Dear Friend,
How are you ? We haven’t talked in awhile almost a whole month. Was it something I said, something we both know was a problem but neither of us wanted to address the issue. We used to be so close, I was either at your house or you were at mine. Our mutually love for baking was a basis we used to start our hangouts which would lead to movies, walks, and games. Laughing till we cried over silly things, what happened ? “In the silence of our egos we lost each other” oh how true this quote is and it hurts so much. How I wish I could explain why I said what I did and how it made me feel how much panic and pain and tears that flew through my mind as I knew my decision would put a wedge between us. You were just like us you felt the loneliness of being outcasted for no exact...
Broken Hearts
“You shouldn’t go back to the dorms drunk. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch.”
But you didn’t sleep on the couch, did you?
You’ll never understand what you did to me. Lucky you. You’ll never understand how I laid in my bed the morning after crying and confused. Or how I desperately showered, trying to make sure the smell of you wasn’t lingering in my hair. You can’t comprehend how vulnerable, fearful, and utterly worthless you made me feel. Nor can you perceive the panic that would hit so hard my knees would give out and I would feel like I was suffocating. You can’t even begin to grasp the anger that got so intense I just about broke my hand punching the wall. And though I wish you could feel all of this for just an instant, I know that’s not possible.
Because you’...
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Hi there,
Are you still single or have you found the one? Hey, I'm you. Do you still remember? The you who had been crying her heart out. The you who sacrifice every part of you to him. The you who force herself to read tons of open letters but still, stuck in the loophole of love. Do you still think that he really loved you? Do you remember how hard it was for him to appreciate?
Yes, the you right now is crying her heart out, alone in Starbucks, where he works. And YES, he is not giving a damn f_ck about you.
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Where are we now? I need to know. Because I am never going to be somebodies substitute. I'm no reserve option waiting in the wings to pick you up if other options don't work out, like I may have been in the past.
I deserve more than that. Whilst I acknowledge and appreciate your want and need for me to change myself and better myself for you and us but aside my desire to have a steady and successful life and relationship with the person I see when I see you, I have to examine the realities of what I am fighting for.
Am I fighting for the woman who looks at me with loving eyes, who respects me, who wants to show me off and share her life with around the world?
Is there a consistency in her feelings towards me and a security in our connected bond?
Is there complete trust and...
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I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I fell in love with her. I never wanted it to be this way. I never wanted to go behind your back, I never even wanted to believe that I could. For almost two years I was so ashamed and self hating over the way I felt for her. I tried to bury those feelings, to deny them. Why do you think I always said I'd never date someone who was more than a year older than me? Why do you think I always said I didn't find nose piercings attractive? Why do you think I was so obsessed with trying to get Germany bae to like me? It's because I was desperate to convince myself, prove to myself that my feelings were not real, that I could easily be interested in someone else.
But after that night we stayed up and talked to 6am while you sulked in the office, everything came to...
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I hope you're doing well. I can't hate you no matter what you did. I want you to know how broken you left me and how you made me lose faith in humanity. I want you to know how terrible you were to me to make me fall in love with the person you portrayed but never were.
I want you to tell me why you did that to me. Why you pretended to be someone you're not. Why you used fake name, fake face by sharing some other guy's pictures with me saying it's you. Why you proposed me while being all that fake person. What did I ever do to you to deserve that? Why you presented yourself as someone you're not and since we never met you succeeded so well in it, congratulations.
But why would you hurt me? Why why why...
Because of you I am not able to trust any guy.
Because I think everyone is...
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Where do I begin? Where do I start? What do I say? I guess I'll start by saying that i never meant to hurt you. I never want to cause you heartache.
It seems so silly, i thought everything i was doing was for you, for us. i kept using that same old reasoning on why i barely had time for you, i was wrong. maybe i did it for me. but despite all of those you stayed, you stayed for 6 years. you was my rock. you gave me support on days where i think that i should give up, you lifted me up on nights where i think that i should quit, that i have failed. its funny as this all sounded like a fairytale with a happy ending.
Everything was amazing, everything was a bliss. until one day you woke up and realise this was all a faux pas. you realised that you are not happy and you gave up. i dont...
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There’s really no good way to start this. A lot has happened tonight, and the worst part is, while I’m shocked, I can’t say that I’m surprised.
Just an hour ago, my then-boyfriend called me in tears. He said that he had another huge argument with you, over me. He said that it culminated in an ultimatum: either we end our three-and-a-half year relationship, or you disown him.
I know that we don’t live in a fairy tale or, dare I say it, some romance movie. I know how important family is to both him and I. It would kill him to lose you. I know that the choice was clear for him, no matter how much it hurt. That isn’t to say I’m absolving him of responsibility - no matter how inevitable these kind of decisions are, they are still a two-way street - but I feel the deepest sympathy for...
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An open letter to the guy I can't be just friends with...
I'm still in love with you, but I'm finally getting over you. But I'll never be able to be just your friend. Not because I can't be around you, or that I'm mad at your for not loving me back. It's nothing like that or even close to that.
It's that I don't want to ruin the image in my head of the guy I loved. The one that loved me back. The one who cared about me, wanted me, and I could feel. I don't want to say you have changed, because I don't think that is fair.
I don't want to lose the picture in my mind of your smiling face laying inches away from mine on my pillow. Your eyes closing as you try to hold back that goofy laugh you did when I said something dumb. I don't want to lose the idea of someone as perfect as you...
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You are in my thoughts every second of everyday with the 2 girls we made together. I think about the family we had and what I could of done different. I have never cheated on you or even thought of anyone besides you and the family we created. I am a piece of shit. I deserve the torture I sit through everyday but I will end one day. I pray for us to be a family again. I miss everything, I sit in the home we made together with empty walls because all I think about is us and the kids. I hate myself now, I am so lonely without you all, I punish myself for everything I even think I did wrong. I miss you all and love endless. I curse myself everyday and wish to make things better. I love you babe.
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