Dear Cali,
It's is such a shame I am not there with you.I only get to see you in pictures and on TV my heart flatters just at the mention of your name.I am just a teenage girl with a dream of making it in California.People think it's just an imagination some call it a bizarre dream like that one when you dream you are eating ice-cream then you end up eating your matress.To them its probably outrageous but to me it's a burning desire a passion from the depths of my heart.When that day comes I set foot in the grounds of California my love,I wil be more smitten I will cry to my very last drop because California keeps me going keeps me dreaming keeps me hoping.Eventhough I might be worlds apart I'll climb every mountain I'll swim every ocean just to be there I can't wait I can feel it in...
Love Letters
the weird crush i seem to have on you right now definitely came out of nowhere. i've known you for (going on) 4 years now as my boyfriend's friend. and i've never thought of you as anything other than his friend.
i think the issues in my relationship are what pushed me towards you. yes, we are trying to work through them, but that doesn't mean they don't hurt right now.
i had never looked at you this way, never dreamed of looking at you this way. i've met more than one of your girlfriends in the past, i've been nice to them, and genuinely liked most of them (except that last girl, what happened with her was... really messed up and i feel for you). i've never felt jealous of them or had any negative feelings towards them whatsoever. so how come the other day when you were showing...
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I knew right from the start that what we have might never come true. I initially didn't like you because of the way you look and because when I met you, I was still grieving from a heartbreak. The guy I was talking to right before you was precious, and I have accepted him for who he is. But all of a sudden, he told me that he knew things would be harder if we continued as it was impossible for us to see each other. Then you came along.
You said you liked me and started conversations awkwardly. You would send me photos that had questions listed and we would take turns picking numbers and answering questions. You started flirting with me, and I thought fine, I don't have someone to flirt with anyway. We didn't really have a date for our anniversary. We just said December was when we fell...
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Dear Mads,
I can still imagine you in my room when I sit here alone, even when I have company all I'm thinking about is you. How your laugh brightened my days and how your lips toke my breath away. How we could talk for hours and id never get tired of it. How when I held your hands, it just felt perfect. Your small hands that disappeared underneath mine, you always joked about how silly it was but I loved it. How your body felt pressed against mine when I held you close. And how now all I have from that is memories. Some good, some bad. But to me the good out weighed the bad tenfold.
I blame myself for our falling out. I had my issues that i needed to fix but I thought I could push it away and that being with you would fix me. It felt that way. Every hug saved me. Every touch made...
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Dearest Archangel,
As I delve into the deepest and darkest roots of my core, I simply can not grasp ‘the moment’. There's always a moment - a single peak of seeming clarity that usurped my soul and plastered my mind. It’s manipulative and its power was to create a disillusionment that falsely empowered me into believing that I was a strong willed person, capable of making responsible decisions for my own “adulthood”. “I can do this, I can either submit to this treachery, or I can resist and reject this. It’s not a big deal. It’s not as though I’m weak, I’ve never been weak before, why would I start now?”, it tricked me. I assume a similar process consumed my Archangel too. Well, I assumed a lot of things. I believed that we were the same, synchronised in thought, in senses, in lust...
598
I woke up this morning hoping that yesterday was a bad dream. I keep replaying your words in my head, the words that you are moving away for a new job. I could feel a ton of bricks hit my chest as those words escaped your mouth. I could feel the tears coming, but I held it together because I did not want it to be real.
For the last eight months, I have had a crush on you. You are this super cute, mysterious, nerdy guy who always knew how to make me smile, who knew how to make me laugh, and who I felt really comfortable with.
I know we're just friends, I know you told me that you did not want to be in a serious relationship and I respect that. I understand and now I know why.
I wish I wasn't so attached to you. I am proud of you for pursuing your goals, dreams, and I know you...
500
the years we spent together, i spent them thinking you were different. knowing you were damaged from years of childhood abuse, from a toxic mother with a drug problem, from your physically abusive stepdad, from the paranoid schizophrenic biological father you didn't meet until your preteen years. i recognized that you had baggage, that you had more than a lot of people usually do. i viewed it immaturely for a long time. i viewed you as someone broken, but beautiful, someone i wanted to fix. i guess that's the psychology major in me. i should have known that i couldn't have taken it upon myself to "fix you". that i can't fix you. no one can, but you.
none of that is your fault, you didn't ask to be born into the situation you were born into. you didn't ask for years of trauma, verbal...
667
She's the only reason why i still wake up in the morning. We did't fall in love in october and that's okay because i think i did. You'll probably never look at me the same and that's okay if i get to look at you from afar. Im closeted in my feelings and i wish i knew all the things i want to tell you, but i never will. And i want to save myself from despair and you from disgust that you would perceive me with i ever told you. I just want to hold you tight in my arms or you to do that when i'm down or if you are. And the whole world will be the same if i don't tell you that but i think i love you already. And i know you would never understand why i'm feeling these things for you because you don't feel that way. And i'm not all-covered in my sex drive but i just want the small things; the...
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Congrats po. Yey! FinallyyYyyYY xd I'm all yours na hihi.
Thank youuu for always being there to support me and for the times na I feel confused sa mga decision ko sa buhay. You're always there para ipatindi sakin lahat and I promise na to take that as an advice to grow for myself though aminado naman ako na may pagkukulang rin ako sayo. So yon, sana if may napapansin ka man sakin na di mo nagustuhan, tell me. Para alam ko kung paano mag a-adjust kasi everytime na sinesermonan mo ko, sobrang nafi-feel ko yung care and eagerness mo para mag work tayo and yeah, nag-work HAHAHAHAHHA. I'll promise that I'll continue to know you more, understand you, and accept your flaws. Cheers to the countless years with you!
I have found real life companion in you. I love you!
p.s. ilang linggo...
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Hey K.
I'm just gonna be honest, I haven't really been ok since things fell apart between us. Am I dwelling on every passing moment, ruminating about every text we sent to one another or literally twisting inside at the thought of losing my connection with you... thankfully I'm past that. Nonetheless, I know I still love and care for you. And for whatever reason, my feelings can't reach you. It seems as though every word I say is wrong, or every action is misconstrued. Even as I write this, I'm almost convinced that you don't care about what I have to say. Whether or not that is true, I may never know... but my only point of reference these days is how I feel. But I don't want to move past this point in my life without properly dealing with these feelings. God knows I truly cared for...
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