It was the day after my 6th birthday, my mom and dad looked so sad and I couldn't understand why.
They said we all had to talk as a family. That's when I found out my dad was leaving. That was 13 years ago. I as many others have had so much trouble coming to terms with the fact that my parents didn't love each other anymore, and that we would never be together as a family again. It's not something anyone should ever get used to... but more often than not that's exactly what has to happen. I was jealous of those families who were lucky enough to spend Christmas together or even just a meal together. I hated that I couldn't come home and just watch wrestling with my dad everyday.. I was a daddy's girl and the hardest thing for me to do was be apart from him.
I hated the trading back and forth wondering when I was gonna see my dad again. I prayed every night for years that my mom and dad would get back together, and it eventually became the normal for me. Now it's 13 years later, and I think I can finally talk about it. Divorce is different for everyone, and every kid deals with it differently. Even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes to this day. I was so young when it happened so young that I don't have those memories of my mom and dad happy, or the family being together. The one thing I remember from my childhood is that day. The day after my 6th birthday, the day my world changed forever. Maybe that's what hurts the most, I don't have those happy memories to reminisce on. I don't remember playing with my dad or non separated birthdays or holidays. Just that day. Its something that gets burned into your mind, and I know that its the one thing I'll never forget. The funny thing is that now that I look back, I'm glad they did what they did. Does that mean it doesn't still hurt? Of course not. But does it make it a little easier to cope with it everyday.. maybe just a little. You see after my mom left my dad. She found this amazing guy who loved her for her entire crazy self and picked her up and dusted her off.. he made her smile again which is something I hadn't seen in a long time... and then he married her. Did we have our fights of course, all I saw was someone trying to take my daddy's place, little did I know I gained a great man who loves and cares about me, and would and damn near has given me the world. I have two dads now, not just one. My dad remarried too, and I saw a smile again. I got a little brother and a little sister and an entire family that would do anything for me even if I'm not blood.
So yes when your little two weeks feels like an eternity to have to wait and see your father, and separated holidays are the worst. But would I change it? Absolutely not. I love how my life turned out, I love the family I have gained from this experience and I love that my parents aren't stuck anymore. Do I wish that the pain would go away? Yes. Do I wish I remembered more than just that one day. More than anything. Would I trade it? Not for the world. I am a product of divorce, but if it weren't for that one divorce their wouldn't be as much love as their is now. So I forgive my parents for creating this love triangle we are in now. Because seeing my parents happy is so much more important to me than seeing them with one another. I'm a product of a love triangle, and I think I just might make it.
