Its been 3 years... Ive moved on, in a happy relationship, but I still miss you. How did we confuse the love that we felt for each other with a romantic one? Why did we have to enter into that stormy relationship only to end up without each other. I Lost my best friend and I cant get over it. I cannot forget and my wounds will not heal.
Im sorry that I broke your heart. Im sorry that I was selfish and threw you away because I was tired of your immaturity. I will never forget the look on your face when I told you Im leaving. I will never forget your pained phone calls begging me to stay. I will never forget the tears on your face after you landed up in hospital due to a suicide attempt. Im sorry. How could I have been so selfish? Your life was already such a painful one. I wish I could tell you these things. I wish I could tell you that I loved you since the day I met you and that I have never stopped. I dont even know why or how you always tugged on my heart strings. Maybe my pain was attracted to yours. Maybe my broken heart wanted to join with yours to fill our gaps.
I so often wonder if we would still be best friends today if we never dated. Would you still call me everyday? Would I still call you whenever I was sad so that youd tease me and make me laugh? Would you still visit me everyday? Would we still get drunk together and then get arrested for public drinking?
Gosh I miss you
We were poles apart, totally different people, me, hopeful, nerdy, optimistic and friendly and you pessimistic, sarcastic and an introvert. But we had each other. And we fit so well.
Do you still think of me the way I think of you? Or has your change in sexuality changed who you are totally? You blamed me for that one lol...That was a lie. You always lied but id still hang on every word you said. Our relationship was a disease, but such a beautiful one.
Making wedding plans with my current partner sometimes makes me sad because I know without a doubt that I would have wanted you to walk me down the aisle. If only we didnt mess it up. If only we didnt give in to our lustful feelings for each other.
I have many regrets,but one hope still stands strong and that hope is that one day you find happiness, that one day you find your place in this world and never look back on your painful past.
I Love dog
