Friends

I've been thinking about this a lot, so for both our sakes I'll keep it brief. I'm really happy I moved to Georgia. I moved down here because I was lonely. I hated coming home to an empty house, because Christina would be at work. And I found myself getting out of the house, just so I didn't have to feel lonely. Being with you made me feel better and validated. And that was my problem. I depended a lot on you guys to make me "me," to make me "whole." I thought if I didn't have you guys, then I didn't have any value in my life. I remember thinking to myself sometimes, "If they continue to love me, I'll have worth." It had nothing to do with God and my relationship with him, just us. So when I moved down here and was cut off from you all, it was the scariest and the most reviving thing I've...
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I tend to think I am someone who is generally easy to get along with and have never harmed a soul who has not deserved it. Then again, most people tend to think of themselves higher than they truly are. I have ruined days before. I have marked people in ways I wish I would have not. For those people, I offer these apologies. No names will be involved for anonymity purposes, but you’ll know who you are. I also added a song to the ones I felt one for, but didn't do a song for each because that would be too forced. For the person who I suddenly turned on for something they may have not even done, the person who I refused to tell why I had done so, and the person I embarrassed in front of their own friends by making them out to be some sort of terrible human being… It was wrong of me...
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Picturing my life without you has always seemed like something that could never possibly happen, But now picturing my life without you is becoming more of something that seems possible. I tell Matt all the time how weird it is that we really aren’t friends anymore because over the course of our what 10-11 year friendship I think the longest we could stay mad and away from each other was maybe a month. Now here we are and I’m pretty sure it’s been over a year. I’m literally crying as I write this because of the fact that you are one of the most important people in my life. I know That I’m the main reason that I’m no longer your best friend. I pushed you away, I was using heroin and I know that with everything with kindle that was hard for you to watch. I guess I just thought that we would...
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Dear Stranger, I met you when I least expected, but most wanted. I met you when I was all alone, carrying a mountain on my shoulder and a void in my heart. There you were, sitting in the cafe, deeply immersed in your laptop. And there I was, completely drowned in my thoughts, looking for a place to sit. The chair next to you was the only one I could lay my eyes on and I am so glad that I did. Without thinking that you may have kept it for someone else or that you may not want someone next to you, I just sat on the chair. The frown between your eyes made me realize of my abrupt encroachment, a bit too late, but you were kind enough to quickly change your frown into a smile. As I was absentmindedly looking at the wine list, you suggested that the one you were having was really good....
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The most likely case is that you believe that I hate you, and that would make sense considering I haven't made a single attempt to contact you in years. In fact we've even ended up in same place, same time senarios where I've done everything to avoid any sort of conversation with you. Your beliefs are wrong, more than anything I'm worried about you, and sorry that after all those years together I wasn't able to help you help yourself. Just to set something straight, by no means do I miss you, or us. Let's be honest our relationship as a whole was the definition of toxic, all admit on both sides for a while. And as you know I'm married now with a family, the last couple of years have been kind to me. I was hoping that by now the years would have been kind to you as well.... I...
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I have known pain, not all but different kinds of it. Like colors, it has its own spectrum. It can range from tolerable to fatal, one-time to recurring, temporary to lifetime. Out of all sorts of pain I have known and felt, losing a good friend is probably one of the most disastrous and enduring. I never thought I would have to deal with that kind of pain again. Ending friendship is in itself heart-soring. The feeling gets worse when you realize that you could have done so much better to save it. My friend, we could have done so much better. I could have done so much better. I could have been so much better but my nature has made me so weak. I am not as strong as you think I am. I can no longer endure. For a long time, I thought I was protecting us—I buried words so that they...
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Dear Best Friend, By the time you are reading this you will be on the way to your next destination. Over the last few weeks I have been filled with many emotions. Selfishly, sadness is the one I remain at. I see you almost everyday and I just haven't found the strength to be okay with you leaving. I wanted to take a little bit of time to share how special you are to me. This open letter is out of my comfort zone so bare with me while explain a few things. You already know many reasons I call you my best friend but I'm going to give you a few more that you didn't know about. A better way to describe our friendship would be to say that you saved me. I see how strong you are and just admire you for it. No matter what comes your way...you never let it take you down. You're attitude is...
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Hello. How are you. I know you're not up to small talk with me. Because of something/s I did in the past. So I would like to take this chance to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I've said, sorry for the things I didn't, sorry for the friendships that ended, sorry for hurting you when I don't really mean to. Sorry for the times I wasn't there. Sorry for the times it seems I didn't care. Sorry for the hardships and heartaches I caused. Sorry for the good times we've lost. Sorry for the love that ran stale. Sorry for the times I yelled. Sorry for the times I was silent. Sorry for the times I didn't listen. Sorry for the times that stood still but it still didn't matter because of my will. Sorry for the ruckus I've caused. I promise to change it all off. Sorry for making all of you...
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to my best friend that i can't seem to get over... when i lived just up the street from you, i never realized what i had. i never realized how lucky i was to see you every day. i never realized how lucky i was for our families to be best friends, always having dinner together at a moments notice. i never realized it until i moved three states away from you. being away from you for so long made me realize that i missed you so much, more than i would've thought. at the time, i missed you because i needed a guy friend to talk to and joke around with. but then you came to visit. and all my feelings rushed in like a tidal wave. you visited and we spent time together. my heart hurt, physically, because i missed having you around. but i realized it wasn't because i missed having a...
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Sometime around three years ago, I was living in a hotel room. I was completely disconnected from anyone that I had ever known or established friendship with. I was off of every single form of social media. I did not have a cell phone. I did not have any money. I had no one to turn to. No one to talk to. I had dropped out of high school, and my life seemed to be in shambles. Killing myself was a daily thought. I used to try to reconcile in my head and give myself reasons to actually go through with it. I practiced writing suicide notes everyday. I would go out and take walks very early in the morning and look at the cars bustling by on the interstate and wonder if I should just jump out in front of one of them and end it all right there. It was a complicated situation. If I were...
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