To the most beautiful soul I know

Subject: To the most beautiful soul I know
From: The soul tthat couldn't handle yours
Date: 3 Mar 2016

There are millions of people in this world, but in the end it all comes down to one. I know that there's something beautiful in my imperfections; the beauty that you held up for me to see. This is the reason I can never shake you.

I don't know what I did to ever deserve you, even if for only a short while... You always handled all my flaws and "weirdness" with an open mind... I remember the beautiful way you always looked at me, like you knew the depth of my soul from day one...As time went on my insecurities and anxiety began to show, but you still chose to love me anyway...After that things began to change I felt different I wanted space and time i wasnt ready to let you in let you see the mess I truly was .. I began to imagine how my life would be without you I began to go out and pretend you didn't exist.. But you were always there faithfully loving me anyway ..always there when I wanted you to be and never complaing a bit. Maybe you knew I needed to love myself or maybe you knew the way it all would end up ... Then one day I sat in my own thoughts only to realize you were everything I could've ever wanted everything I could've ever needed ..and you were still there loving me anyway you never tried to tame my wild spirit or discourage my impulsive life decisions or my weirdness you never wanted to change me you loved everything I was and everything I wasn't... You just stood there beside me catching me when the world came crashing down still looking at me like I was a magic trick you finally figured out... I can spend every waking moment trying to sort out why I allowed my self to wreck it all, but I could never sort it out, trust me I've tried... I remember sitting across from you, stating into the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen and feeling complete heartbreak, tears in both of our eyes, and at that moment when you told me the love you felt for me, how I changed your plans, I was shocked, through everything you did for me, through all of the in your face love you showed me, I still never believed you could truly love me, until that moment, I could feel your heart in my chest... That moment has played through my head more times than I can count, at that exact moment I knew it was too late... I knew that I had broken such a beautiful soul and there was nothing I could do to change it... I begged you to stay that night and the next day, I knew it was inevitable but I couldn't let go... When you left I knew that my heart would never be the same... I would think of you at the most random times, when I would think I finally had it all figured out and then just like that your memory shattered my focus... I would think of you at logical times as well, when passing certain places we had been together, when nearing a part of town that meant something to you... I swore that one day I would not have you on my mind, but that day has still yet to come... And now, here you are, still as beautiful as ever, still making my soul feel like complete chaos and all I want is to tell you that you're my world, that I want you more than anything, but that would be selfish, that would mean asking you to forget how unworthy I was for your love, there's things you've said that will forever be in my mind, I know that you want things in life that I could never give you and you deserve nothing but the best, I've held on to the thought that maybe that just wasnt our time but that maybe now it is... I know that is just my hopeful heart, I know I should let it be, stop thinking what if, stop dreaming of my life with you in it, but my selfish heart wants it so bad. I love you in indescribable amounts.