It's September 30, 2016, and today would have been 3 years since we moved from chester, PA to Philadelphia, PA. Instead of celebrating today with you Pooh, I'm preparing to pick up your cremains from the devon animal hospital tomorrow. I'll never forget the moment you walked into my life. It was the Memorial holiday weekend in 2008.
I was sitting on the sofa, icing down my left ankle which I'd injured. I heard someone shout there was a small dog going up my neighbors alley; these people had several pitbulls they used for fighting in their backyard. I immediately got up and went up the alley and I saw the cutest little K-9 headed in the direction of that neighbors backyard. I reached over and picked up the cutest little fluffy K-9. You got comfortable, nestled in my arms. It was love at...
Family
So many people that I have told my situations to have turned me down, saying that all children need discipline and structure. I, myself, agree with that statement. Yet, no child should ever go through the stress, depression, and fear that I went through. I am writing this letter to let people know that many families struggle, and there is a difference between discipline and abuse.
Dear Mom,
Time has passed, and you have drifted away from me. When I was younger, I used to look up to you as a role model. You were the light of my life. Maybe I was too naive, or stuck up in my child mindset, but I only saw the good in you. You gave up everything for me. You provided even when my own father tried to convince you to abort me. You stayed near me and tried to protect me from all the...
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My dearest grand child,
Beta, I may not be around when you will read and understand this letter, but I wish I glare your loving , moonlike, laughing face when you grow up.
Beta, when you grow up people around you may call you a girl ,pour loads of advice on you and keep restriction to do this thing and not to do that thing, may always try to make you aware that you are a girl. But you should always be aware that you are no less than anybody else and mainly so called PURUSH of this world. You can do anything you like ,anything and I mean that. One thing I would like to remind you that strength ,be it physical or mental, remains in the brain. And I am sure my child , my blood cannot be helpless ,agonized ,fearful before this PURUSH dominated society. Our father of Nation, Mahatma Gandhi...
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I still remember it clearly; the day you first opened your eyes as you sleep on this neatly laid fabric, and you, covered in a cream white linen to give you the warmth you sincerely deserved. I wasn't only staring for I was fascinated with the feeling of explicit ardor the moment our eyes finally met. This has been a euphoric moment any other soul would love to perceive. I couldn't help myself from caressing your innocent face; brushing down your perfectly rounded cheek, to nuzzling your adorably tiny nose. You are the perfect blessing, I thought to myself. This playful grin faded into a beam for I can't do anything but cry in joy and relief.
Days to months, turning to years-- numerous moments have passed but I still see you as an infant who knows nothing but to give me the delighted...
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Its five years now, a lot has happened, since I last seen you. I've won a regional championship, graduated high school, moved 8 hours away, made Dean's List in college with a 4.0, and I play college hockey. But I know you know all of this of course. You know there is a lot I wanted to learn from you, ask you, and experience with you. I know we weren't as close like some son and fathers are. I'll admit I blame myself for that, I could have called more, or could have even asked to come see you more. I find myself every single day since you have passed thinking about you. Whether it was a Tuesday class at night, or when I say my prayer right before I get on the ice. You are always on my mind. I know was a lot to handle as a child, and looking back I wish I wasn't. I've gone back to visit you...
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It was the day after my 6th birthday, my mom and dad looked so sad and I couldn't understand why.
They said we all had to talk as a family. That's when I found out my dad was leaving. That was 13 years ago. I as many others have had so much trouble coming to terms with the fact that my parents didn't love each other anymore, and that we would never be together as a family again. It's not something anyone should ever get used to... but more often than not that's exactly what has to happen. I was jealous of those families who were lucky enough to spend Christmas together or even just a meal together. I hated that I couldn't come home and just watch wrestling with my dad everyday.. I was a daddy's girl and the hardest thing for me to do was be apart from him.
I hated the trading back and...
6,613
Dear John,
I haven't even gotten into an actual sentence and I'm already tearing up...
I just want to start off with, I would do anything to have you back in my life. Along with Papaw too. You and him were my only fatherly figures in my life that I really really looked up to and adored.
I think about you all the time and I always wonder what our lives would be like today if you were still here. Maybe we'd still have our movie Tuesdays, maybe we'd do our Super Man dives (even though I'm far too big now) or maybe we'd even do our flips. No one will ever know.
I remember that week so clearly like it was yesterday, but it was seven years ago. You were staying in Kentucky with Grandma Jenki and you had a good job. Now that I'm older, I also realized you got off whatever drugs...
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Dear... Dad or I guess "hey you",
I know we never actually knew I was your daughter until I was four, but you always told me deep down you did know. Why didn't you step up if you truly knew?
When we did the DNA test, I honestly was a scared little girl through it all. I only knew you from the parties my mom, uncle, and aunt always through in our trailer (I was indeed the party baby, surrounded by drunks), but I'd never met your family.. they were scary and unfamiliar. Soon, I came to like your family... and you.
The only problem was, were and are an alcoholic. You were always getting arrested for DUI's and your apartments were always being taken and all my toys, locked away in a storage cell the police had given you. All my cherished childhood toys and memories, gone. Never...
3,001
I am my grandparents eldest grandchild. I know many do not know me, only know the repeat tellings of others, you do not have to like me, I'm not bothered. But I feel compelled to write to you about my grandpa and what he means to me.
My grandpa, the only father I have ever known, and with my grandmother raised me most of my life. He is a husband of 62 years to my grandmother.
62 years of marriage, how many people can say that, not many.
I have so many fond memories with my grandpa. Our fishing expeditions to the ponds, he taught me to fish, to sit still...
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I killed myself at the age of 35 and no one noticed.
It was not their fault, it was mine.
I moved far away, got married to a person who had mental issues and I tried to make him comfortable by cutting off my security.
I cried out for help and no one was there. I messaged my husband on hangouts and WhatsApp with no reply. I messaged my sister this morning and she did not respond. I called my parents and no one was home.
I drown in a pool and left my three-year-old son alone downstairs for hours before my husband noticed.
I slit my wrist in the bathroom while all the kids were sleeping.
I threw myself down the stairs.
I went out the front door and walked to the highway. I waited for a truck to get close enough and then jumped infant of it.
I took all the pills I...
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