I wish I could tell every single person in this world that I don't miss you. But, that is just a very simply impossible task. I try to tell myself every time I see you or hear your name that you don't mean anything to me anymore. I try to move on, and be with someone who will actually appreciate me for what I do for them. But I always run right back to you.
I see you almost everyday. School. My work. We have the same friends. You even came to my birthday party last weekend. The one important day to me of all the days in the year, and you had to show your face. You had to make me cry. You had to tell me you loved me. I knew it was just the alcohol talking, I knew you didn't mean anything you said to me. You didn't even remember anything that happened.
And you constantly wonder why I...
Broken Hearts
Today, Amy Johnson is a happily divorced mom of two young boys. A little over a decade ago, she was a 25-year-old bride, confidently walking down the aisle to marry a man she loved without any doubts or reservations.
Below, Johnson writes a letter to the hopeful bride she was on her wedding day, reflecting on the marriage that followed and the love she continues to feel for her ex-husband.
Oh, Aim, look at that smile! On this day, you don’t, for one second, think this isn’t the best decision you could make for yourself. He loves you and you love him and you vow to be together forever. I know you hate surprises, so I’m here to reassure you that thirteen years after this day, all of that remains true. Sort of, anyway. You’re now divorced -- it happens about nine years into the marriage...
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Dear JS,
Hello. We've been married for 9 years now and for the last 5 years, I have been cheating, in one form or another.
And my last affair, he's left the country and I told myself, this was the last. Should I leave you or should I work it out? Knowing I am entirely different and conniving woman now.
I am sorry. Am I? I have to the point where my feelings are numb. I keep blaming you to justify my actions. How you never want to have a baby with me and you never make efforts to make love with me. Since we don't speak the same language fluently, I can't communicate with you. Since I make more money than you, all you think is I'm amoney making machine.
We got married the 3rd day we met. I was 23 and desperate to get out of my wretched country. You were a "loser" in your...
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Dear Girl Who Ruined My Relationship,
I know you're prettier than me and your voice is cuter than mine and I know you're the mother of his child and I know that you are basically everything I'm not. But what I do not know is what could make you stoop so low as to hurt me in this way.
Even now I am finding it hard to clearly express my feelings toward something like this. He moved on, and so did you. So what made you decide you wanted to have him inside you again, when you knew he was happy with me? What have I honestly ever done to you, other than pick up the man I love when you no longer wanted him? I have waited for so long to be able to hold him and now things will never be the same.
Don't take this as me implying he is without fault. He is just as guilty as you are....
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How dare you?
How dare you take my friend?
How dare you try to take my brother?
How dare you?
You’re hushed and guileful
You’re agonizing
And you’re often successful
You take life
You steal it away
From kids
From adults
From parents
From siblings
From friends
From lovers
But that doesn’t matter to you
You take life from so many
Are you happy?
Do you feel good?
Because I hurt
And now you’re trying to take me.
You bastard.
I will not go
I will not follow you
I will not listen to you
I will not give in
I am strong
Because I have to be
I have to be for those who weren’t
For my friend
For my brother
For everyone else you stole
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To the boy who broke my heart,
I wish I could say I don’t miss you. These last seven months have been torturous as I’ve opened and reopened the wounds of our disastrous breakup. Every time I thought I was over you, I checked your social media and remembered that you were doing just fine without me. I’d mistakenly stumble across our prom pictures from your senior year and smile as memories of us dancing for the first time crept into my mind, only to find myself holding my breath because I knew it was only a memory. Oh, how I desperately miss you.
It’s been said that love is blind, and I never understood that saying until I met you. I only saw the good in you, the things that made me fall for you at a drastic rate, rather than the red flags and warning signs. I looked passed...
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Dear ex,
I needed to get a few things off of my chest. Just because you never physically hit me does not mean you were not abusive. You emotionally controlled me. You convinced me I was worthless. That I could never get anything better than you. You told me everyday how i was fat, ugly, useless, a slut, good for nothing, etc.. you told me to kill myself. You threatened my life, my baby sisters life, my best friends life. You called me a "rape magnet" because I had been raped before. you threatened to kidnap me and bring me to the middle east so you could beat me without getting in trouble. You convinced me I needed you to have any worth in my life. I lied to family and friends for you. I took pictures of everywhere i went because you didn't think I was trustworthy enough. Meanwhile you...
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Man, i don't even know where to start this. It's been a pretty piss poor few months. But i think things are getting better now. I'm writing this because, after everything, i need real closure. Not avoidance, or comfort, but a real ending. So here goes, kiddo. Sometimes, I'm not sure how i feel about you. Some days, I'm angry. But I know I shouldn't be. At the end of the day, I think I had this idea in my head, that something took you from me. I know now that that is wrong. I say it in the kindest way possible, but you left. And I couldn't wrap my head around that. I wanted to be the hero, to bring you home, and to be the guy I should have been. Before. But you made a choice, and I don't resent you for that. I just don't know how I feel. I know that I want you to be happy, and that I have...
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What is your definition of pain?
Is it getting that call? At 10am? Or how about the second call at 7pm?
It's not painful enough to lose one to surprise. How would you feel after 2?
It's a week before your 18th birthday. But, you know what's worse? It's a week before your brother's 16th and his dad can't show him how to shift into reverse.
How would you feel, looking your baby brother in the eyes and explaining that he can not say goodbye. The man who made him 16 years prior does not get to see him become a man because of a bike with a faulty wire.
Or how about the feeling when you realize you are showing remorse to your bosses children for the loss of their father that morning and they show remorse for the loss of your father that evening.
How would you feel when your mother drinks...
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Rachel,
If I stayed quiet now I’d surely regret it on Christmas day, when I thank those dearest to my heart for bringing joy into my life. Before we met I was content, but in a twist of fate you opened my eyes to goodness I never knew I needed.
If being in love with you was simply a choice, how simple would we have become? We never would’ve grown intertwined, or supported each other as beacons at the end of a hard day. Grace has cradled us in curious yet delightful moments meeting our families, on a picnic blanket in my apartment, bumping heads at the Parthenon, and of course that night in April when my heart nearly beat out of my chest. Do you remember the night we met? Your laugh and the warmth of your heart turned me starry-eyed; I forgot the color of your dress (royal blue...
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