Broken Hearts

We started as chatmates at a certain dating site, we chat a lot everyday but I never knew that he will play the biggest part in my life. That time I'm broken, or could be perfectly define as LOST! Yes! Im lost because of a guy who made me feel a totally worthless creature, but then this guy came (the one Im describibg in my title) he's first message in the dating site was "oh! I think I won't sleep today because I saw an agellic face in you", he caught my attention coz of his OA message, I msged him back but the first chatting session was just short since we have 7 hrs gap coz his in nigeria and I am in the Philippines (but were both Filipino). Since Im broken I tried to keep myself busy, then I realized that we were chatting regularly ( btw we are in a relationship in just 3 days of...
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I caught myself thinking of you today. Which isn't completely abnormal. It happens every now and then. I often find myself wondering, overthinking, imagining what would have happened if things would have worked out? Where would we be now? How would our lives be different? You were everything I wanted, everything I'd ever need. But, I hope you're happy. I know that we're still friends, and we have both moved on. But, I still miss you. I still worry. I still hope you're okay, but most importantly I still love you. Not in a sense that I'm still in love with you. However, I still have love for you. If you called at 3am and needed to talk, I'd led you my ear. If you knocked on my door in the middle of the night, I'd let you in. I was bitter with the way our relationship ended. It...
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To the boy who wore a mask; You put on a show. You made me believe that you cared about me. You did nothing but lie to me and in the moment, it was okay. I loved hearing that I was the world to you, hearing how much you loved me. Believing that you truly loved me as much as I did made me the happiest I had been my whole life. But it was all a lie. You wanted me, along with everyone else, to believe that you were something you really weren't. You don't know how to appreciate what's right in front of you. And sadly, you don't know what's it's like to appreciate what you HAD, even after it's gone. I challenged you to really think about the person you wanted to be. I give you credit for trying, you attempted to be someone who you've wished to be your whole life. You aren't...
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Dear You, I have unsuccessfully written you this letter in my head numerous times over the years. In the past, I was unable to put into words exactly what I wanted to say. I couldn't find the right words to say nor could I string together the right sentences to voice everything that was left unsaid between you and I even if you never read this. Initially, my letter to you was bitter, angry, and full of regrets. But with time, I came to terms with myself and the history we shared. Regardless of not ending up together like we once endlessly promised each other, you were a learning experience that taught me so much. And as time continued to pass, the wounds fully healed, and I realized that I owed you a thank you. I will forever cherish the memories we created together. You made me...
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This is my final communication ever. I was severely enraged during my last text messages to you, I will not act on showing your mother or anyone else the true you. I’m better than the anger and pain you cause. I do not apologize though, the same as you and if I decide to in the next month I won’t be contacting you or sending a text message. Seems fair for a month to go by and then send an apology, call in between work calls to confess you've been cheating and intimate with another woman, continue to lie or all of the other cruel actions you've chosen. See what was funny was I no longer cared, I was over your relationship with her; until last night when you started sending your sweet I was thinking of you, shopping for you, dressing you texts. That's when I connected it, sure enough your...
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I've been thinking during these past few days of not hearing from you after you had asked my permission that you will be busy for the weekend and will be with her because she's coming home for the next few days. In my desperation, I had realized that maybe we are soul mates after all. After having blocked you from everything, from my life and the internet, leaving no trace of you anywhere just to allow myself to wander awhile, I looked over all your "after me" posts for the first time. It is funny how we had bought clay for our children at a similar time. It is funny how I read all of C.S. Lewis' books when you had been calling your new love Lucy because you think she looks like her; to think that I loved Lucy best in his books and how moved I was by her love for Narnia and Aslan. It...
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"Love yourself girl or nobody will" I often feel like i might never be enough. Being a senior in high school and 18 years old now i often wonder why i have yet to be enough for someone to love me. I spend countless days thinking of diabolical plans to get you to notice me. I think of comments i could say to but in on conversations you might be having later on that week or even ways to catch your attention. Honestly i spend the majority of my time wondering what i can do to change your mind. And now i know I will always be enough and always have been enough. I know deep down youve caught my attention and i just didnt catch yours but thats okay! I know now that just because a boy doesnt come to me like they come to my friends or text me late at night because they want my attention...
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It was fun and easy. No strings. No attachment. Thats how it started at least. I denied the change for a long time. But i finally realized i was attached, and by then, it was too late. I was too far gone. I fell for you, and there wasnt anything i could do. And when i admitted it to you, you told me you had feelings too. Come to find out, these were just words to you. You just trying to make sure nothing changed between us. It took me 2 years. Almost 3 for me to finally say i couldnt play the games anymore. I couldnt be just your friend. Not even your lover. If you couldnt love me the way i loved you. You treated me like crap. You called me a whore. You called me a slut. You made it clear that i was nothing but a piece of meat to you. And even as you made no commitment to me, and you were...
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We were best friends for twelve years. Ever since you moved next door, we were hip to hip. I truly new what it was like to have someone I could tell anything and everything to.You showed me on how it felt to trust someone, wholeheartedly. Our friendship was the tightest it ever was 8th grade through about 2 months after freshman year. We went through so much together. The first day of highschool, we were in it together. Our first REAL boyfriends. Our first real heartaches. And you can't forget that freshman year drama. That was rough. But your were by my side through it all, you best believe if someone was messing with you, they were messing with me too and vise versa. We had so many stupid fights, but we could never stay mad.. We connected with each other on to many levels to...
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I am sorry. I am sorry that you do not understand what it is like to only confide in yourself. There is a constant battle, tearing me apart on the inside. The emotions I feel cannot be expressed to others simply because I have never learned to trust. Believe me when I say that I tried to trust, and over time my trust for you grew. But, the question always came back to haunt me: What happens after I tell you something that I have never told anyone else? Finally, that one person came along whom I’ve never felt happier with. That one person came who could pick me up when I was down. You were always there for me. Over time, as hard as it was, I told you things. In the midst of telling you, I cried. I stopped to leave the room, hating for you to see me like that. But, you waiting for me to...
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