Broken Hearts

I was born in a big bustling Indian city. A country that has more than 650 million women but is still patriarchal in its core, where sons are preferred over daughters, where having a girl is still considered a burden and where women are forced to pay dowry to get married. As an Indian girl growing up in an educated middle class family with liberal parents sheltered me from the deep issue of gender inequality that still exists in the Indian society. My parents raised me and my sister as they would have raised their sons. We were educated and taught the importance of being self dependent. Our parents helped us chart a course in our life to become confident and professionally successful women. However, we were not made to feel that we did something different or accomplished more or less...
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When you found me I was broken. My world was a mess and I no longer cared if I lived or died. I lived my life with a reckless abandon, disregarding the consequences, if I didn't make it to see tomorrow it would have been fine. The night that I met you was like every other night that I spent out, waiting for trouble, hoping that this would be the last night. We started talking and I felt something change in myself, for the first time in a long time I was excited, excited to see your name pop up on my phone, butterflies fluttering through my entire body at the thought of you stopping by on your way home from work. Laying with you was like walking on clouds, your touch like raindrops on my bare skin. At the time our relationship was purely physical, and it was. Perfect. As the weeks...
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I've seen and heard people say that chances are, you've probably met your soulmate before the age of 21. We're not quite there yet, we have some time still. But I already know. I haven't known from the beginning. But after five long years of loving you, and feeling at home only when I'm talking to you, I know. I've tried to give my heart away, only to find that there's nothing left of it you give. We don't talk much anymore. But you have no idea how much brighter my world is when we do talk, you have no clue how I'll replay our conversation in my head for weeks, every time you laughed at my dumb jokes, everything you said to make me laugh in return. In my heart of hearts, I know you are my soulmate. It is not something I know how to put into words. There's something that just...
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To you, I wish this had never happened. I didn’t know I would fall in deep when I walked into that classroom. I didn’t know you, and sometimes I wish I never had. We met because a mutual friend told you I worked hard and was someone you could count on when doing class projects. When you came and sat down next to me on the first day, you shook my hand, introduced yourself, and placed your incredibly oversized cup of coffee on the table. Over a year later, I know that’s because you literally can’t live without it and that it’s something that’s now rubbed off on me. I remember my first impression of you being, ‘wow this kid has hair blonder than mine’, but that quickly changed to realize you were confident, driven, very sure of yourself, and so, so kind. We worked together in the same...
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There's so much I wish I could say to you. I'll start with, we were never meant to be. I'll also consider that night a lesson I needed to learn. At the time and the days after, the lesson wasn't clear to me. However, time has passed and it all makes sense. You were a test that I failed. But, you also taught me that I deserve better than to settle for shit. You found me at my lowest, took advantage of that, and then ridiculed me for caring. I am honestly so thankful that you were such an asshole when I needed you most. Because, it was in that time I found the strength I've always had, but forgot I had it. This memo is not intended to bash you or make you feel like less of a person. Instead, it's to show you that I am stronger than your words and the way you made me feel. It's to show you,...
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For so long we were good together, even though we were apart. Our conversations lasted hours, our days felt strange without talking to each other and our thoughts, values and morals were shared. It was like we were the same person. It clicked, and by clicked I mean the sort of connection that doesn’t come along often, if ever. I thought it was real and it scared me. It scared me to the point where I couldn’t meet you. I kept you at a distance for ages but you were never far from my heart and my mind. I kept you there because I needed to know that it was as real for you as it was for me and I guess now I let you closer than ever, I was never going to get close to you. I needed to know that your feelings were deep enough not to meet me and see what so many see before getting to know my...
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To the man who I believed in . The man in tears, that I brought back to strength. To the boy who everyone turned his back on . To the boy that before my eyes became a man , a man for me . Someone who saw through my flaws and loved me " flawlessly " To the man that after time , saw my flaws and decided to use them against me . Didn't you know that words hurt? Didn't you know that I loved you ? Didn't you see that I'd do anything for you? I did everything for you. I'd do anything for you. Even before that night . I always said this wasn't my first rodeo. I knew. Was I so desperate and eager to love? To find someone for me ? To prove that I don't have to be alone ? You promised all these things , a whole different ballgame. You got down on your knees and promised me. Do you remember the...
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Dear @lionessmane1*** I don’t even know your name, not that I wish to know. You came in at a low point of our relationship. I know you tried to play a twenty something mind game with me so I would break up with my partner. I want to thank you. What you did was a kick in the ass and I realized how distant I’ve become from my partner. We’re being proactive as a couple now and getting the help we need and want. I couldn’t ask for a better situation. I know he has not spoken to you since the day I found out about you two. He has blocked you from every social media outlet and the phone. Well, let me give you a lesson in love. Never get involved with someone who isn’t free. The chance of the cheater leaving the other woman are slim to none. And A just told me that me that...
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Dearest Self, I’m so sorry if I am controlling you. I’m so sorry if I control your happiness. I’m just afraid this is just for a while because you’re still not over with you past. I’m so sorry if I forbid you to be too sweet, thoughtful and caring. I just don’t want him to hope for something you can’t take responsibility. I’m so sorry if I don’t want you to ask and get to know him more. I know how fragile you are and you might develop something that your system can’t handle. I’m so sorry if I can’t let you get mad. As you know, you have no right. I’m so sorry if you cannot demand. It would be too bad of you to abuse his feelings. I’m so sorry if I want you to hide your thoughts and emotions. I just believe, things need to be left unspoken to make it in control. And, I’m so...
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Dear reader. I hope this letter reaches all who are in a place of emergency care for those suffering a mental health crisis A Suicidal Patient does not ever go through the hassle of visiting A...
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