Broken Hearts

I'll never forget the day I opened up to you. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make me want to open up more. We were kids and I think I just liked the idea of having a companion. I didn't care about your flaws. I didn't care that you weren't always listening. I didn't care that your methods began to look a lot like peer pressure. I didn't care that you began to make excuses. I cared when you walked away. You see, I had put everything I had into what we had because you didn't put in anything. I was devastated. Then, I was okay, and you decided to come back. I loved you again, with hesitation at first. I thought I had nothing left to give, but you proved me wrong. I gave you my heart. I gave you my body. I gave you my mind and my soul and my confidence until I was nothing but...
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Dear Everyone, 9/30/18 2:20 am This letter goes out to everyone in my life who made me or broke me. I'm writing this letter just in case my thoughts become too much one day,...
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To the one I loved, the one that hurt me, the one I forgive, the one I had to walk away from. In no particular order, welcome to my brain I never wanted a life without you. I feel lost and helpless and defeated. I can’t eat or sleep. My stomach is in knots all the time, I have constant runs and I’ve gone back to wetting myself out of anxiety. My head is dazed. I feel total sadness and despair. My eyes are filled with tears constantly. I cry all the time. I don’t have a home to go to and clean or tidy or animals to look after. I don’t have someone to come home to and to talk to. It’s quiet and lonely. I don’t have a purpose. I’ve lost everything that was me. It’s not fair that you hurt me. It’s nit fair that I hurt you when I had to leave. None of it is fair. I miss your hugs...
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Dear Freddie, I don't know where to begin. The pain I feel without you is like nothing I have ever experienced, made ten times greater by the knowledge that you probably haven't given me a second thought in months. I am walking and wounded, with thoughts of your arms wrapped around me circling in my head. The image of us crying with laughter together is forever etched into my brain and is constantly torn to pieces when I remember the words you said to me that made me fall apart inside. "Well I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way. We're not going to work after this. I'm sorry it's so harsh but that's just what it is for me. I wish you the best of luck for everything you do in the future." I never knew that words could cut so deep. I never knew I could feel so intensely human with...
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The final line, the last thread. I know that in writing this letter to you, I will be sealing a future without you. That I will be crossing the last line. That is the decision I have made. I don’t understand what you would be getting out of a friendship with me anyways. According to you, I am a manipulator who brings drama and negativity into your life. I’m not “cool” enough. I can’t be your friend. It won’t ever work. All I am to you now is a regret and a mistake. You won’t remember any good things. It’s easier to remember the bad. For a year and a half, I supported you, emotionally, and financially. I bought you food, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs when you had no money. I gave you colour, and furniture, air conditioning and clothes. I lent you money I didn’t have, close to $...
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Dear Dad, Do you remember when I was your little girl...
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I've written to you 100 times. With every letter I write I think it will get easier and it doesn't. 6 years have passed and throughout these years I've had a chance to see things from not only my grieving perspective, but that of everyone else who loved you in the way I did, too. I've said a lot of "I miss you" and only god knows how many times I've begged for you back. But after 6 years, I've come to terms with the fact that no matter how much we love you, you deserve so much better than here - and it would be so selfish for us to bring you back to a world where you just couldn't be happy. So from here on I want to make sure that people remember you in the way you deserve to be remembered, and too learn from you all that I was lucky enough too. So this letter is your lessons that...
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Infidelity costs: a 19 year relationship, a 12 year marriage- a child’s family unit- a child’s home, a family's dreams and plans for the future- the comfort of having someone there for you in your worst moments and in your happiest, who stood in front of friends and family and promised faithfulness. All gone because of a sense of entitlement to please oneself - not just once, but over and over again day in and day out for 5 years, without feeling guilt, without thinking about those whose lives will be broken forever- your reputation- your extended families - your mutual friendships - how your child will view you as he gets older, how the woman who has loved you for almost 20 years would be devastated. You stood there for 5 years blaming your wife for a “not normal” marriage. While your...
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It was February 6 years ago when I was referred to a physical therapy clinic for neck pains. That very first day I went for my consultation, I shook his hand and I felt something right away, an instant attraction. I went for treatment 2-3 days a week for 2 months. With small talks, I learned about his family , wife and kids. The feeling I had kept getting stronger and I could tell he felt the same. One day during my treatment, he took my hand to help me up and gave me a hug. I felt the closeness while he held me for at least more than 2 minutes. Long enough for me to have my face touch his neck to smell his scent. I was a hug that I didn't expect. I was surprised and left the room sort of in a rush. I didn't go back for treatment purposely until the following week, which...
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In all honesty, I hadn't stop thinking about this man since I met him 6 years ago. I will refer to him as Mr. B. I knew it was wrong. But I felt a connection I hadn't felt in years. He felt the same for me. The "where have you been all my life" question came up during many of our conversations. He spoke of his discontent with his marriage. A wife who was a stay at home mom but did not do what a wife or mom was supposed to do. She didn't clean the house, the cleaning lady came once a week. She didn't cook, rather she'd have one of the kids call him to pick up food on his way home. She was not interested in any outdoor activities. And most importantly no longer interested in sex. She wasn't affectionate and didn't want to be touched. There was no physical contact. Not...
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