You were my hero. My night in shining armor. You were gunna walk me down the isle at my wedding. You were supposed to be my best friend. But it turns out that I was just a lonely kid making up these things in her head. Because I now realize you are a coward. Pathetic even! You were supposed to protect us from anything and everything. But it turns out you were too busy staying at your girlfriends house or too busy allowing these things to happen under the same roof we slept!
I was molested EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY and I used to watch my sister get beat almost every night and the man who was supposed to help and save the day was stealing our things from us and bringing them to his girlfriends house. You were never there. I found comfort in being molested because SOMEONE WANTED ME.. how...
You Bastard!
“Dad”,
I’ve got to say you have to be the one person who has hurt me the most yet you aren’t even a part of my life. You were the first man I called Dad, but you certainly did not earn that. I guess that’s what hurts the most. You were never there for me, and you are the one person in life who is supposed to be. I was supposed to be “daddy’s little princess” or “daddy’s little girl”, but you never gave me the chance to be. I am now nearly eighteen years old and the only thing you’ve ever given me is a broken heart.
You were supposed to be my dad, the one person I can go to with all of my problems. The person that keeps me from harm.
You missed seeing me grow up. You missed four birthdays, four Christmases, when I got my driver's license, and most likely you will not only miss...
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I spent the first few months wondering “how” and “why” and in all my searches, I eventually uncovered that it doesn’t matter.
I think from day one, I was in love with the idea of who you could be and what we could be, and unfortunately I took that and ran with it. I never took the time to truly get to know the real you and fall for that person. I probably never would have fallen in love with your anxious, jealous, manipulative behaviour. I spent so many months wondering “did he ever really love me?”, and now I find myself wondering if I ever really loved you.
At first, I thought about the years we spent together and how much time I’d invested or wasted with you. As time went on I realized that my life in no way stopped when I was with you. Being with such a neglectful person gave...
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Our story was typical. We met through snap-chat and we took a chance and met. At the senior night basketball game at my school. You were from a small Missouri town 20 minutes away. You were exactly who you said you were and I was so excited! You were so sweet and proper. I couldn't be more excited. Everything that night left me thinking of how lucky I was to get this kind of fairy tale. You kissed me at the end of the night. I remember thinking "holy crap" that's how I've always wanted to be kissed. I could of stood there in the parking lot and kissed you all night. But I don't think our parents would have liked that very much. So when I was driving home all I could think about was how much I liked you. We later made plans to meet up again. Only this time. I met your parents and and your...
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You should have told me you are going to shut off from my life so that I no longer have to deep in my self for the thousands of what if’s and just move on and let go from hurtful truth.
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To the person who molested me. Why? At what point did you ever think it was okay touch me? At what point did my quiet, broken no become a yes to your ears? At what point did it become okay for you to sneak into my room night after night.
I was only thirteen. I had never even kissed a boy. And you made me never want to. You made me terrified of the opposite sex. You made me lose sleep almost constantly for seven years. Your face still haunts me, even after all this time.
I finally found someone who I cared enough to get close to. Someone who I trusted enough to try and pick up the broken pieces of me and patch them back together. And he is amazing. And because of you, I wake up terrified in the middle of the night, fighting to get away from him.
Not because he scares me. But...
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Every night, I miss you. Every day, every passing moment, I miss you. You are always in my mind and I really cannot get you out of it. It seems like you live in the depths of me. You are inhabiting me.
But that was the last time.
I swore to myself that I will never think of you. It was hard but through Him, I eventually succeeded.
Even though you are happy now, I want to thank you for making me happy on the days I felt down.
Thank you for teaching me the real meaning of friendship. Thank you for telling that to my face. Thank you for treating me like a friend, because I am your friend and that will never change. Even if I have fallen for you, I am still a friend.
You wanted something from me that I could never give. You wanted my virginity.
You told me all those...
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Where is the justice for not only my children but every child who is a shell of their former selves? Did you once stop and think what you might be doing to this child's life you are about to change forever? Did you ever stop to think why you are doing what you're doing? Did you ever stop to think that your actions will have lifelong repercussions for this child who's innocence you are about to destroy? Did you ever once stop to think how you got to this dark place? Unless, you don't feel it is wrong then, that just makes you dangerous and a psychopath. As human beings we are all capable of going to dark places; It is a choice. Evil is at the very heart of your actions. To make a conscious decision to harm a child is beyond comprehension to the human instinct to protect and keep...
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You never cared. I loved you and wanted to spend every second with you. When you did something right, I loved you even more. And when you did something wrong, I still loved you.
I took very much time out of my life for you, and I appreciated every second I had with you. From the beginning, I thought you felt the same. I thought you loved me, cared about me, appreciated me, and wanted me. But, you didnt.
You put on a show. You lied, cheated, and didn't take responsibility for your actions. I wanted the best for you, and I wanted to help you through anything!
You never loved me or cared about what I wanted. You never truly appreciated my huge heart. You never cared if you hurt me. You never appreciated the time we had together that God blessed us with. You used me! And I'm hurt...
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I don't hate you.
I used to. I used to wish I'd open the paper and find that you'd overdosed or been killed. I held so much hate inside of me that I couldn't see anything else except the bad that you had done. I used to find myself up at 3am, breast feeding my son, thinking of how you were most likely partying, or taking care of another woman's children, and I felt rage inside of myself. I was so blinded by this rage that I couldn't do anything else except hate you. I wasn't mad for what WE weren't; I was mad for my son, and let me tell you, there is no feeling that can mirror a mother's rage when someone has wronged their child.
I don't know exactly when this stopped. I can't pinpoint a specific day or a certain event where I just stopped hating you. It was a mixture of events...
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