Lauren
This is certainly not the first letter I’d ever send to you if I found you. This would be the second letter, after having asked and received permission from you to send this one. I’ve been looking for you for a little while, to no avail. I wonder how you could not have any digital signature anywhere. It’s interesting how someone so remote in time and who probably hasn’t thought of me in decades is in my thoughts today. But I’ve been looking for lots of old friends and acquaintances lately. Someone in conversation said it was “end of days shit” and I suppose there’s a bit of truth to that. (Don’t worry, I’ve taken good care of myself and am quite healthy, though with a little less hair!)
It's been what, over 30 years since we knew each other. I know, I know, it was my...
Broken Hearts
Missing you again,
What’s new there?
Constantly thinking of you,
With a blank stare.
Why couldn’t things be different?
Why did it have to end this way?
Did you even love me?
Were you even gay?
Looking back, I don’t think so,
There’s nothing more to say,
Except I don’t feel like it’s done,
I can’t accept it ended this way.
But when it comes down to it,
The words don’t want to come out,
Nothing inside makes sense,
Filling me with doubt.
You broke my heart,
But you already know that,
Which is why I haven’t heard a thing,
I miss you so much,
Me, hands on the steering wheel,
On the M1,
Listening to you sing,
Sometimes I think I hate you,
Sometimes I hope that you’re alone,
Doesn’t stop me thinking of you,
I’m like a dog with a bone.
I hope you hurt as much as me,
I...
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Not long ago you said you’d love me forever
You said in fifty years we’ll still be together
“I need you”, you said
Telling me in not such a long time you’d be dead
But it was all a lie
You were never going to die
Took my heart in the palm of your hands
Said you’d look after it, said you would keep it
The only thing you kept was me and you kept me a secret
Should’ve known then, but love is blind
Thought you were the best person ever; so sweet...
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My dearest love,
You are my lifeline. You stole my heart a long time ago. I feel so strongly for you, a feeling I’ve never felt before. You taught me how to love and feel love in the very few moments that we shared together. Until you came along I didn’t realise how selfless I could be in love. My darling if only I could let you know how I feel… Sometimes I wonder whether the universe is against us? Or is it that you don’t feel for me the way I feel for you? In this very moment it feels like I’m swimming in a vast ocean with no land to be found. My soul is tired of waiting. I write this, thanking you for all that you have taught me and made me feel over the years. Maybe in another life I would be brave enough to tell you how I feel and perhaps have our very own fairytale ending. As of...
1,932
Dear Darius
You know I went to mental hospital, but I wonder if you would care if you saw why. Remember when I ran away before Music Fest? I was way worse than that.
I would run away from my parents. I didn’t trust them anymore. I thought they were going to hurt me. I ran barefoot and burnt my feet, than stood on top of an ant’s nest.
I was so confused that I thought my parents weren’t my real parents. I was so confused that I removed my clothes. I was so confused that they had to put me asleep. I can’t eat strawberry mousse anymore because they put me to sleep with fake strawberry mousse.
I don’t know if you care. I don’t know if you would care if you saw me, or if you’ll just dismiss me as a nutcase.
It brings me so much pain to recollect the messages I sent you. It...
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This afternoon, Thoughts of you suddenly filled my mind. Like lovelorn fool I filled my pepers of your name, repeatedly and religously wirting your name, over and over again.
I hate you… just when I finally and confidently could say that im over you, you betray me in the dirtiest way.
You visited me in my dreams, the longing ang aching that my heart and soul feels for you became apparent. I was fooling my self all this time…a fool I am.
I hate you.. leave my thoughts alone.. leave me alone, I beg of you. If your heart can not be mine, if us is not meant. I beg of you not toy with me, not with my heart, noy with this fool..
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PART A - ND's OPEN LETTER to MC Members
June, 2022
Dear MC Members,
Peace be with you.
Firstly, I would like to apologize to have to bother any of you with this. Secondly, I would like to ask for your help. Since July, 2021, I have put in 7 effortful attempts in trying to get my membership released from Maranatha and have been stonewalled by a couple of pastors regarding this at every turn. The reason I stood up to addressed the church people (as a last resort) at the 4/3/22 service is because I am left with no other option to get my request, or my side of the situation, heard in this church. And now I am исключена? For those who are willing to hear me out and help me, I will describe to you the circumstances around this all. All names are initialed to avoid doxxing...
1,281
Baby,
Two days ago, we just decided to end things between us. I have been thinking about this for a while, because I feel like you are not into this as I am. And today, I was proved right. When I asked you if we should keep going or not, you immediately wanted to end it, coldly and without hesitation. I kind of expected it honestly because you have been so distant emotionally. I figured that you didn't want me as much as I want you. I wanted to know details about you and your life but you're not telling me anything anymore. And I don't want to force it from you. What we had was so good in the beginning and I really thought it would last for a while. But all throughout the relationship, it was just a cycle of ignoring, fighting, and getting back together again which is not good at all...
1,533
Well, now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you
If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots
Remember
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land
978
Dear ex,
I am currently seeking professional help to process and hopefully overcome all I went through with you.
I have come to the painful realisation that you were in fact abusive. Even now seeing it written down, I struggle to completely accept it. I still make excuses for it, for you. I still try and explain why you did what you did and that it’s not your fault because you have been through things and you need help too.
I tried to tell you before, that what you were doing constitutes as abuse, but you always dismissed it and said I was being dramatic, so I started to believe you. You told me I was being ridiculous and I was 6ft tall, so how could someone who was 5ft be abusing me. It made me feel pathetic and I thought no one would ever believe me or if they did, they wouldn’t...
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