We met at the fragile age of 16. I remember our first conversation like it was yesterday. You were like every other boy, but there was a glimpse of something great in you I couldn't help but want to know. We started off rocky, which should of pulled me away from you to begin with. Yet, you always made your way back into my life. As we grew older my feelings got stronger. I remember when I knew for sure I was in love with you. Staring into your eyes at my Senior Prom singing a familiar song in your ear, I never thought anything could ever pull us apart. After I graduated, spending time together got less and less as did your feelings. I knew things were changing, but I couldn't let you go without a fight. After a little break up I moved closer to you thinking it would help our relationship more. Yet, it only got worse. I remember you leaving me time after time for another girl or just to leave me. I never realized how much I pushed everyone away for you yet you never made me a priority. Times went on, you were still in school. I went months and months without speaking to you. Broke my heart to not have you around. Finally, we started talking again. I still loved you with everything in my soul. You were everything to me and I couldn't pull myself away from you. Then we got back together. It was fine for awhile but all the flash backs came rolling back to me. I never cared for anyone like you, but I never felt the feeling was ever mutual. You always claimed you did but, my anxiety only worsened and I couldn't break the barrier of feeling down and worthless to you. It may have been all my fault for everything that happened because, I'm not easy to deal with. Im a mess. No one has been the same since you. No one makes me feel like you do, are we meant to be? Or am I still hung up on what we once had. But, I know one thing for sure. I was in love with a boy. Who I wish would be a man. So, not knowing where the stories will ever lead to. At least I can say I know what being love feels like. Because, I had my first love and ruined every little bit of it.
"If I told you that I realized you're all I ever wanted
And it's killin' me to be so far away.
Would you tell me that you loved me too and would we cry together?
Or would you simply laugh at me and say
"I told you so, oh I told you so"
