This is an open letter to the love of my life (a Marine).
I've always been told that when I find the one for me, I'll know. When I met you, I knew. I knew I'd spend the rest of my life with you. I knew that out of the seven billion people in this world, you are the one I want and need to spend the rest of my life with. I knew I'd give up anything and everything to be with you. I also knew this was going to be hard; there'd be fights, longing to be together, months without intimate physical contact from anyone, tears, fear, and hurt. I [thought I] knew what I was signing up for.
There's countless negative aspects of being with you, and everyone sees it. My friends ask how I'm holding up. Strangers whom I've never talked to in my life as my "how I do it." I cry, a lot. I...
Love Letters
Dear Friend,
Thank you for introducing yourself to me on the schoolyard when I was new to the community. Had you not, I don't know if I would have extended a hand.
When I first saw you in the neighborhood, I avoided eye contact. I couldn't see beyond the hijab. Your headscarf represented to me a religion of negativism and extremes, a culture of anti-Semitism, and a stifling of the modern woman. I passed judgment, was ignorant and afraid. I quickly concluded that we were from different worlds, and hence unable to find common ground; until we did.
Our sons' fast friendship, much to my surprise, led to ours. Several conversations, a few workouts, and a shared hookah later, I learned some things.
First, your commitment to Islam is rooted in a spirituality that transcends all...
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My darling girl, First, a confession: I had you killed. I planned it and everything; asked the vet round and a nurse in a green uniform with white piping - all with the express intention of ending your life. Yes, I know. I know you had no idea, because I had been practicing for weeks how to keep it from you, and how – when that time came – I could stop my chest from bursting with the fear and horror and unbearable, unbearable pain of it all.
I sat there, in your kitchen (it was always your kitchen), numb, and filled in a form about what to do with your remains. I ticked boxes as you lay wheezing in your sleep on the bed next door. I made a series of informed, clinical decisions on the whys and wherefores of that beautiful, familiar body that had started to so badly let you down. Then,...
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You keep coming back into my life in ways that make me question everything. It's not even you doing it. I went to the book store last month and saw a book on display that we read together. It made me smile to remember how fun it was when we first met. That was that.
Have you ever seen The Office? I'd never seen it before, but last Thursday, I gave in because I kept seeing it everywhere. There are these characters called Jim and Pam. They reminded me of us back then. Later in the series, they get together. We never did that. Our timing was always just really bad.
I went to the book store again this weekend. As soon as I walked in, another book we read together was right there in the front. That was actually the book that caused us to meet. I bought it. I'm reading it again....
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Three years ago we met for the first time in the parking lot of the Majestic diner in your city ATL.
We were nervous, wanting to make a good impression as we sat inappropriately close but the moment you drove up in the parking lot and I saw your smiling face I fell for you. Hook, line and sinker. From that day three years ago your name was written on my heart, my head, my blood, my hands, my eyes, on my lips. I've been inside your heaven.
So many nights we laughed and talked until the sun came up, and we loved ... sensually, passionately, spiritually, our souls touching each time. Remember the late night rides in your car. I was the Bonnie to your Clyde. We were fearless and in love. You made me feel so alive so protected; the world stood still around us.
Over time the real...
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Dear Best Friend,
When put in to perspective, we haven't been friends for a very long time. Without wanting to sound too clichéd, it sometimes feels like we've been friends for much longer.
I always struggled to make friends, but from day one we clicked and fit together in a way that I have never experienced with any other person. You're the only person who I can completely let loose with. I don't care if you see me acting silly or making weird faces. You listen intently to my strange musings and random ramblings that I would never share with anyone else, and laugh when I say something utterly ridiculous or make a terrible joke. You understand my weird sense of humor and who I am, even if you can't understand why I like so much milk in my tea or why Toy Story is the best movie ever...
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Everyone has their firsts in everything. In my case you were my first in a lot of things.
First guy best friend,
first love,
first kiss,
and the list goes on, including my
first heartache, but NOT my
first hearbreak.
You did, however, turn out to be the first guy to use me and exhaust me in all ways possible.
Let me remind you of how our story started and, eventually, ended.
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I was a girl who was sheltered by my strict and grade-conscious parents with a traditional culture, and was enrolled in an all-girl school since nursery. With those in mind, some may think that I'm a girl who's probably longing for a guy's touch, or even just companionship. However, it's the contrary. I lived my life not caring about boys. I...
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"We had a good run".
At least that's the cliche used for things that meet an untimely end for whatever reason.
You might be wondering why I did it. Why I turned away from you that last time? Why I finally walked away and closed the door on "you and I" if I still loved you? After all, there was a point when we were happy. So I have to ask myself the same question ... why did I?
It was never a secret to anyone, especially not to you, how much I adored you. You often held the title of "man candy Monday" on all my social media accounts. I boasted about you and I in photos I tagged you in almost every other day on Facebook. There was the time I left you a scavenger hunt all over your condo that led to a scrapbook I made you amongst other gifts. There was the time I surprised you...
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(Love Is Love)
I just want to hold you at night. I wanna cuddle with you at night. I wanna tell you how perfect you are, and how much I love you. I wanna kiss your cheek and see you smile. I wanna watch you laugh and see you just enjoy your self. I can't even explain how i want to hold your hand and show you to the world. I want to scream to the world that you are mine.
I wanna see you wear your cute little outfits, I wanna see you do the things you love, I just want to see you live because dear lord you are perfect. I wanna see you take off your make up, Because you look so much better without make up, and you still protest. I wanna see you wear my cloths and borrow my jewelry.
I wanna see you get over excited over tiny things. I wanna see you put your heart and soul into...
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Graham,
I came in with my family today for lunch as we were on our way home from a trip. You called the next party to order and I walked up to the counter and I saw your eyes get wide and you smiled at me. I noticed that your name tag said, "Graham" and underneath, "In training". You had to ask a co-worker how to put in a water for a meal, and then forgot what my order was and had to ask me again. You kept getting flustered (as most first-time employees do), but it was actually pretty cute. As I try desparetly not to make this sound like a Missed Connection on Craigslist, there was something there. And while I won't ever see you again, seeing as how I call the state above you my home, I just thought I'd let you know that althought I was exhausted and probably looked really irritated, I...
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