An Open Letter to the Girls that Don't Know What They Want

Let’s just be honest. I had my heart absolutely ripped out recently, and it hurts, it hurts really badly. The reason why it hurt so much wasn’t because of the promises that were made, the conversations that took place, and the reassuring that she would be there through thick and thin, even though that hurts so much, but what hurt was the fact that she did not know how to verbalize what she wants. I was attracted to this girl more than I ever thought possible. Every little thing made me love her more and more. When we got into fights, she would say, “Just love me” and it put a smile on my face every single time, and it made me do just that, love her.
In a second, a literal second, everything changed. She suddenly said that it just wasn’t working. We were doing a long-distance relationship. It was hard. But it was not something that was impossible. She said she couldn’t do it anymore and basically left it at that. She told me that she needed space and time to figure herself out. She kept on saying that she didn’t know, she just didn’t know what she wanted. She just needed time. She cut off all communication and I respected her space and time. When she said she needed time, all I heard was the word “goodbye”, and I was the most broken that I have ever been. I guess that’s what it means to love someone. My whole world, in a second, shattered, and I kept wondering if I could even get through the coming days without my best friend.
Were all of those late night conversations, all of the promises, all of the reassurance, just lies? This is the question I was asking myself.
After much thought, I have come to realize this: most girls really don’t know what they want. All of the promises and all of the “I’ll always be here for you” conversations weren’t meant to be lies; she just honestly did not know what she wanted. I wasconvenient for a time. I made her feel good for a time. But, once the honeymoon feeling wore off, reality started to set in which was, “Is he really what I want?” In the end, it wasn’t just me, it could have been anybody. She would have broken up with any guy, because she just honestly did not know what she wanted. She isn’t any different than any other girl, because most girls don’t know what they want. That hurts. That hurts a ton.
So, Girls, please, for the sake of the few good guys that are out there, don’t break a guy’s heart because you don’t know what you want. There are guys that would absolutely love you and cherish you for the rest of their lives. There are guys that immediately get so attached to you because you are everything they ever wanted. There are guys that want you there, to be there for you when you go through the good times and bad times. There are guys that want to hear just how hard your day was. There are guys that tear up when they see you getting on the plane to leave. There are guys that want to build a love from the ground up, and they will wait as long as you want, to make this happen. Trust me, they’ll wait. They aren’t in any rush. They just want you, and everything that comes with you.
Please, take some time. Think. Pray. Talk to older, wiser women. Read. Get alone with your thoughts and figure out what you want in a man. If that man matches up with what you want, in the end, make that decision. If he doesn’t, make the decision not to be with him, but tell him what you’re thinking. You can NOT leave him hanging. You will hurt him worse. Just talk to him. He can handle it.
Because there are guys out there that will treat you right. There are guys out there that will treat your mom right. There are guys out there that want to be the man that your dad wants for his daughter. There are guys out there that want you to know that they will be the one that you can run to in times of need. Don’t push them away because you don’t know what you want. Take all the time you need. But you have to, for your own sake, figure it out, or you will keep pushing the good guy(s) away. Please don’t look back after failed relationships and bad guys that use you and think, “I should have known what I wanted back then.” Because they arew aiting for you to figure it out, and they are waiting for you to say, “Just love me.”