun only because of you. The once jovial you, however, changed soon after I introduced you to him. Naive as I was, I never expected for two of my best friends to vibe so well and to grow even closer than what both of you were to me at first. Alas, after knowing him you experienced bouts of anxiety and depression, confiding me about your suicidal thoughts occasionally. I tried to break down your wall, to help you overcome the stress and worry that you were facing at that point in time. Despite my persistent attempts, you refused to see a counsellor. Refused to confide in your parents or in your teachers. Refused...
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"Lost"
they say that hell is crowded, yet,
when you’re in hell,
you always seem to be alone....
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