Broken Hearts

Hi. Musta ka? Alam mo lagi kitang naiisip. Pero sa tuwing iniisip kita tinatanong ko un sarili ko kung naiisip mo din b ako? Alam ko din naman un sagot: Hindi. At kung maisip mo man ako, negative things lang un about me. All my errors for sure. Sa tuwing makikita ko un name mo sa pag vouch ko or khit marinig ko un pangalan mo, alam mo un tinatamaan ako. Namimiss kita. Pero controllable naman. Alam ko kung san lang ako. I know my place ika nga Ron sana mahalin mo din ako kahit mali. Sana may gusto ka din saken, kahit konti. Kasi kung tatanungin ako kung bkt wla akong boyfriend ssabihin ko "Gusto ko kasi un maling tao. Nakita ko na kasi un lalaking gusto ko, un lalaking gustong gusto ko. Kaso mali, hndi pwde"
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You were the one who I was supposed to be in my baby pictures. You know the one; that picture where the mother and father are holding their beautiful baby, gushing over how beautiful she is. I didn't get that. Instead I have the pictures of you holding my brothers and sisters. You were supposed to be the one supporting my mother. I didn't get that. Instead I watched my mother struggle just to provide for her family. I watched her have to depend on everyone else because YOU chose to walk away. YOU were supposed to be the one helping her change diapers, feeding me during the times she was too exhausted to function, helping her with every day life. No, you were out there living life without a care in the world. You were supposed to make sure I had everything that I needed and that...
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Wow. Things drastically changed. It's heartbreaking because I was always afraid of something like this happening. We don't talk anymore.. I check in sometimes just because I miss you but I don't get a response back. It makes me feel pathetic and I feel dumb because I care so much. I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you. After everything you've done and helped me get through, it just isn't possible. If anything, I'm more pissed off at myself. I caused this. I pushed you away. At first, I dealt with my depression on my own but even though you were my swim/water polo coach, you were kind enough to reach out to me and let me know that it was okay to confide in you. That it was okay to trust you. It wasn't easy for me at first but as time went on, I realized that you had a genuine...
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This is an open letter to the boy who mentally and emotionally destroyed me. Let me start from the beginning. We met and I instantly felt a connection. You seemed so perfect, so amazing. I thought you could be the one. We talked for hours. I felt so comfortable around you. I opened up to you. I gave you parts of me... I gave you everything. I sat by your side when you needed someone. I sat there texting you and checking on you,  even though you weren't talking to me. I told you I loved you. Then one day you disappeared. The cute messages stopped,  the random I love yous, everything.... I was heartbroken. I felt like my world came crashing down.... After about 2 months I picked myself back up.....  You came back... I immediately started talking to you again...  Giving you everything.... I...
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An Open Letter To The Boy Who Planned Our Wedding: I met you when love was the last thing I wanted. I met you when I wanted to kiss all of the boys I could. But then you came along and you changed me. You took me on our first date to the ice cream shop by your house, and our second to the dog park. You kissed me on my forehead when you hugged me. You told me how I made you open up, and come out of your shell. You sent me songs every night. I became cheesy and sappy, and we became the couple I hated. We were disgustingly cute, and we loved every second of it. You became my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my pillar. When you first said “I love you”, I couldn’t stop crying because I couldn’t believe you felt it too. You told me you knew how you were going to propose...
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Dear Ben, I understand that all of the events on The Bachelor took place in the past, but as someone who’s currently watching the show, let me just address something. First of all, you’re undeniably attractive, and very well spoken. Second of all, I understand that you did not create The Bachelor; you’re simply a contestant. Yet, I still cannot help but be offended by not only the show, but your behavior as well. Now, let me just preface this by saying that I have never watched this program before this season. However, your debut was all over social media. Everyone was talking about the fabulous Ben Higgins and, well; my curiosity got the best of me. In the first episode you seemed humble, albeit a little overwhelmed, as you told the previous bachelors that you did not feel entirely...
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I recently tossed out the last mementos from time spent with my Personality Disorder ex. This was the last steps in healing my wounds. I have NO ill will towards her. She is out of my life now. I do not think we will ever publicly cross paths again -- no need, to be honest. She can give me no more closure than I have found in myself. I had a very vivid dream last week where I saw her and she had 'healed' in some sense. She had become a renewed woman who was helping others. Volunteering and teaching. It was like the bad darkness she once carried had faded away, melted, and she was anew made only of her good parts from prior. It was lovely because it felt like she was briefly in my life, if only positively in the best way, for a brief few moments. The true goodness I saw deep in her...
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I feel like our time has come. I no longer feel the ways in which I used to when I used to think about you before I sleep or when we used to talk in person and I’d smile at every moment. Or when your text comes through I no longer feel as special time was taken to send a heart my way. My heart no longer skips a beat with excitement whisking in emotions of happiness. I find myself at this moment that instead of being hurt, I am sad. I no longer feel that I should invest anymore than I have already. I guess, I’m becoming/feeling other things. I believe that I am just comfortable where I am so I decide to stay for fear of missing out on what we could be rather than what the reality of the situation is. I’m glad you got to grow and I’m glad I was a part of that process. You’ve...
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I hardly know where to start to be able to properly express the way that I feel. I have feelings of hurt, sadness, abandonment, betrayal, anger...
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-An open letter for my favorite girl I'm still in love with you. I understand you thought I didn't care about you like you cared about me when we were together, but god you meant everything to me and still do. I also understand when you went on vacation to Portugal and we couldn't talk much, it really made me look bad. I knew Nina was able to talk to you through what's app and I would ask if she talked to you and how you were. I remember grabbing your arm almost every time you walked by me at work so I could get as many kisses in the day before you left. I knew I would miss you because being with you felt like the home I've never had. I missed you everyday you were on vacation but I knew missing somebody is part of loving someone. The days you were gone I couldn't wait for you to come...
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