Exoneration for Two: an open letter of forgiveness to my biological father
Dear Father,
Thank you for bringing me into the world. And spending those first few years with me(my baby years). I remember when I got a little older and my mom had met my awesome step dad, she would still try to keep you and I connected. She would drop me off at Grandma and Grandpa’s house and you would be there. You would teach me how to play some new video game on your Xbox that you had just bought at the game store. I remember playing mortal combat the most, it was my favorite. We would spend late nights at the house watching The Hulk, Daredevil or some other comic book action hero movie that I came soon to love. Sometimes you had enough money to take me to the movie theatre near the house. You would buy...
Family
Dear brother,
I remember when we would always get in trouble by your mom when we stayed out after dark playing football with our friends. Then when would get back to the house she would yell at us. “Where the hell were y’all at for that long”. She was very mad and we had to explain that we was over Justin’s house playing football. We had so much fun when we younger. Especially when we always play basketball.
We would argue a lot then make up shortly after. The arguments would be very stupid to me. We would argue about things like food and got to sleep on the bed. Just the little things we would argue about. I never stayed mad at my brother. He always do something funny to make me laugh. He is the funniest man that I know. One time he said something so funny while i was drinking...
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An open letter to all of you who love my very sick grandson
In April of this year, our family started a journey we never dreamed we would endure. My grandson, Jase, started bruising very badly. The pattern of bruising was unusual and we knew something was wrong. Everyone was terrified Jase had Leukemia and in my sleepless nights of surfing the internet I realized childhood leukemia has a high cure rate. But after months of hospitalizations and test, we got an answer that changed our lives forever. Jase has Dyskeratosis Congenita which is a rare genetic disorder caused by a mutation in one of his genes. The disorder is so rare that only 7000 people worldwide have been diagnosed. The absolute worse part of this news is that there is no cure.
Dyskeratosis Congenita can be mild and show...
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Dear Family,
You have always told me “That if nobody else got you that we got you.” Those words have stuck with me since i was a little boy. When I first started playing sports in the fifth grade i depended on y’all all the time for stuff. Mom has never been a big fan of sports but I convinced her to let me play basketball. Now I’m trying to convince her to let me play football again. Dad never has really cared that much. My older brother is the one who supports me no matter what i do. He always has that's why i support him so much. He started me into sports he got me on a football team. He later got me on a basketball team and I have played ever since. My older sister is the same way she has supported me through everything. But now my sister is about to have her second kid. I’m all...
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Dear mom
An so my day begins.i get home from school,do the dishes wipe down counters.feed baby change baby. Feed dogs walk the dogs go to take out the dogs. Re sweep because my little brother can't sweep right. Clean up behind my brother. Dont go outside, don't go to the park.dont go to the mall or movies. its rare.an so is a nap, i sleep then wake up my day has started over.You raised me from birth. An as i got older things became so hard for us but you always made sure we were okay. When i was younger you worked a lot, kids at school would ask me why i didn't get to see you as much or why didn't you pick me up from school. And why she always late. An i would tell them that you work. I never implied that you worked too much because i understood why you did what you did for me an...
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Dear Grandpa,
I miss you…I thought you wont ever leave. I thought you would always be with me. But I guess was too young to understand that but you went away and yes i still remember clearly how you left our lives.
We lived in Mexico with you for like 3 years but knowing you my entire life. I remember the times when me and you went to sixflags and i still remember all the funny faces you made i still have the video of that day. I also remember when we tried making a cake that was and still is my favorite moment when your old rescued hands grabbed mine and helped me bake and store the cake. It was all wonderful when we spend time with you at the park and we made jokes about every single person who walked by us. I know that you will be so proud that i am going on with my education...
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Hey,
I know you think we all agree with you, that everything you say we think you are right. In reality we don't think that, or at least I don't.
The past few days I've thought and the past few months these things picked at me. I needed a way to tell you but a moment never came up. I talked to you about so much, now I rarely talk at all. It kills me but the backlashes of it all are too much. Better to keep quite than disagree with you right? I saw that it wasn't only me that thought this. I learned from my father and my best-friends mom that they see it too. Control: how many times has my dad said you control everything? Many and now I see it. You do need the control, you want it.
If we disagree with you, you say we are wrong. I told you yesterday, I miss my mom, whom I have not...
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I understand that you had me at 16 and it probably isn't what you wanted at all. I understand that you looked at it as ruining your life, but did you also have to ruin mine?
I struggle every day with not feeling love, not feeling good enough, and not feeling like I matter. You did this to me.
You made me believe all my life that I wasn't good because I wasn't my sister, "T". You always liked her better. Maybe it's because you planned her, I don't know. You made me believe I was fat when I wasn't, causing me to have multiple eating disorders.
You made me feel like no matter what I did, it was never enough to match up to "T". I got amazing grades and worked my ass off to try to make you happy and while she was barely getting D's, she was still better. You still treat me horribly. You...
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Dear Dad,
I should have opened my letter by dear and state your name, or perhaps Dear Man. For Dad is a title earned not just given.
Anyway, dear dad, I know you think that I am some let down mistake that held you back from your life. You never had to tell me, your hands showed me. You drained the yellow from the sun and the green from the grass. You stole the color from my skin and left a porcelain shell of a child, you took black and white and only made grey. You took my smile and threw it away.
I know that you look at me like I was an inconvenience to your life and that you would have been happier not having me around. I know that you will never be proud or content with my existence, and I'm slowly learning to be okay with that.
For you see, those bruises you left...
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I guess being a step-dad is super difficult. not that i have any idea what it is like, but i'm sure it shakes up your life a bit when instead of a typical romance you get a package deal. I know it is super typical for a child to have an evil- step parent because i guess nobody wants their biological parent to be replaced. All the fairytales and stories teach us to loathe step-parents, never treat them like actual parents and defy their authority. In the beginning i definitely wanted to follow this trend. But i guess you dont realise the true wonder of a step-dad or mom until you stop. stop thinking of them as an extension to your family and start thinking of yourself as an extension to their love story. You didnt choose me. but i came along anyway. And yet here i am. Living in your house...
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