Broken Hearts

"Lost" they say that hell is crowded, yet, when you’re in hell, you always seem to be alone....
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for my part in the hurt y'all feel, babies, i am truly sorry. i am so sorry for the pain i caused. i didn't leave y'all or at least that was never my intention. i only meant to leave y'all father. i only ever meant to be happy. i absolutely loved being a mom. it's the only thing that i miss. i only craved happiness...
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We all have childhood sweethearts. We all have first loves and great loves. Mine just happened to be the three of them combined. To Chester, this is for you. We were something that was never meant to happen. Because if we were meant to be, it wouldn't have ended that way. But time with you is time worth spending or wasting. No one understands me the way you do. No one sees me the way you do. No one can fill my gaps the way you do. No one would ask me what book I read after disappearing for 5 hours. No one would sing with me during calls. No one would be my selfie dump. No one would be the Chester that I need in my life. People know that I was so gone for you. Even after 2 years of being separated, you're still the only one I'm willing to live for. You, Chester, bewitched...
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oh. wait. is that the stench of guilt i'm smelling? must be. but no. no, i didn't go through your phone. i will ever only make that mistake one time. so pay attention to what i'm telling you. and please know this to be very true. understand this to be facts. you ready? for the remainder of my life ... I WILL NEVER AGAIN GO INTO YOUR PHONE! under no circumstances. won't matter. once is enough. enough disappointment. enough heartbreak. once is enough for this fool. you know, i'm usually so damn good about keeping myself busy, but i was having an off night. boredom and too much time to think. my two worst enemies. i knew better. damnit i know better. yet i didn't do better. fuck! i just needed some goddamn reassurance. that's it. reassurance that you were all that you portrayed yourself to...
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You are my all time favorite game. I bought my first starter deck of Revised Edition in 1994, a year after the first release and I was instantly hooked. I started High School, Mtg and my first job in the same week of that year and over the next three years I spent a great deal of money I made at that job on your cards and played them on the floor in the halls of that school. A friend of mine and I taught ourselves to play from the little rule book, but a whole new world was revealed to us when we made contact with the local card shop that was running your tournaments in town. At our first tournament we were just playing every card we owned. Before a year had passed that little card shop closed and the tournaments stopped, but I wasn’t done with you. Far from it. I put up posters and...
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I literally dont know how to start this.. I guess ill start by saying that im sorry. Im sorry for not realising and giving you what you really want, i got so self absorbed in doing what I thought was right for us but despite this please remember that I did love you. I loved you with the best of me even though its not what you needed. You see, Ive been in this exact same situation. But at the same time its different from the others. Its different because for once i feel this heavy weight on my shoulders, so much sadness and hurt in me and its starting to take over the love i have for you. Its different because i think i actually havent loved this much before? Which i blame you for. I blame you because for that short amount of time all you showed me was how amazing you are, how...
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This will be my last letter to you. DB I would tell you anything and everything if you ever asked. If you wanted to know something, I'd tell you. Because I've chosen to trust you and I've chosen to fancy you. Even though, now that I really think about it, I barely even know you. With that privilege though, you've also gained the ability to hurt me. I wish I knew what I was to you, if anything. I wish I could just ask you and talk to you about how you make me feel. I've given you access to affect the emotions inside me because somehow...I've gotten so very attached. I know better. I know it's wrong. Perhaps that is why I feel as though I can't just ask you ...because I know what your answer would be. It would be the logical and obvious answer... I'm nothing important. Because you...
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To my Love, We often say,”to be human is to suffer”. To love someone is to invite in and embrace suffering. Love is selfish, love is hard and to love someone the way you love me takes a special kind of person. Thank for not protecting me the suffering of love. Thank you for believing in me and my ability to experience of all love; the suffering and the joy. xoxo Billie
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It has been 3 months since I found out about your infidelity and exactly 1 month that I have known that you had sex not once but even more with other women while being married with me. I know you are feeling the pain of shame and uncertainty. I also understand that you are hoping that all this never happened. Here is the catch, I can still believe that you have concern for me, and you see me now as your better half and your indiscretion is hurting you both emotionally and mentally as much as it hurts me. I can also see and observe your anxiety to my discovering (bit by bit) about everything which had caused me so much pain. I understand how you are feeling, and no one wants to have a mistake thrown on their faces repeatedly (almost everyday). So? what is this letter all about? I...
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I refuse to begin this letter with pseudo pleasantries that would make my words more palatable for you. It's been approximately 5,333 days since you walked out the door never to be seen again. It sounds like a movie where the villain gets a reprieve instead of being forced to participate in a final duel with the hero (which would surely result in his demise). It's funny how my 18-year-old brain processed trauma in that brief moment. It was almost as if I stepped out of myself and watched the exchange taking place from a corner of the hallway. There I stood, an insecure girl with the complexion of coffee, displaying a smile that could warm your body on a cold winter day. Opposite you stood, a young man I was intrigued by, inspired by, and once held by. To me, I felt like every moment we...
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