Friends

I want to deeply, deeply apologize. This is not an apology that I'm giving in hopes that we'll be friends again. Not an apology that I want forgiveness for. Just a real, earnest apology. After ten years, I looked back at one of our last conversation and realized that you were always absolutely right. These aren't excuses, just facts. I take full accountability for how I treated you; I treated you poorly. I got mad easily, was sensitive about everything, projected all of my insecurities on to you, and somehow felt like I was superior because I was older and wiser and had a right to help you decide your future. Since our last conversation: My father has died My mom admitted to having used me and lied to me my whole life for the sake of wanting to damage my relationship...
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Hi Bes! I hope you're doing great wherever you are. I'm sorry I haven't given you a lot of attention. I'm sad that you're gone, I regret not meeting you even just once. When you told me that you had an illness I was shocked. I also doubted you since there was no proof, but I believed you in the end. I can't tell you to avoid this or that, since I figured most people around you already said that. I also didn't want you to feel as if I was pitying you. You were and still are my best friend. All the things we talked about, animes, mangas, daily life, and your exes HAHAHAHA. I would miss it. I will miss you. Every time you helped me with my math homework, I felt really grateful. I don't know if the news I heard about you was real or not, I was hoping it wasn't because that would mean you are...
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i think many people would say the basic thing everyone says after someone kills themselves, something along the lines of "killing yourself is never the answer", but i honestly think that's useless and also quite hypocritical coming from me. i could say something similar to what your parents thought, they didn't ask why you did it since they mostly knew, they just asked why they weren't enough to keep you here. and i don't know about that either. i know people can't cure a mental illness, i've come to realise that more than ever this year, which is why i won't ask that. i also know our relationship, whether it's just about us two or the trio, wasn't the best and it was actually pretty toxic. so i guess i'll just say whatever comes to mind, it's not like you'll ever read this. i think i...
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Dear Satu, Finally year 2022 and bold new beginnings, but what changed? Did Satu change? Despite all of your never ending talk about groundbreaking transformation and spiritual growth. No I don’t think that you did. Does my opinion count, I don’t think that it does, it never did to you. You would have already changed something if it did. But let’s be realistic, you don’t change, do you? You asked for examples of your entitled behavior, here are just a few. For me this is just to reflect back, and move on. I’ve had the odd privilege of having a front row seat in your self-sabotage almost four years now. Your cycle of abusing family, friends, and professional relationships has not changed one bit. Somehow you still manage to keep your head above water. The cost, maybe there is none...
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¹ eu sou alguém que gosta muito de saber sobre as pessoas que estão ao meu redor. Muitas vezes sei de coisas que elas me contam uma vez e eu me lembro daquilo por anos, ou às vezes eu apenas escuto o que eslas dizem pra outra pessoa. Mas percebo que quando se trata da minha pessoa, quase ninguém sabe o que dizer sobre mim. Então lá vai: me dizem que sou calma, fofa e meiga. Talvez um pouco, mas mais do que isso, eu sou tímida, nervosa, rancorosa, sensível e muitas outras coisas. ² eu sou uma pessoa sociofobica, ou seja, eu tenho mais dificuldades pra conviver com outras pessoas fora de casa. Mesmo que eu saiba que os outros gostem de mim ou nem mesmo liguem para o que eu faça, eu me importo com isso, e pesa muito. Eu quase não consigo fazer coisas simples como fazer uma apresentação...
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Freshman year of college was a whirlwind of a time, and I enjoyed experiencing it all with you. With the ups and downs of the year, in those short eight months before COVID kicked us out of our dorm, I relished every moment. Even as we had our arguments, I never questioned your honesty and transparency. I applauded your ability to always be blunt and invite all types of conversations. However, as we were getting to know each other, there were a few race-based conversations we had that were distasteful and unexpected. As a first generation American, I always appreciated your openness to Indian culture and enthusiasm to learning about my family traditions. Your curiosity to learn about different customs is admirable, and I really appreciated it in the right context. However,...
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I’ve tried to talk to you so many times about what you did to me a long time ago, but anytime we met up you changed the topic mostly to about you. So I want to share with you openly what you did and what I accomplished. When we first became friends , I thought it would be a lasting friendship. We dated a pair of brothers at the time and always were together. But after I broke up with your boyfriends brother, you treated me differently and then replaced me as a friend with his new girlfriend. That was fine, I got over it. In the meantime we still danced together. I supported you when after our main instructor quit and you took over teaching and almost all except 8 students quit because they didn’t like your dance style. And even though I really didn’t either, I never told you and I stayed...
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I can say I regret what I did, even though it was the right thing to do. You were more than just my friend, but my soulmate. My lifelong partner, my family, and my home. But like any good relationship we had our ups and our downs, but I always just let it go. I guess that's just the type of person I am, I don't care how you treat me or what you do to me. It's not because I'm nice or care about your feelings, it's really just because I don't care. So when we would get into a fight and you'd ignore my feelings and make the whole thing about you, I'd just move on. But I couldn't do that this time. You were starting to catch these feelings for this boy who I could tell was going to break your heart, not because he's a bad person but just because a relationship with him wouldn't last....
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August 16, 2021 To Whom It May Concern: One of the most difficult parts of my job is trying to explain to a spouse or parent what it will be like to watch their loved one pass away. I feel the need to try and warn them about what they may see and hear as they hold onto their family members hand during the final moments of life, as dying is not always a peaceful and quiet process. This is especially true when the person who is dying is suffering from pneumonia or any other severe lung ailment. These patients can become severely “air hungry”, as they are unable to satisfy their need for oxygen. Healthcare workers do everything in their power to make dying people comfortable but sometimes it is just not possible and we fail. One will witness many different types of breathing when a...
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To E, You'll never read this, and even you do, you probably won't know it's for you. Isn't it pathetic, how I still think about you, even after all these years? I still can't think of your name without feeling the sinking in my stomach. To say I miss you would be a lie but to say I am indifferent would be a bigger one. I don't want you in my life anymore, and I know you don't want me in yours. Still, I wonder what would've happened if things kept going. I wonder that a lot, nowadays. I still remember your birthday. And what your favorite ice cream flavor was, back then. And the food you're allergic to. So every late April, and sometimes when I see mint chocolate chip ice cream, and very rarely when I walk pass the berries in the grocery store, I spiral. Which sucks because my...
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