To the man i never truly met.
From the very first message I knew there was something about you. Something even a year later i still can't put my finger on, but you made me feel like i mattered.
As time went on i soon worked out our lives have crossed paths in more ways than one, i knew of your bother and you knew my ex husband.. were even working with him at the time!
Out of all the people i could have messaged that day it had to be you, you weren't even my type! but there was something magical about you!
We had the same way of thinking, we both had failed marriages we both wanted to find love again and our children meant the world to us!
You were different from any other guy i had talked to, but i couldn't tell you who i actually was because i knew it would change everything, but i couldn't keep lying to you... Hurting you!
We talked about meeting, we talked about everything.. About how you were willing to give love another go, and so should i.
You told me not to go falling in love and i told you not to put me on a pedestal!
I remember the night you went out and got in a fight, finding out you were hurt and there was nothing i could do to make you better broke my heart, all i ever wanted to do was to make you feel spacial because you really are, but there was nothing i could do with out telling you the truth...
To which i did!! And it was at that point i lost everything i never even had!
My heart broke, you went off facebook, deleted all our messages, I knew i had hurt you! I knew that felt something like i did.
But from that point on i've never heard from you again.
Which of course what did i think would happen?! Story books don't come true in real life!
I see you a lot in our day to day lives, i know you see me too..
Maybe no more than what i did before all this but i do see you and i do just want to walk up and tell you how sorry i really am..
(To which i can't because i just want to hug you)
Yes i know you can never really fall in love with out spending time with someone, but what he had was the start of something I know you felt it, But i also know that if you wanted me you would just find me.. So this isn't a plea to get you back, no one could truly forgive what i did to you.
This is more of a way to put an end to it for me, so i can stop thinking about you, about how i wanted things to be and how i wish i never lied and my ex wasn't my ex.. I know he plays a big part into why nothing could ever happen.
So from me to you...
I am so much more sorry than you will ever know!
I hope you find someone that means the world to you and will treat you the way you should be..
Maybe in our next live xx
