Broken Hearts

Hey All My life was like a fairy tale all the way till 19 Feb 2018, the day on which I made it hell. I was very happy, i was spending time with my most caring loving and as awesome as always best friend whom i love the most. He is amazing I have not found anyone like him till now and i am sure i will not find anyone like him in future. You know he never wanted me or anyone around him to shed a tear from eyes. He did everything for everyone of his friends, never thought about anything else than friendship. First time when i met him i didn't wanted to talk to him, obviously i was having attitude, but getting to know about him it made me grounded. He made me and many people with their high attitude landed on the ground by his humbleness and his attitude to tackle people. Things...
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I have always been told about people in abusive relationships. I never thought I would be in one myself. No one can show you what it looks like, and we don't seem to listen when someone tells us that something is wrong. We're "in love" well at least I was. They never tell you what it feels like, the first time they do something that just shreds you to pieces. See when you spend enough time thinking about it, even you don't understand why. They're not heartless of course, just heartless to you. The first time it happened, I didn't know what to think. I have always known what it's been like to be ignored by someone, but not someone that you hold so close to you. I guess if you've ever been heartbroken, you'd know it's like being in a cold shower. You can't breathe and it feels like you...
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M, I wasn’t ready for that conversation we had on the phone a few years ago, and I was so nervous to hear your voice after so many years... to be judged by you... I’m afraid I was an ass. I couldn’t really connect the dots and put into words what I wanted to say to you about my regrets from the past. I was still figuring it out 5 years after we broke up. Now that I am married, I have looked back and I realize I can’t go through all my relationships in life running away from my problems and I have to take responsibility for my actions. It has taken me 10 years to really see how things were and how much I really hurt you. I was too hurt myself and proud to admit to you that I was wrong. I was the one who crossed the line and I pushed you away. That song you said was about me makes me cry...
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Dear universe, I've heard that if we ask for your help, your assistance with an honest true heart you never fail to deliver. Well I need you. I need you to deliver right now. You see I am lonely, lost and scared. When I look into the future, it is uncertain and unclear. All I want is a kind, honest, funny man who will look after me and protect my heart. I want to meet someone and fall deeply in love. I want us to be happy together and make each other proud and excited about life. I am ready to settle down. Ready to get married. Ready to have babies. Ready to start living. Please take my life off pause and help to bring me love. Please grant me one wish and bring me happiness and excitement in the form of a wonderful caring man who will sweep me off my feet and carry me over...
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You don’t know me, or even know of me. But I know of you, and I know quite a bit about you. When I say I know a lot about you what I mean is this- I’ve been in your home, eaten your food, rode in your vehicles, met your children, and gotten very close to your husband. Yeah, that’s quite an opening statement, I can only speculate what is going through your head right now but I can imagine that it is some combination of pain, anger and furry, possibly full on outrage. Since it’s clear I know who you are, I’m guessing you want to who I am? Well, I’m the reason your husband started taking so many selfies. I’m the reason he comes home extra sweaty after being at the “gym” late at night. The reason he hasn’t minded that it’s been months since you have had sex with him. And I’m the reason...
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“The people, in general, cannot bear very much reality. They prefer fantasy to a truthful recreation of their experiences.” - A conversation with James Baldwin “Most people can’t see themselves. The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone else’s face that you caused and having to deal with yourself. Most people don’t want to do that. You don’t want to look inside yourself, and so you walk away.” - Shawn Carter It is true, that the general majority of people function (if it may be called that), in striking, deliberate ignorance of reality. This is to be expected. It perseveres as no great secret that the unsolicited circumstances we find ourselves born into are the same conditions that inescapably shape who we are. From our conception we are a troubled people. However, it is the...
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I used to think that I was fat Because thats what you always told me They told me I was alright But that was never quite enough for you You needed me to be more than I was More than I wanted to be And I could never say no Because I didn't want to cause your annoyance So I started to diet I started to starve Because I wanted to be perfect for you You told me I was inferior to you And I believed you Because to me, you were perfect You were always right How could I have been so stupid? They told me I was beautiful inside You told me I was a dumb slut Dull Boring Ugly There was nothing I could do but believe you Why? You wanted it all from me And every time I couldnt give you what you want You'd be filled with annoyance at me All over again Fine...
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I don't hate you, but I should. You play the victim, the poor disabled man, the one who was wronged for no reason, oh so very well. You place blame and take no responsibility . I know some where deep in that scary head of yours, you know the truth. You know you and only you are the reason I left you. When I think back, our entire 10 years was a lie. You lied to me from the start, hid what you were doing and you never stopped. I told you the day you walked away from me, phone in hand to talk to your then wife, the one you lied to me about, not to hide things from me and we would never have a problem. Why couldn't you just do what I ask? I feel like I am not goid enough for the truth. I know now your longing for love, your ego, your need to never be alone caused it all. Not that I have...
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I'm glad you're back together with her. Really, I am. That's what you've always wanted, right? To get back to your complicate affair and try to waste another 3 years of your life trying to get her to leave her husband for you. Oh sweetie, you poor thing. I think you were so used to being miserable that when I showed you what it feels like to be happy, you think it's a joke. You're so used to be given only a tiny fraction of her time and attention because she's too busy biking or going to the gym or hanging out with friends or just enjoying her much preferred life that when I gave you mine 24/7, it's too much. You're used to always reminding her why she should choose you and leave her husband for you that when you were my only choice, you think there wasn't any challenge. You craved...
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Dear Axel, My dear, sweet nephew. In 16 days you will be two months old, and I will not have held you a single time. This isn't due to distance or time, it is due to the hate of an individual close to you. Your father hasn't held you more than 20 minutes, and that was on the day you were born. Your grandparents have only seen you for a few hours, and that was also on the day you were born. I never realized how much not being able to see someone could hurt, but now my soul is screaming for you and for my brother. I trusted that individual, and I defended them. Up until a few days before you were born, I defended that person and tried to understand their feelings. They did not deserve my trust. They have broken my soul into a million pieces by keeping you from half of...
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