What I would say to Katherine but won't ...
You do not know my husband. You do not know the very complex person he is or the relationships he has had as a child nor as an adult. You will never know all the many thoughts that go on in his mind nor experience the extreme highs and lows that I have experienced with him.. Who you met was a man in need of attention and affection. Which you apparently gave to him tenfold... he has so many different layers that you can never understand, I still struggle with understanding him at times after 22 + years. You were a fantasy. Your relationship was a fantasy. I know this now. You gave him nothing but admiration adoration and affection. He craved this his entire life. But the truth is this is not reality. When you know someone, really know someone... you know the ugly dirty parts
of that person not just what they portray In a new relationship. You must work through their past present and future with them with full knowledge, which you did not have. You never had it with him in any important relationship he has had in his lifetime. He showed you what he wanted to show you.. I struggled with what I had that was mine and mine alone with him that he didn't share with you or recreate with you. It hurt me more than anything to know he let you in as far as he did. But I now know he didn't. Part of me wants to be vindictive and would hope you could experience what you would no doubt experience if you had the depth of the relationship John and I have so you would understand what I am eluding to, but I won't as again the pain, suffering, sadness is what is mine alone. What is most meaningful when you truly know someone,
when you truly, before and still after the pain, love someone and cannot breathe without them. When they walk into a room, your body reacts to the very core, not sexually but intuitively like they are a missing piece of you that just arrived. That is what I have always had with him since I was 19 years old. There is not enough room for 3 in a soul mate relationship, which is what John is to me. You will not get the good aspects of my relationship with him while I am left with what is remaining.. You see there is only so much good that happens in a very full and busy life,, like John and I have with careers, parents, children, grandchildren etc.. You stole these moments from me for far too long. You pursued someone who was of an age to be your father, why? You played your game well. What did you and he have or possibly could have had in
common, other than sex and you being a yes person to him which is so weak...You won for quite a while, you felt entitled to be disrespectful to me, the wife and mother of his children. I hope you never know what that feels like as no woman should. A woman was created to procreate with a protective partner. A woman is strongest amongst all humans as we are the ones that ultimately have the power to give life. But we are also caretakers in that life and of the ones we love. Don't ever pretend that you know who I am if you are not woman enough to find out.
He did say you were his only friend. Did you wonder why? Because every friend he has had since childhood (many) and his family (abundant) would have told him what yall had was insanity. His male friends may have been impressed due to your age but that would have been the
extent of it.. I know they would agree it wasn't real and that it wouldn't last. You were instructed to call his office number so I wouldn't know about your ongoing emotional affair. You and he both knew this was wrong. Men and women can be friends but only if it is not a secret. Men and women cannot be friends if they've had a sexual, and or serious relationship in the past that their wife, girlfriend or partner did not know about. You are delusional if you think that is possible. He hid our ongoing relationship thru our separations from you. He hid our reconciliations from you. How did that make you feel? Is that the characteristic a good friend? I can't even fathom how after finding out that information in December of 2020 you continued the relationship. Was this a power play on your part? Did you need to do this so you could feel you
were still most important to him? You must not be happy in your current relationship if you continued to seek friendship, love, attention and support from my husband. I feel sorry for your husband. You have him completely fooled if he truly is ok with what you and John did. I did not nor ever intended on involving your husband as you stated in one of your email responses. You also stated this is why your good friendship ended. You are incorrect. Your friendship/affair ended because my husband chose me, not you. He knew what he did was wrong and he regretted it and would not have spoken with you again even if I never forgave him because you would be a reminder of a stupid decision to continue a meaningless relationship to stroke his own ego that ended the most important meaningful relationship in his life. I was there thru the
tough times, I gave him children and raised those children and built a family, a home, we together built the life we have, which by the way was not all bad. You on the other hand wanted my life.. you saw a picture perfect future with him because he was financially secure, stable, educated,, intelligent, in great physical shape, charming, a good father,, etc.. You cannot come in and share in even the smallest part of that. This may sound cruel but given the position you have taken with me, I do not feel sorry for you. You are a selfish person. You pursued my husband from the day you met him, you pursued him even while having other relationships and during your marriage. A real woman would have had more self respect and more self reflection to know her own faults and at some point try to work on bettering herself in the future. You no longer mean anything
to me. I did search for every bit of information I could find about you. Who are you? Where did you come from? What did you look like? What kind of job did you have? I tried to pick out every flaw I saw and made assumptions based on the limited information I was given by him. I desperately tried to understand who you are as a person for almost a year now. I don't know any more than I did a year ago. I do know my husband and I have come to understand why he did what he did with you, why he felt the way he felt about me. I by no means am a saint and am not perfect and neither is he. But I will continue to work on myself to be the best person I can be in the future.. I believe he knows why I made the decisions that I did, even though those decisions hurt him and we will work on a new marriage going forward without you in the picture. You
stated you have tried to reach out however he has ignored your attempts. Hopefully my letter of explanation helps you understand why. Please leave my husband and our family alone. Do not reach out to him, there is no place for you here. This chapter is over.