Broken Hearts

Sometimes I wonder why I frown or cry at the thought that I miss you, and you don’t know it. And that I know, you don’t feel the same. I used to be sad like this before. Yung lungkot na nagsasabing sana maalala mo din ako. Sana mapasaya mo ko ulit. You were there when I couldn’t even pick myself up. And it’s pretty ironic that I find myself a mess now that you aren’t around. It’s a funny life after all. To love and not be loved in return. And then you just cry and cry, until your heart gets tired, and until you fall asleep. It’s even funnier how love screws me all over again. Same cycle, same process. The attention I want you to give me, you keep giving to someone else. I thought I’m not capable of loathing a stranger, yet I have managed to. Kasi naiinggit ako. Kasi...
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I am 25 and am pretty new to dating. And I just had a fling. Not a story I can proudly share with all my friends, so it gets published here. I've just never felt that finding and being someone was a priority. But this year, I was ready and desired to have some of the companionship, friendship, and emotional intimacy my friends shared with their boyfriends. So I joined this dating app this year. I matched with a lot of guys but our online conversations sputtered and died. Until I met this guy who like me was also into finance and economics. He was interesting from the start but I didn't really think much of him, thinking him similar to the others. I found out he was looking for something casual as I told him I was looking to seriously date and have a boyfriend. He told me via text...
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I appreciate you coming to the appointment yesterday and then talking afterwards; it was very important to me and I felt it was a big step in the right direction for us even though the conclusion I drew was that I don't fit into your life right now. That realization hurt, made me feel hollow and devalued, it felt like a betrayal. I'm sorry we're at this point and am disappointed in how I've caused you to feel the same; in retrospect every action or situation or argument that got us here is clearer than day. I love you, . and in a way that is all-encompassing, "for better or for worse". You deserve to be and should know you are loved and cared for, and I'm sorry you don't feel it from me, but it's still there. It makes me sick that over time I let that feeling you had slip away, I don't...
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Today, today was the last day you’d ever call me names or put your hands on me. You destroyed a lot more today than just sentimental things around my house. You broke me in a way I never thought I could be broken. As is sat in my bathroom floor with the door locked crying my eyes out because once again you had wiggled your way back into my life just to break me down even more than before. Every time you came back the situations just got worse. Mentally I couldn’t take much more but tried being strong because I didn’t want to be another person that walked out on you. I wanted you to feel loved and cared about. Because I loved you more than you’d ever know. I made everything my fault in my head even if I never said that out loud. I lost myself along the way. And that. It scared me. I wanted...
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Thank you, for teaching me things about myself that I’ve never known. The eight months that we spent together were a time of substantial growth, love, and euphoria. I’m grateful for the experiences we shared, the places we went and for the opportunity to know someone as courageous as you. I vividly remember the night we met; at a Chick-fil-A across from Lowe’s, it was a cold night in the early months of the year, I was driving my moms car because mine never worked in the cold. I knew I’d like you if you liked eating Chick-fil-a as much as I did. We spent many more nights eating fast food at ridiculous hours. This was one of my favorite quirks that we shared, we could have just finished watching a movie on Hulu at 2am and we’d immediately agree that we needed sustenance of an unhealthy and...
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Dear Ex-Best Friend, I often find myself reminiscing on the “good ole days.” It hits hard while scrolling through Instagram and I see a picture you posted, or when your mom posts something on Facebook about you. That is when I get the all too familiar urge to text or call you only to come to the all too familiar realization that you don’t want to hear from me. You’re doing just fine without me in your life, and in a sense I’m glad. Conversely, I am equally as upset. In middle school, when we met, everything seemed great. We talked nearly every day, hung out often and were “attached at the hip.” I can even remember hearing once that “if you saw one, you saw the other.” I even remember on your fourteenth birthday when my mom wouldn’t let me come to your party and you were visually...
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This letter goes out to everyone who took me for granted...
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Let me explain to you what it feels like to be told you are fat, a worthless parent, not good enough. Stupid, lazy, crazy. It’s heart breaking it does something to a person they can never fully get over. The thoughts replay throughout my mind daily. I question myself when I know better but after being put down for so long you start to believe you are absolutely worthless. Let me convey the emotions that rip through a young woman like myself when she is convinced she is someone’s forever. Let me express the hope and loyalty that is instilled inside of a girl who built up wall after wall only to feel as though they were peacefully torn down by a man who pulled her deeply into his love. I cannot formulate those emotions into words the same way I cannot describe the way it felt to have you...
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The whole world might conspire against you, because you know people will keep spreading all the bad things they know about you but I want to let you know.......all that means nothing to me. I want to know that side of you that no one seems to care about. But how do i dive in deeper? Where do i go from here babe? The more you let me in your life, i cant help but realize that deep down you’re hurt, like a broken piece of glass that was shattered. You are waiting for someone to pick and fix you up. And if they do, they’re gonna bleed just like how i am bleeding right now. Slowly, the pain will come back to you. You can’t do that babe, you can’t let someone fix you. Only you can do the fixing yourself. I hope you will soon realize that. But i’ll be here, always.
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To the girl who’s name is a variation of the colour red, Crimson. We got together sometime in the beginning of this year. You left me in August. And that, I have to say, hurt me horribly. But, I know you didn’t want to be harsh. You explained everything to me and I’m thankful you didn’t just leave me with no explanation. I was drowning for years and you finally came into my life and gave me a breath of air to life myself up with. Now we aren’t together anymore, but I’m still so in love with you. I know you’ll never feel the same way about me again, so I just want to say goodbye. I don’t want to leave you, and I would do anything for you, but I need to leave you now. This letter is to explain to you why I’m leaving you out of my life from here on out. There’s a small piece of my...
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