Broken Hearts

I know this has been said a million times in a million different ways, but I can’t seem to break the cliche. I’m sorry for hating you when I see him smile like he used to. And I’m sorry for tearing you down in my head when I think about you touching his skin. My heart hasn’t completely learned to accept the fact that he took his heart away from me yet and I don't know how long it will be until it does. But, it knows that he has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen and I’d do anything to see it again; even if it means letting go. I don’t want you to view me as a jealous ex because we were friends before I fell in love the way I hope you have, and if you make him happy, I will love you too. I’d like to tell you a few things. He’s terrified of spiders, there is no way you can expect him...
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To My Ex Love J: I've hated you for the last year and a half, I have so much hate for you that I can't move on with my life, I can't get passed the heart ache I feel every day. My life for 10 years was always about you and your happiness. I don't even know how to live my life without you, I don't know what to do without you, some days I'm just on auto pilot hoping one day I'll wake up and see who I'm really meant to be. I hate you more than I've ever wanted to hate anyone in my entire life. You used me for 10 years and made me a promise you'd always be my best friend, that we would get married, start a family and love each other, but one day you change, I just kind of delta with the adjustments, you would tell me it's normal to be out all night with your friends and because I was...
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To the man who was too broken to love me: I'm so sorry that we didn't meet sooner. I was 18 and still in a relationship that I was fooling myself into believing would work despite the distance and the opposite college schedules. Please don't think I never noticed you. I did, but I always pushed the thought out of my head. When my previous relationship became too toxic, you were there. Not in the days that followed, but in the weeks that followed. I think there's something to be said about those who are broken. They're the ones who try to fix others. I want to thank you for that. I always want to apologize for not being able to meet you sooner, to prevent you from being so broken that you could not let yourself love me. I wish I could remove the pain your ex-girlfriends' caused. I never...
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We started as chatmates at a certain dating site, we chat a lot everyday but I never knew that he will play the biggest part in my life. That time I'm broken, or could be perfectly define as LOST! Yes! Im lost because of a guy who made me feel a totally worthless creature, but then this guy came (the one Im describibg in my title) he's first message in the dating site was "oh! I think I won't sleep today because I saw an agellic face in you", he caught my attention coz of his OA message, I msged him back but the first chatting session was just short since we have 7 hrs gap coz his in nigeria and I am in the Philippines (but were both Filipino). Since Im broken I tried to keep myself busy, then I realized that we were chatting regularly ( btw we are in a relationship in just 3 days of...
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I caught myself thinking of you today. Which isn't completely abnormal. It happens every now and then. I often find myself wondering, overthinking, imagining what would have happened if things would have worked out? Where would we be now? How would our lives be different? You were everything I wanted, everything I'd ever need. But, I hope you're happy. I know that we're still friends, and we have both moved on. But, I still miss you. I still worry. I still hope you're okay, but most importantly I still love you. Not in a sense that I'm still in love with you. However, I still have love for you. If you called at 3am and needed to talk, I'd led you my ear. If you knocked on my door in the middle of the night, I'd let you in. I was bitter with the way our relationship ended. It...
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To the boy who wore a mask; You put on a show. You made me believe that you cared about me. You did nothing but lie to me and in the moment, it was okay. I loved hearing that I was the world to you, hearing how much you loved me. Believing that you truly loved me as much as I did made me the happiest I had been my whole life. But it was all a lie. You wanted me, along with everyone else, to believe that you were something you really weren't. You don't know how to appreciate what's right in front of you. And sadly, you don't know what's it's like to appreciate what you HAD, even after it's gone. I challenged you to really think about the person you wanted to be. I give you credit for trying, you attempted to be someone who you've wished to be your whole life. You aren't...
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Dear You, I have unsuccessfully written you this letter in my head numerous times over the years. In the past, I was unable to put into words exactly what I wanted to say. I couldn't find the right words to say nor could I string together the right sentences to voice everything that was left unsaid between you and I even if you never read this. Initially, my letter to you was bitter, angry, and full of regrets. But with time, I came to terms with myself and the history we shared. Regardless of not ending up together like we once endlessly promised each other, you were a learning experience that taught me so much. And as time continued to pass, the wounds fully healed, and I realized that I owed you a thank you. I will forever cherish the memories we created together. You made me...
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This is my final communication ever. I was severely enraged during my last text messages to you, I will not act on showing your mother or anyone else the true you. I’m better than the anger and pain you cause. I do not apologize though, the same as you and if I decide to in the next month I won’t be contacting you or sending a text message. Seems fair for a month to go by and then send an apology, call in between work calls to confess you've been cheating and intimate with another woman, continue to lie or all of the other cruel actions you've chosen. See what was funny was I no longer cared, I was over your relationship with her; until last night when you started sending your sweet I was thinking of you, shopping for you, dressing you texts. That's when I connected it, sure enough your...
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I've been thinking during these past few days of not hearing from you after you had asked my permission that you will be busy for the weekend and will be with her because she's coming home for the next few days. In my desperation, I had realized that maybe we are soul mates after all. After having blocked you from everything, from my life and the internet, leaving no trace of you anywhere just to allow myself to wander awhile, I looked over all your "after me" posts for the first time. It is funny how we had bought clay for our children at a similar time. It is funny how I read all of C.S. Lewis' books when you had been calling your new love Lucy because you think she looks like her; to think that I loved Lucy best in his books and how moved I was by her love for Narnia and Aslan. It...
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"Love yourself girl or nobody will" I often feel like i might never be enough. Being a senior in high school and 18 years old now i often wonder why i have yet to be enough for someone to love me. I spend countless days thinking of diabolical plans to get you to notice me. I think of comments i could say to but in on conversations you might be having later on that week or even ways to catch your attention. Honestly i spend the majority of my time wondering what i can do to change your mind. And now i know I will always be enough and always have been enough. I know deep down youve caught my attention and i just didnt catch yours but thats okay! I know now that just because a boy doesnt come to me like they come to my friends or text me late at night because they want my attention...
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