Family

An open 'Thank You' letter to the abusive man my mother married. "Step dad" Dear step dad, I am 21 years old and I am still afraid of you. Not that fear of disappointing a parent. It's a fear that you have because of someone being so unpredictable you feel unsafe. Even with my husband to protect me, when I see you I still feel the hair on my neck stand straight up. I still to this day have nightmares of you beating me. I always wondered why you married a woman with three children just to abuse them. I didn't understand when you would say "I love you." I didn't know much about love but I knew it wasn't supposed to hurt. As I got older punishments became more harsh and physical "discipline" was more painful and excessive. I tried to be perfect, make you proud of me. But all...
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Growing up, I never knew why I was treated differently by my mom's side. I always thought it was that whole "tough love" concept but I found it extremely odd that they treated my older brother like a saint, and me...well...like shit. I would cry hysterically because they treated me so poorly. My poor mother failed to see the damage they did to me. While I can't blame her entirely, I would have liked a bit of more support. Her family is the type of family that if you stood up for yourself, you'd be shunned. So..I guess I was shunned. One incident that stood out from the others was the time I went to homecoming for the first time. I was SO excited and felt like a rockstar. Before my mom dropped us off at the dance, she made us stop at my dad's side, which I didn't mind. Then she pulled...
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Father, Ever since I moved in with you, you have caused me nothing but sadness. It was not my choice to move in with you, it was the courts. I am now 15, trying as hard as I can. My heart aches because of the sadness inside creeping, and lingering in me. I have tried to make sense of why you have not shown me the love that I deserve. I have told you many times of my mental issues, and looked me in the eye and told me that you didn't see a mental issue. I was broken when you told me that. I was surprised. Of all the referrals my school has made to you. Of the times Grandma had to come and get me from school because I couldnt do it anymore. I sometimes understand why you're mean, and vulgar. It's the drinking, it's the ten bottles of Busch you down each night. It's the withdraw in...
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I remember when I was little I would fly with my mother from Vermont to kentucky/Indiana once or twice a year. Those were the happiest and most exciting times of the year for me. I would get to see my great big huge family that I didn't get to see but a week or two out of the year. All my cousins, aunt and uncles, and you and gram. I knew my entire family loved me but I really knew you guys loved me. When you would look at me I could see a shine in your eye, a special sparkle that was just for me. Other grandchildren had sparkles too but this one was just for me, I knew it. When you hugged me I could literally feel the warmth and love jump from your body to mine. I always dreamed one day I would live closer, and see the family that loves me so much all the time. Then this past Christmas...
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Addiction hurts.. You,me,your kids , your husban, all who truely love you. We never thought this disese would take over , or maybe we just hoped it wouldn't. We all seen it coming , we want to help , we want it to stop , we want mom back on top! You are still around but the person walking in that body is no longer the mother , the wife , the friend we all know... I know its hard; we know your hurting , but do you see how hurt we are? Do you see who you have become? We dont know who you are anymore.. We know your somewhere deep down inside .. We still have hope you can find yourself .. We still pray everyday that these demons will leave you alone and you will come back as the mother , daughter , wife ,and friend we all know and love . We know your strong ; stronger then most women i...
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To All Entitled Partners I don't know what people definition of monogamy is anymore. In the past, monogamy was one person for life and now it is one person at a time. Things that defines relationships and marriage have changed so much throughout time. What is the universal definition of infidelity? I supposed, there is no such thing. Do sexting, staying active on dating app, watching live web-cam show considered as infidelity? I think the definition varies from couple to couple. But personally, once there are 3 elements of a secretive relationship, a degree of emotional connection and a sexual chemistry (both imagined and an actual act); an affair is there and infidelity has took place. In this era, it has never been easier to cheat yet never been more difficult to keep a secret...
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I have recently been reading a book called, The House of the Spirits. At first glance of the cover and reading the introduction to it, I knew it was going to be one of those books where I have to take my time and read slow. Really understand and remember what its saying and keeping that in mind for future events that happen in the book. Once I actually got into it though, I started to relate to it and related the characters in the book to people in my life. At the end, I actually didn’t hate the book, and that’s a lot knowing that I don’t read at all unless I’m assigned to read a book in school. The House of the Spirits was a book about a few generations of a family and all of their successes, struggles, and everything everyone went through over a lot of years. It went into topics like...
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As I sit up at 2 am and look out a dark window looking into the dark night thinking thoughts that nobody can hear I cry. My days are long and my nights are short. I have to keep silently reminding myself to breathe deeply and stay calm. My feet hurt from work and my heart is broken from the people I once loved who left me behind. We cannot choose out parents, God hand picked them both for me ? At 2 am I ask him why did you choose them both for me? All my parents ever did was hurt me. My mother was on drugs and left me in a soiled diaper as well as my sister locked in a dog kennel at 3 years old. My sister and I had no food covered in flea bites dirty hair starving and had rotted teeth. All that haunts my memory tonight is childhood memories of digging through garbage cans to find food for...
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I never thought ever two years ago that I would meet someone like you. I don't recall how it all played out. But it wasn't long until you found out I was self-harming. I asked you if you were going to leave. You told me to trust you. You said you would never leave. You didn't understand it. You tried everything. I remember that part clearly. You were not my mom. You weren't even family. You never had to stay. I didn't believe you. I thought you would leave as soon as things got hard. You talked me through my nightmares and tried to help me reach the best person I could be. and it wasn't long until I learned to love and trust you. It has not been easier. Sometimes I know I'm a burden and you may at times wish you never met me but you never let that show. The first time I remember...
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Growing up, I knew things weren't the way they were "supposed" to be. I didn't have that story perfect family that all my friends talked about. Though, then I didn't understand, as the years went on and I got older, it all became clear to me. My closest family fell deeply in love with poison. It completely consumed their time, thoughts, and feelings. At some point that's all that mattered to them. They became so selfish. They lied to, stole from, and hurt the only person that was truly routing for them; (me). The one person who secretly searched for help without getting them in any trouble. It all seemed so impossible. For months I never told anyone what was really happening. I forced myself to make excuses for them and I defended their name, as if I owed them something. I sacrificed...
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